Dark Days
by Cyberbaby
Summary: What happens after prom...please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.**

The bullets whizzed past Spencer's head, she ducked. Throwing her arms over her head for protection, everyone else was screaming and dropping to the ground but her mouth wouldn't open. _Ashley...oh god...Glen, Clay...Aiden...Kyla...Madison!_ Spencer wondered where every one was. Car tires squealed in the parking lot as the shooters took off.

At the hospital Glen sat next to his sister, the two of them were surrounded by several of their friends. Chelsea was crying on Glen's shoulder and Aiden was next to Kyla the two trying to set things aside for the time being.

"Spencer, Glen..." Paula rushed in, her and Arthur had been having there own night alone and didn't hear the phone ring for at least two hours. She grabbed Spencer in her arms, the teenager felt stiff and calm. Her eyes were red and puffy put no longer was she crying.

"Dad..." Glen hugged his father who gratefully hugged back.

"Where's Clay?" Paula asked. She released Spencer and grabbed Glen while Arthur took his daughter in his arms.

"He...he's in surgery." Glen choked out, "Madison...she was shot too and..." he trailed off as he glanced at Spencer.

"Glen what?" Arthur asked.

"Ashley...she's..." Glen pulled his eyes from Spencer and leaned closer to his father, "She's dead."

Paula hears and immediately hugs Spencer again, "Honey I'm so sorry."

"I'm all right." Spencer lies and her family knows right away but lets it slid for now.

"I'm going to see if I can find anything about Clay." Arthur rushes toward the nurse's station.

"Tell me what happened?" Paula asked while making her children sit back down.

"The car..." Spencer spoke for the first time in several hours; this caused Aiden and Kyla to look over.

"What car sweetie?" Paula pushed hair from Spencer who quickly stood and walked toward the bathroom, "What car?" she asked anyone there who would answer.

"We don't know." Kyla spoke wiping tears from her eyes.

"It came out of nowhere." Aiden side glanced his girl friend or who he hoped was still his girlfriend. After the shooting she was the first person he thought of, he knew right then that he just didn't want to lose Ashley as a friend but now he had. Tears threatened to spill but he held back.

"Clay just came out of surgery." Arthur strolled back over, "They say he can have visitors but two at a time. He'll still be sleeping but he should be okay."

"Madison... did you..." Glen trailed off, the prom was perfect. His heart grew even more for her.

"She's going to be fine, she was shot in the back...they won't know more till she regains consciousness." Arthur gripped his son's shoulders, "Where's Spencer?"

"The bathroom." Paula answered as she stood to go see her other son.

"Will you guys be okay?" Arthur asked Aiden, Kyla and Chelsea.

"I think so..." Aiden spoke, "If anyone needs a ride I'm here." He spoke to all the teenagers in the room but really meant it just for Kyla. She stood up and headed to the bathroom.

"Spencer?" Kyla spoke as she walked into the restroom. She saw the other teenager in a dead stare at the mirror, water splashed all over her face, "Are you okay?"

"She gave me this you know..." she pretty much said in a whisper, showing Kyla the bracelet on her arm. Kyla thought the girl was going to speak more but she didn't.

"Spencer maybe you should go home..." Kyla walked over to her but Spencer only stared at the mirror.

"Why did I get mad...if I hadn't she'd still be here." Spencer whipped around to stare at her dead girlfriends half sister, "It's my fault that we were out there!"

"Spencer...no, it's not your fault!" Kyla tried to touch Spencer on the arm but she pulled away and rushed out of the restroom.

That night Spencer locked herself in her room, laying on her bed trying to cry but how could she cry when she felt guilty. Everything that happened ran over and over in her mind, the bullets, the screams and the blood. Spencer glanced down at her prom dress which she still had yet to change out of. There was Ashley's blood mixed in with Clay's. Splattered from top to bottom, even her shoes were drenched with the red gooey stuff. Standing up she walked to her dresser and took a picture of her and Ashley off the mirror, it was from the night they had dinner with Ashley's father just before he died. Laying back down on her bed she held the picture close and placed her head on her pillow. Her eyes closed, tired and sore she allowed sleep to take her away from the night.

Yawning and stretching Spencer realized she was under covers, her dad must have came in the middle of the night and covered her up. She wanted to go downstairs and talk to him, tell someone she was sorry about last night but she couldn't move. Spencer opened her eyes and found herself at Ashley's house, in Ashley's bed.

"Nice of you to join the awake people." Ashley's voice spoke on the other side of her. Swallowing Spencer moved slowly to look, her eyes drifted down to meet the beautiful eyes of Ashley Davies. Spencer shot out of bed screaming causing Ashley to fall back wards out of bed and quickly stood up, "Spencer what's wrong?"

Spencer took a couple steps back as Ashley approached her, "Y...you...your..."

"I'm what?" Ashley asked trying to touch her girlfriend who yanked away, "Spencer your scaring me...what's wrong?"

"Ashley..." Spencer stared at Ashley who held concern in her face; she was totally freaked out by what was happening.

"Yes." Ashley smiled coming closer placing her hand on Spencer's arm. The blonde freaked out, grabbed her coat and started down the stairs, "Spencer wait up!"

"What's going on?" Kyla asked coming out of her room and following the two downstairs.

"I don't know...she just flipped out, Spencer." Ashley sped up and cut her girlfriend off before she got to the door, "Slow down. Talk to me."

"I...got to go."

"Where?" Ashley wondered, she couldn't put her finger on what was going on.

"Home..." Spencer pushed past Ashley, as their shoulders touched Spencer dropped to her knees and threw up. Ashley's flesh on hers made the images come flying back, the bullets and Ashley crying out as one smashed into her chest because she jumped in front of Spencer.

"Spence..." Ashley tried to help the girl up but she pulled away and ran out the door, "At least let me drive you!"

"I'll get this, go get her." Kyla smiled and motioned for Ashley to leave.


	2. Chapter 2

Ashley ran back up stairs and grabbed her car keys and phone then rushed out of the house. Jumping in she started the motor while dialing the Carlin's home phone, as she drove down the road searching for Spencer she waited for some one to pick up.

"Hello."

"Glen...hey, is your dad there?" Ashley stopped at a red light, her thumb frantically drumming the steering wheel.

"Haven't you caused enough trouble..." 

"Glen!" Ashley interrupted, "I don't have time for this...Spencer just totally freaked out and ran out of my house."

"What'd you do to her?" He yelled, dead set that she must have hurt his sister in some way.

"Nothing..."

"I don't believe that."

"Is you dad there?" she tried keeping her cool but he wasn't making it easy and her nerves were rattled all ready after hearing Spencer scream bloody murder up in her room.

"Ashley it's Mr. Carlin." Arthur came on.

"Mr. C I'm sorry for calling but I didn't know who else to call."

"It's all right, tell me what's going on?" He was the only one at least only grown up that liked her and cared what happened to her.

"I don't know, Spencer woke up and just screamed and ran out...she was totally freaked Mr. C and I..." Ashley trailed off as she saw Spencer jogging on the sidewalk, "She's about to go in the door."

"Spencer what's wrong?" Ashley heard Arthur ask when his daughter burst threw the door.

"She's alive...blood...how can it..." Spencer screamed causing Ashley to grab the door handle of her car but then she froze unable to get out and rush across the street.

"Calm down honey, what blood...Spencer!" Arthur screamed, "Ashley I'm going to have to call you back."

"Mr. C what's..." The phone went dead, he hung up. Sighing she stared at Spencer's window, she could see shadows passing by frantically, yelling from both Arthur and Spencer could be heard but it was so far away that Ashley couldn't hear what was being said.

Ashley drove home after sitting outside the Carlin's house for all most an hour, she felt drained. Not once had she ever seen Spencer act like that, she didn't even break down when her parents found out they were together.

"So?" Kyla asked, her and Aiden were sitting in the living room. Ashley only shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

"Kyla called, I hope its okay that I'm over?" Aiden smiled slightly, his brown hair was sticking to his forehead probably from working out at the gym.

"She was just so scared." Ashley said joining them on the couch.

"Is she all right?" He asked laying a hand on her leg for comfort.

"She's at home right now, Mr. C said he'd call later." Ashley laid her head on Aiden's shoulder.

**Two Days Later**

Ashley woke up to her cell phone ringing on her side table, yawning and stretching she reached for and answered, "Hello."

"Ashley..." she couldn't believe who called, the voice gave it away immediately, "It's Paula...Spencer's mom."

"Is Spencer okay?" Ashley sat up quickly, her heart pounding fast. Her girlfriend hadn't been in school on Friday, Glen and Clay weren't saying anything.

"No, she isn't sleeping or eating...just sits up in her room all day and night. Can you..." Paula trailed off, she didn't like Ashley and she didn't like the relationship that she had with her daughter but Paula was running out of ideas, "Can you come over?"

"Yeah...just give me a minute to get ready." Ashley was all ready heading for the shower.

"Thank you." Paula pretty much whispered and hung up. Ashley Davies couldn't believe what she just heard, never in a million years did she think Paula Carlin would say such polite words to her.

"Kyla..." Ashley called but there was no answer so she dialed her sister's cell number, "Hey, where are you?" she asked as she jumped into her car, her jeans sliding into the seat perfectly.

"With Aiden, why?" Kyla asked her half sister.

"I'm heading over to see Spencer,"

"Do you want me to come?" Kyla pushed Aiden away because he was kissing her neck, "Stop!" she mouthed.

"No, just tell you know who I might not be home for dinner." The sisters hung up just as Ashley pulled into the Carlin family drive way. Gulping and gaining courage she opened the car door and strolled up to the door. Knocking she waited for some one to answer, this was the first time she was asked over by some one besides Spencer, it was sort of nice...besides the circumstances. She could hear the knob turning and all of a sudden she didn't want to be there, not knowing if she could deal with the situation. So far Spencer had taken care of her but she held her ground, Spencer needs me. The door opened and Arthur motioned for her to come in.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ashley I'm so glad you're here." Arthur hugged her, he looked warn down and older some how.

"Me too." Paula spoke coming out from the living room.

"What's she doing here?" Glen came barreling down the stairs.

"Cool it Glen, your mother and I asked her to come. Spencer's up in her room." Arthur smiled and pulled his son into the kitchen. Paula nodded then followed her husband. Breathing out and gaining courage Ashley walked up the stairs, time seemed to slow down. _What if she doesn't want to see me?_ She kept thinking the closer she got to Spencer's door.

"Going in?" Clay asked when he came out and saw Ashley standing outside his sister's door. He could see she was terrified.

"What if..."

"Don't," Clay cut her off, "I try not to play the 'what if' game anymore. Trust me, she wants to see you even if she doesn't act like it."

"How do you know?" She asked him.

Clay walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I live in the same house and can here her say your name at night." He opened the door and pushed her in before walking away.

Ashley's throat caught, Spencer sat on the bed in her pajamas. Her hair unbrushed and her eyes red and puff from crying, she had her head in her hands and if she heard Ashley come in she wasn't letting on. Pushing all fear away she approached the blonde.

"Spencer?"

"Go away!" Spencer said without looking up. Ashley shook her head and bent down so she could try to see the blonde's eyes.

"Spence..." Ashley tried to pull Spencer's hand away so she could see her face.

"Don't..."

"What?" Ashley asked, she could see how tired her girlfriend was. Spencer only shook her head 'no', Ashley slowly took Spencer's socks off. She tried to pull away a couple times but she didn't want to look at Ashley so it made it harder, "You need to talk to me?"

"I said no!" Spencer shot up now staring fully at Ashley, "You're not here!"

"Yes I'am...what has you so freaked?"

"Prom..."

"Prom has you freaked, I thought we weren't going?" Ashley furrowed her brows in concentration.

"We weren't...but we did...you asked, didn't you?"

"No..." Ashley took a few steps toward Spencer who didn't see.

"But you're going to, right...my locker..." Spencer was looking down in thought, "You're blood..."

"My blood?" Ashley asked now standing inches from her girlfriend trying to catch her eyes. She reached out, her fingers touching Spencer's bare arm.

"NO!" Spencer tried to use both her hands to push Ashley away but Ashley grabbed both of them and spun the blonde around until she was holding Spencer's arms crisscrossed and Spencer's body was pressed up against hers.

"I'm stronger than you so let's not play this game," Ashley said holding on tight to Spencer so she couldn't try and hit her again.

Spencer's legs buckled and she fell down crying, Ashley dropped to so Spencer was still in her arms, "You can't be here!".

"Shhhh," She rocked her girlfriend back and forth as Spencer sobbed, "It's all right."

"No its not, I don't wanna lose you."

"You're not going to lose me, I'm here..." Ashley stroked Spencer's cheek, pushing hair out of her face and twirling it between her fingers. Spencer and her sat on the floor for what seemed like forever until Spencer lay sleeping in Ashley's arms.

**The Next Day**

Spencer didn't want to move, she was wrapped in Ashley's arms. Both lying on the floor, blankets draped over their bodies. Ashley's skin felt smooth as Spencer stroked her hand causing the brunette to stir.

"Hey," Spencer didn't see her but the tone of her voice told her Ashley was smiling.

Twisting slightly so she could stare at the teen holding her, "Hey." Spencer tried to smile but it faltered. Ashley tilted her head and ran her fingers threw Spencer's hair.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Let's go away..."

Ashley sat up slightly, "Away...why?"

"You, me, Glen, Aiden, Clay...everyone, even Madison." Spencer ignored Ashley's question, "Skip prom and just leave."

"That doesn't sound like you, what have you done with my Spencer?" Ashley joked but it mad Spencer look away, "Sorry...I didn't mean..."

"It's okay," Spencer shook her head, "I love you." Spencer pulled Ashley in for a heavy passionate kiss. Usually Ashley was the one catching Spencer off guard but not this time, when they parted Ashley had to gasp for air.

"Spencer...that was new." Her eyes were wide, new...different...and very nice.

"I just need to show you how much I love you."

"Wait," Ashley laid a finger on Spencer's lips as she came to kiss her again.

"Don't you want me?"

"More than anything but if you really want to show me that you care...talk to me?" Ashley told her.

"About what?" Spencer knew it was a stupid answer.

"Cute, you know what?" This was the first conversation where Ashley was doing most of the talking instead of Spencer and she liked it.

Spencer stood up allowing the covers to drop and rushed to her closet, Ashley stood too. A bag came flying out and landed on the floor, Spencer then followed suit with an armful of clothes, "You should bring that wind breaker I bought you." She spoke folding cloths into the bag.

Ashley pressed her lips together, "My wind breaker...something tells me your stalling. Nice tactic but it stopped working when we became more than friends."

"Stalling...I'm not," Spencer stopped packing when Ashley pulled the bag away. Their fingers intertwined and eyes meet.

"I'm not going to ask again. Tell me or I walk?" It was a drastic measure and she was worried about pulling it but she felt like she had no other choice. Spencer stared at the ground not moving, "Fine..." Hesitating for a second Ashley finally headed toward the door.

"Wait!" Spencer ran up and spun Ashley back to her, the brunette brushed tears away from Spencer's cheeks.

"You can tell me anything." Ashley smiled and the two sat down on the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

"All I remember is loud banging...bullets...I saw people falling and then you." Spencer tightened her grip on Ashley's hand, and then stood up, "So why don't we go to the beach?"

"Spencer..." Ashley pulled her back down on the bed.

"You died, okay...I held you in my arms and you died. I spent hours covered in yours and Clay's blood on my dress and it was my fault."

"How could it be your fault?"

"Aiden said he loved you and things just got out of hand, you two ran after me as I headed for the parking lot...I held you in my arms." Spencer began to tear again which she thought was impossible, Ashley laid her hand on Spencer's cheek and using her thumb wiped away her tears.

Ashley held her girlfriend again, "It was just a dream Spence...none of that happened." She tried to sooth.

"But..."

"Would it help if we all just got away like you wanted; the beach as you said?" Ashley asked just wanting to put the images Spencer brought up out of her mind.

"Please..." Spencer folded her hands in front of her and pouted.

**A Couple Hours Later**

Clay didn't know how Ashley talked him into this little vacation; he had his back pack filled and lying next to his door. Chelsea walked in with her hand bag over her shoulder, "She got you too I see."

"Yeah." Chelsea sat on the edge of Clay's bed, "Do you know what it's about?"

"No, Spencer and Ashley have been in her room since last night. No one has said anything to me; I'll be surprised if she can actually get my sister out of the house let alone dressed."

"I don't know Clay, Ashley can usually get Spencer to do anything." Chelsea smiled coming in a little closer, "Just like I can."

"Really, you can make me do anything?" Clay wondered taking his girlfriend's offer and moved in closer. Chelsea changed positions just as he went in for the kiss and he fell onto the bed.

"Did I make my point yet?" She asked acting all sweet and innocent.

"Come on." Glen pushed the door open further, "Their waiting."

"Spencer's really down there." Clay pointed to the other side of Glen.

"Yeah, holding Ashley's hand and totally rubbing it in mom's face." Glen rolled his eyes and rushed back downstairs with Chelsea and Clay right behind him.

Sure enough Spencer was downstairs pretty much hovering over Ashley, where ever the brunette went the blonde was sure to follow. Clay knew he would be annoyed if Chelsea hung on his arm like that, at first it would be okay. He would play the hero, coming to her rescue but after a while even he, the good boy wouldn't be able to handle it but Clay could see Ashley was loving it. The way Spencer made sure she was close enough to stay in body contact whether it was holding hands or sitting close enough so their legs bumped.

"You guys ready?" Ashley asked once everyone was downstairs, Spencer had yet to say a word to anyone else. Whispering in Ashley's ear when ever she needed something.

"Yep..." The group said in unison and headed out the door, Madison was waiting in the drive way.

"I'm with you." Glen grinned and hopped into Madison's car.

"We have to run by my house and pick up Kyla, Aiden's going to meet us there." Ashley slid into the driver side while Chelsea and Clay got in the back of Madison's car and Spencer sat up front in the passenger side of Ashley's convertible.

"We'll met you at the beach." Glen yelled after rolling down his window, "Can't wait for the surf." Then Madison drove off.

"You okay?" Ashley asked as she stopped at a red light about half a block from her house. Spencer was still pretty quiet, staring out the window and Ashley could swear she was shaking.

Spencer nodded but said nothing, her stomach was in knots. Being so close to someone who died, will die...did die, she shook her head trying to put the thought behind her. Ashley was being so nice, coming over and staying the night. Taking her to the beach and not freaking out like Spencer thought she would. She twisted her body so she faced her girlfriend, "You know I love you right?"

Ashley raised her eyebrows and stared at Spencer before putting the gas on and continued driving, "Yes."

"Do you...I mean really...do you love me?" Spencer asked the question that burned in her gut since that night she heard Ashley say it was her choice, but was it her or Aiden the gun fire interrupted that answer. Sure she knew Aiden had chosen Kyla and apologized to her for causing so much trouble at prom but what was Ashley's answer, did she still love Aiden like that or was it all about Spencer or was she just not ready to settle down with one person.

Ashley slowed down and pulled over parking near the curb, turning she matched Spencer's position and grabbed the blonde's hands, "Spencer I love you more than anything. Why would you ask that, have I done something that told you other wise?"

"No...Yes. It's just, at prom..."

"Which hasn't happened yet." Ashley reminded her.

"Right, no...I know Aiden chose Kyla after wards but you...you didn't get to answer my question."

"What question?"

"Chose?" Spencer was looking down at Ashley's hands holding hers. She didn't know what Ashley was going to say which scared her beyond words, her throat caught and her breathing became more shallow. Then she heard it, the noise that made tears catch in her eyes. Ashley was laughing, not a loud hilarious laugh just a small giggle but it was enough to send shivers down Spencer's spine.

"Spencer it's no choice," Ashley made her girlfriend look at her. Tears had begun to fall again and Ashley only wiped them away, "You make me feel happy. You care about me when no one else did, sure Aiden's my friend and I don't want to lose him but he can't give me what you can."

"What's that?" Spencer finally choked out.

"Love...happiness...your soul and heart, you have this way about you that just makes me feel good and I never had that with anyone else. Do you understand Spencer, it's you...it's all ways been you."

Ashley leaned closer and kissed Spencer who was so shocked by the action she tried to pull away but Ashley didn't let her. Spencer's lips were soft, parting her lips with her tongue she slipped it in to Spencer's mouth and was met with Spencer's own hot tongue. The two stayed like this forever it seemed, Spencer couldn't breath, the air catching in her throat with no where to go. Finally she pulled away and took a deep breath, her body trembling with fear and wanting.

"Are you okay?" Ashley asked again.

Spencer stared at the other girl for a moment and for the first time since moving to LA, since the shooting she knew the answer, "I'm okay." She smiled before kissing Ashley again.


	5. Chapter 5

The car pulled into the beach parking lot, sun high and hot. A lot of people were down at the shore, lucky for Spencer, Kyla and Ashley the others went on ahead. Hopefully they had gotten a spot before it got to crowded. When they showed up Kyla had a feeling something went down, both had red puffy eyes from crying but she didn't want to ask.

"Man am I hungry?" Kyla rubbed her bare stomach, she had on shorts and her bikini top and several guys were all ready checking the three women out as they headed on to the sand.

"Me too." Spencer finally spoke to some one other than her girlfriend; her voice was shaky and sore. Her stomach growled, the last thing she remembered having was dinner before prom than a couple drinks of punch while at prom than nothing.

"There's the guys," Ashley waved toward their group of friends. They had all ready laid several blankets on the sand proclaiming this there spot, "Hey."

"You have got to hit the water." Glen ran up shaking his head causing sea water to splash over everyone.

"Watch it will ya." Aiden said, he was laying back with his arms behind his head soaking up the sun.

"Did I get poor Aiden and his little sun tan." Glen mocked in a child like voice, getting the reaction he wanted as the two boys ran for the water.

Spencer sat quietly on her towel she laid out, she watched everyone talking and laughing wishing she never saw the things she did. Wishing she could be there with them, oblivious to what was to come, _only if I let it happen_ she thought. Trying to come up with an idea of how to skip prom. Ashley and the rest were in the water by now but Spencer felt like watching, not sure how to join in on the fun even if she had done it a thousand times before.

"Come on!" Clay yelled up to her, this caused the rest of the gang to look her way. Shaking her head and using her hands to motion no. Ashley and Aiden slowly made their way out of the water and ran up to her. Grabbed her arms and yanked her to her feet.

"Noooooo." She called out but it was too late, neither one let go, the water crashed over her head. Salt water entered her mouth and nose, for a moment she didn't think she'd come back up. The waves rolled over her body like a force no one knew, warm soft hands reached under and pulled her up. Blinking her blurry eyes that stared toward the sun she saw Ashley with a giant smile, the teenager came forward and kissed her, Spencer could taste salt water and the soda pop Ashley had drank, her suntan lotion covered Spencer in a sweet aroma than before she wanted it to it was over and Ashley shoved her backwards into an oncoming wave.

"Spencer..." Glen yelled swimming over, Madison right behind, "Get on Aiden's shoulders."

"Why?" she asked glancing back and forth.

"Chick fight!" Glen smiled.

"What ever," she pushed him away.

"Come on...you against Madison, what do you say?"

"Can't pass that up Spence." Ashley pushed her teasingly.

"Than you do it."

"No offence but your lighter." Glen made sure not to meet Ashley's gaze which he was sure she directed at him.

"Fine...I came here to have fun right?"

"Right," Aiden agreed while Ashley helped her up on his shoulders than went to help Madison. Kyla watched from near Chelsea, the two were talking and swimming they never really were around each other enough to become good friends but now they agreed it was a mistake and decided to meet for lunch tomorrow.

"Mind your hands," Madison quipped as Ashley touched her ass to help her up.

"Trust me when I say you're not cute enough to hold my attention." Ashley glanced over Glen's shoulder at Spencer who was screaming at Chelsea and Clay to stop splashing her and Aiden

"Get your mind in a room and shut the door." Madison joked now on top of Glen's shoulders.

"Maybe later." Ashley raised her eyes brows in suggestion just to make the other teen tense a little in discomfort.

"You girls done discussing my sister?" Glen asked totally freaked out, he didn't like his sister being a lesbian but he was trying to be cool and having Ashley talk about her like a guy would was just disturbing.

"For now." Ashley pushed him toward Aiden and Spencer; he all most lost his balance but at the last moment caught his footing. For an hour the gang cheered, first for one team than the other, not wanting to play favorites. Madison finally knocked Spencer over in the water, they all laughed again.

Spencer ran back to the blankets, wind swept by causing her to shiver. Ashley was right behind, "Cold?" she asked.

"Yeah," Spencer answered with chattering teeth. Ashley grabbed her jacket and helped her girlfriend slip it on.

"I love it when you wear my cloths." Ashley pushed wet hair out of Spencer's face.

"Stop it," Spencer pulled away which caused Ashley to get confused.

"What?"

"Can you for one minute not be nice to me," That threw Ashley off even more, "I mean...I love it when your nice." Spencer began to blush, Ashley loved that. The shyness, tenderness and the small tremble in Spencer's voice, the red in her cheeks when Ashley suggests something not quite meant for other's ears. Everything about Spencer, the way she'd dart glances toward her girlfriend not knowing that Ashley knew every time, the way her eyes moved away when Ashley turned to look.

"I would hope you like it when I'm nice but I don't know maybe it'll be fun to play the bad girl." Ashley wiggled her eyes brows making Spencer blush even harder.

"You're all ready the bad girl,"

"Why thank you." Ashley did her self assured smile that made Spencer's heart beat faster. Seeing this heading someone that neither girl was willing to share with the rest of the world, "Do you wanna go back to my place?"

"What'd you have in mind?" Spencer asked, positioning herself so she was all most nose to nose with the other teen.

"You'll just have to wait and see." Ashley stood up.

"I like a good mystery." Spencer let Ashley help her up.

"Than you'll love this," Ashley kissed her on the cheek, "We're going!" she yelled to her friends who came rushing back up to where they were.

"Where?" Kyla wondered, her and Aiden slipped off for a while to do who knows what behind the rocks.

"Our house, so..." Ashley trailed off. Kyla just waved saying I won't be home tonight either. The two lovers ran back to Ashley's convertible and drove away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for all your reviews, keep them coming and i think i've decided to keep this coming some what beyond prom so look for more chapters.**

The sun began to set as they drove up to Ashley's mansion, hearts beating as one they exited the car and ran up the drive way. Ashley spun Spencer in front of her and pressed the girl up against the door, lips touching and eyes closed she fumbled with her keys. One hand ran up her girlfriend's back while the other finally found the lock, the door flew open and both of them stumbled into the house but Ashley managed to shut the door as the two slammed into the wall. Heat poured off Spencer's hands as they caressed Ashley's back, as one they traveled up the stairs.

Into Ashley's bedroom, as they passed the couch both took their shirts off, now they moved toward the bed. Spencer's heels hit Ashley's backpack which was thrown there after school yesterday. The girls fell toward the floor but neither let go.

"Owww," Spencer tried to say with out laughing but it failed, her head had slightly hit the carpet than Ashley fell on top of her. Soon Ashley was laughing too, no one moving to get up, "Since when do you leave your back pack in the middle of the floor?"

"Since my girlfriend wakes me up in the morning by screaming," Ashley held herself just far enough away so she could see the blonde's eyes, "Then ran out on me. Let's say I wasn't thinking."

"And that's new." Spencer tried to slid out from underneath but Ashley pulled her back, she all ways thought going to the gym was a waste of time but the added muscle really helped when she wanted to get something from Spencer.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ashley leaned in closer.

"To the bed..." Spencer tried again but Ashley held her down, soon her arms were pinned above her head and she couldn't move at all. Ashley shoved her leg in between Spencer's.

"I don't know the floor seems pretty good to me." Ashley kissed Spencer on the neck, on each side of her mouth till contact, a deep hard lip lock that pushed Spencer, if it were possible, further into the carpet.

"Ashley..." Spencer tried to say between kisses. Finally she gave up and went along with what ever the girl above her wanted.

**The Next Day**

"Spencer come on, get up all ready." Ashley tossed a pillow at her sleeping girlfriend; school was going to start in an hour.

"A few more minutes mom..." Spencer moaned throwing the covers over her head.

Ashley had to get her up some how, school wasn't that big of a deal to her but she knew Spencer wouldn't let her forget it if she let her skip. Laying her jacket on the back of the couch she ran and pounced on top of the covers, "I'm not mom!" she threw the covers off Spencer's head, "Cause that would be like incest or something." Ashley held the covers down even though her girlfriend tried to pull them back up, using one hand she began to tickle Spencer's stomach which was bare because her night shirt had ridden up some during the night.

"Stop it...all right I'll get up!" Spencer screamed between laughs. Kissing Ashley on the cheek she made her way to the bathroom and took a quick shower.

"Hey Ashley," Kyla knocked on the door, making sure to be heard. She didn't want a repeat on busting in on the two love birds and getting her sister mad at her because she really needed a ride to school.

"What's up?" Ashley asked getting off the bed and grabbing her coat.

"Can you give me a lift to school, Aiden has to drive his mom to the airport?" she pouted. The two girls had been getting along lately even if Ashley still made a quip or two toward her but she wasn't worried because she could hold her own.

"Sure, Spencer's all most ready and then will leave."

"Really...I mean great, I'll go grab my books." Kyla turned to leave, "Wait...Spencer's not ready to go but you are?"

"What can I say I roughed her up last night." Ashley smiled mischievously.

"Ew, I did not need to know that." Kyla scrunched her nose up and ran out of the room.

Ashley sighed, she loved getting under people's skin. It was a gift. Not a whole lot of people liked her or more to the point that she was a lesbian but laughing it off was a talent she had perfected over the years.

"How do I look?" Spencer asked rounding the corner of the door, catching Ashley's attention from the mirror. The blonde wore Ashley's cloths because she hadn't brought any cloths over to Ashley's house.

"Since when did you need my opinion on what you wear?" Ashley grabbed her books, put her arm through Spencer's and the two began walking down the stairs. Ashley knew Spencer was insecure at times wearing her cloths, it showed off more than she wanted but if she could just distract her until they were in the car and driving than Spencer would have no choice but to wear it during the day.

"Okay now you're acting weird because I all ways ask your opinion, which why do I do that anyway?" Spencer raised her eye brows and stared off into space.

"You know I have good fashion sense and you my dear are still learning." Ashley and Spencer hoped into her convertible, she started it up and prayed that her girlfriend didn't realize she was still in the outfit that made her uncomfortable but Ashley thought she looked really hot in, the music blared just as it hit her that her wanting Spencer to wear the outfit was more for her than the blonde. She all most felt guilty but than remembered Spencer had her wearing some outfits earlier that wasn't quiet up to Ashley Davies standards and decided not to say anything.

"Hey I have fashion sense just cause I don't show certain things doesn't..." Spencer gasped and directed her gaze at her girlfriend, "I can't believe you!"

"What?"

"You totally kept me talking so I wouldn't change."

Ashley smiled; it was cute when the other teen realized her schemes but she was picking up on them a little to fast now a days but the brunette thought it was cool because it made her have to search her imagination to come up with different things, "Got me."

**Lunch**

Aiden sat with his head down on his backpack, kids passing by oblivious to the once lead basketball star. Madison and her new crew skipped by, she gave him a side line smile without anyone knowing, probably never told her crew about the day at the beach. Aiden wasn't surprised the queen teen found a new posse to hang with; she needed to be center of attention at all times.

"Hey," Kyla sat down next to him. She had a great time at the beach and was sure he did, but he had been else where in his mind or just blowing her off when she asked if he wants to go out.

His answer was sort of muffled as his head was in his backpack, they sat in silence for a while before he glanced up at her, "Didn't you have rehearsal today?"

"Oh, it was cancelled. The teacher is sick and the school doesn't want students in the theater without one so..."

"Did you want to hit the movies tonight?" He asked.

"You and me, sure you don't want to invite any one else?"

"And that means?"

"Nothing, yeah I'd love to. Look I'm going to the library for some needed study time so I'll see you later." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek than bounded off. He saw Ashley and Spencer heading his way, he was struggling with the answer should he stay or go. Spencer was two timing him, first asking him to stay away from Ashley than asking him to the beach with the two of them. Finally he decided it might be good to just leave, grabbing his backpack he nodded to them and left.

"Okay what is up with him, every time I come near him he takes off." Ashley growled sitting down at the table where Aiden had been sitting moments earlier.

Spencer gulped, did she all ready tell him to stay way, which was one of the reasons, she didn't want to think about it, "I...um, catch up to you later."

"Wait where are you going?" Ashley grabbed her arm, not hard just hard enough to keep the girl from running off.

"I just remembered I have to talk to someone..."

"Oh, who?"

"Does it matter?" Spencer shot out harshly causing Ashley to pull back slightly, "I'm sorry."

"I'm usually the one changing moods so fast but man girl you've got me beat these past few days." Ashley smiled only she was really worried. A scuffle behind them made them look; Glen and Sean were fighting with a couple other people.

"What's going on?" Spencer asked taking a few steps toward her brother, Ashley right beside her, both girls wondering what the big deal was that guys had to fight ever second.

"It's your brother." Ashley shrugged, Glen was getting into scrapes here and there it didn't matter what the reason, "But look their retreating." She pointed to the other kids running off.

Spencer's throat caught, the car they fled to was the same as the one on prom. Her hands started sweating and she felt her body tremble in fear. She had pretty much forgotten all about it the last three days but now here they were, running off campus just so they could return and...and. Her breath became more rapid and some where deep inside she sensed she was screaming but it was so far away just like that night, she couldn't scream, couldn't move.

"Spencer lets go...Spencer!" Ashley's voice was in her head but she wasn't sure if it was real, Ashley touched her shoulder but she couldn't move. Her eyes were glued to the car speeding out of the parking lot; tears streamed down her face, her knees went weak and hit the pavement hard, "Spencer!"

"They...the car...LOOK OUT!" Spencer began screaming trying to tell the other students to duck, in her mind she saw the bullets, heard the cries for help. She knew her girlfriend was next to her and now Glen was too along with Sean but she also saw them dropping to the ground, shot. Blood began to flow every where, she looked down and there was blood on her hands. She was wearing her prom dress.

"Spencer calm down!" Glen called out but she didn't listen, the guns were so loud. All the students were looking on, Clay, Chelsea, Aiden all showed up to help carry her away. Her eyes hit Ashley's and then went dark and she dropped into Ashley's arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Light drifted in and out of Spencer's eyes, she tried to close them put something wouldn't let her than the pressure was gone and she was in the dark once again. Pain in her shoulder made it impossible to move, her throat was sore and dry. 

"Miss. Carlin can you hear me?" A male voice spoke softly. _Am I in the nurses office, the car...I saw it, everyone was looking at me._

"Spencer?" Paula whispered in her ear, "Sweetie if you can hear us open your eyes." Her mother's voice was shaking but steady. Slowly Spencer opened her eyes on her own, she was lying in a hospital bed with her mom and dad standing by her side, she could see Glen near the end of the bed over her oxygen mask.

"Oh thank God!" Arthur sighed in relief.

"How are you feeling?" The male doctor asked checking her vital signs.

She tried to talk, force the words from her head to her mouth but no sound came out. Eyes darting back and forth trying to understand what was going on. Swallowing was hard but she managed to wet her throat, the word she meant to say was Ashley but it came out one long hoarse croak.

"You shouldn't try to talk right now, we have you heavily medicated." The doctor assured her parents that she was fine; the bullet hit no major artery in the shoulder and that she only had physical therapy to help regain the movement in her arm but other than that she was great.

"We'll see you later sis." Glen squeezed her toes not wanting to actually go up to her, the IV's and oxygen mask was making him sick to his stomach. She looked pale and small compared to the girl he went to prom with who was lively and tall.

The doctor raised her bed so she was half way up so she could see around her room before leaving her alone. Empty, that was this place. Sterile instruments and clean sheets, silence. Her eyes though tired stared from one part of the room to the next, searching for an answer as to what was going on. When did she get shot, at prom...but that hadn't happened yet or did it and she was dreaming. Was Ashley all right, and where was Clay only Glen was there in the room with her. When her eyes got to the door she saw a figure, a girl taking small steps toward her. Spencer couldn't make her out, her eyes still slightly blurry. Soon the girl was above her, the light from the overhead lamp casting her shadow upon Spencer and it reminded her of the day at the beach, the water crashing over her and Ashley pulling her up. For a minute Spencer thought she could still taste the soda from her girlfriend's lips.

"Spencer..." the teen said, her voice was low and it took a minute for her to figure out who it was, "I thought you had..." she trailed of again, slipping her hand into Spencer's now she knew for sure who it was.

Her lips parted to say the word but still she couldn't speak but her mind screamed it over and over again, _Ashley you're alive...I love you...I can't believe you're here._ Ashley pushed loose strands of Spencer's hair away from her tired eyes.

"I'm so sorry Spencer, it's all my fault..." Ashley cried, tears streamed down her face. She was no longer wearing the white gown from prom, instead she had on one of Spencer's shirts she left over at Ashley's house and some jeans, "I don't know what to say or how to make this better for you. I froze Spence, when Aiden told me that he still loved me I just froze. It wasn't suppose to happen like this, prom was going to be our night." Her voice shook but Spencer could tell she was trying not to break down.

"Ashley..." Spencer managed to choke out before her voice was lost again.

"I told you I didn't want to hurt you and now look..." she motioned to the bed Spencer was laying in, "God I don't know...I just don't know." Ashley shook her head, she'd been waiting in the hospital for days waiting for her girlfriend to wake up. Paula being the bitch she was told the doctor's not to let her in and it took Arthur days to wear her down but when it came time to go in her stomach bunched up and her brain shut down.

"My f-f-fault." Spencer stuttered.

Ashley shook her head violently, "No...God no, it wasn't your fault. I mean telling Aiden to stay away from me might not have been..." Ashley caught herself and decided not to go down that path, "It's not your fault Spencer and don't ever think that."

_Are you breaking up with, this can't be happening...I thought you loved me, it wasn't a hard choice it was me._ The blonde kept thinking while staring at her lover and trying her hardest to tell her what she was thinking.

"I spoke with your dad he said Clay will be okay, a bullet hit his arm but mostly a flesh wound and I talked with Aiden..." Ashley turned her gaze from Spencer, she looked so different than Ashley remembered, smaller somehow, "Him and Kyla are okay...I guess, they've decided to take it slow. Be friends first. Will see how long that lasts." She joked, laughing quietly trying to break the silence that Spencer couldn't. She stood up and paced back and forth.

"You asked me to chose back there..." Ashley began talking as she paced, "Now let me explain my answer before you going screaming at me." She smiled knowing Spencer was speechless right now.

_Ashley no, I can't live without you...please you can't do this to me!_ Spencer screamed in her mind. Tears flowed down her face but with her being so tired and medicated she had no control over it.

Ashley saw and rushed over wiping the tears away, "Spencer don't cry." She licked her lips and held her girlfriends hand trying to find a way to tell her, "I love you and that will never change, I actually have been thinking about you and me for a while."

_No please, I don't want to hear this,_ but she was bound to the bed.

"I mean your going to go off to college after next year and me...you know I'm not cut out for that life. So I was thinking...since you can't talk its probably not something I should bring up especially after everything not just the shooting but with your parents and are get away to the hotel..."

If it were possible Spencer thought her heart spilt in half, right down the middle causing pain like she never felt except when she thought her mom could actually keep her away from Ashley. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, she wanted to stop show Ashley it didn't hurt. The brunette turned her back on her for a minute before spinning back around.

"Spencer Carlin I want us to...will you marry me?" She asked slipping a fake plastic ring on to Spencer's finger. Closing her eyes she wondered if this was true, but she still felt the ring, "I know you can't answer but I can't stand the thought of you with some one else and I'll follow you to college, my trust fund and your brains. We'll live near a beach, I know how much you like the waves. You don't have to answer now, obviously and I'll respect any decision you make." Ashley said all in one breath scared to death of the answer and the reaction of Spencer's family.

"Ash..."

"Spencer don't say anything right now..."

"Yes..." Spencer groaned in pain, her chest hurt slightly from all the silent crying to had been doing.

"Yes...really, are you sure because you can take all the time in..." Ashley trailed off when Spencer moved her hand to hers.

"Yes." Her vocabulary was small right now but the word held everything she needed to say at the moment. Ashley no longer able to hold it together any longer began to cry along with her new fiancée.

"I know the ring isn't much, I was going to ask in the summer but when the gun went off...I hope the cracker jack ring will do till I make it to the shop." Ashley said between sobs and Spencer only nodded. Ashley leaned down and kissed her fiancée on the forehead, "So when do we tell the rents?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Two Months Later**

"Where are you going?" Kyla wondered coming out of the kitchen, her and Aiden hadn't seen much of each other since prom except around school but still only the occasional hi and every time she saw her sister together with Spencer, she was happy, but she felt a pain at the bottom of her heart.

"Spencer is going in for her therapy," Ashley put her sunglasses on.

"Right and you've promised to be there every time." Kyla rolled her eyes with out her sister seeing.

"Haven't missed one."

"You tell her parents yet?"

Ashley stopped heading toward the door, "No...We're just..."

"Just waiting for the perfect moment, I get it." Kyla flopped down on the couch with her soda, flipped on the TV and searched for a movie.

Ashley sighed, removed her glasses and sat down, "Things still bad with Aiden?"

"We haven't really talked, I know I should probably move on but..." Kyla sat the soda down, she really missed talking with him and rehearsing her plays with him. Her heart beat faster every time Aiden passed but her mind shut down.

"He's cute and gets you." Ashley swooned as if she was still in to him causing Kyla to smile.

"Yeah, he was the only one who would let me practice my lines with."

"I still don't know how you managed that one," Ashley smirked remembering all the times she got Aiden to do something, he was so easy to manipulate but she didn't want to tell Kyla that.

"What's that?" Kyla asked as she heard the wedding song start playing. Ashley dug in her purse to pull out her cell phone, "Okay I can see Spencer using that ring tone..."

"Who do you think programmed it, at least its only when she calls...Hello," Ashley turned away from Kyla, "Spencer slow down...yeah I'll be right there."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing she just got excited about our road trip, lately she's been so jumpy." Ashley stood up and yanked her skirt down to make sure there were no wrinkles.

"Does that bug you?"

"What?"

"Her being so jumpy as you put it."

"It would if she didn't give me my space but its not like she calls every second or needs to hang on me, which is cool but why don't you worry about getting Aiden back and not me and my little jumping bean." Ashley smirked and walked out the door.

**Carlin Family Home**

Paula laid the brochure down, the minute the divorce papers arrived and were signed her and Ben were going on a vacation, get away from the stress of everything that had been going on. Arthur came in the back door and she quickly hid the brochure, "Hey your home early."

"You too..." He opened the refrigerator, "The office was slow today so I decided to take the rest of the afternoon off."

"Yeah the hospital was slow too," She stared down at the counter before walking off without another word. Into the living room where the mail lay on the coffee table, thumbing through it she found what she was searching for. Walking back into the kitchen she found her husband sitting down to eat a sandwich. Paula laid the large brown envelope on the table and slid it over to him than walked away again.

**Chelsea's Art Room**

Clay handed his girlfriend a can of red paint, she was working on her project for an art festival coming up in October. She was so beautiful, he couldn't help but look at her while she worked.

"Are you checking me out?" Chelsea laid her paint brush down, stepped off the ladder so she was some what eye to eye with the one person she wanted to be with. It had been hard in the beginning but the decision was made, the two of them were going to raise the child, but as for their relationship it was just the same as before. Neither of them knew if they'd get married or move forward but Clay promised to take care of her and the baby even if they didn't end up together.

"Maybe..." Clay tried to play it cool but he still trembled at the sound of her voice, she raised her eye brows and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Just maybe?"

"Well maybe a little more than maybe." He leaned down and kissed her, they bodies swaying together as if they were dancing with silent music that only they could hear.

**Park**

Glen laid down the blanket, he invited Madison on a picnic. Not his usual style but to him Madison wasn't his usual date. She sent shivers down his spine and made his nerves shake but some how he manages to stay semi functional.

"Okay, first dinner on the lake boat and now a picnic in the park, what's going on?" Madison sat down, her new crew ditched her too after prom and Glen was the only one still paying any attention to her.

"Can't a guy do nice things every once in awhile." He pulled out some sandwiches and bags of chips out of the wicker basket.

"Yes but two or more at once, guys aren't that smart so..." Madison took a drink of her soda, Glen had brought her favorite.

"Fine I do have an agenda."

Madison knew he did but hoped he didn't, she set the soda down and glanced at him. His five o clock shadow made him look older and that turned her on, she was never really into high school boys before Glen, Aiden was just a popular thing, "I knew it."

"Not like you think, I got accepted to UCLA. They want me to play ball for them."

"What about your knee?" She wondered.

"Doctor said I should be fine, I told the scout all about it and they say I still got a shot."

"I guess we should celebrate..." Madison bit into a carrot than leaned forward and gave him a kiss.

**Hospital**

Ashley passed a couple of orderlies who definitely needed a cold show, their eyes undressing her as she walked by. She winked at them and blew them a kiss, she loved messing with the young men. Down the corridor and to the left, she'd been here several times since the shooting, Spencer sat in the waiting room thumbing through old magazines, her arm in a sling.

"Hey baby," Ashley sat down next to her, Spencer leaned in for a kiss which freaked a old couple out a few chairs down, "You were just waiting for that weren't you?" She asked once she noticed the couple.

"Oh yeah," Spencer yawned.

"Still not sleeping?"

"No."

"I thought the doctor gave you medicine for that?" Ashley laid her purse in her lap.

"He did but you try sleeping while your arm is throbbing in pain, I swear the only time I actually fall asleep is at your house..." Spencer looked to the floor and blushed.

"Really..."

"Don't even." Spencer shot her a glare.

"Spencer Carlin." A nurse called out, he checked his clipboard as the two girls picked up their purses and followed him in, "Can you stand up on the scale?"

"I don't know why we have to do this every time." Spencer whined, "No way did I gain three pounds. It's all your fault." She turned to the brunette beside her.

"My fault?"

"If you'd stop feeding me all that junk food..."

"I get it for you but you're the one that eats it." Ashley poked her fiancée's stomach, she wished Spencer would let her get a real ring but for now she says the cracker jack ring is better but Ashley knows she'll change her mind soon enough.

"You still have a slight fever but its going down." The nurse interrupted.

"When did you get a fever?" Ashley scrunched up her forehead.

"A couple days ago, its no big deal." The nurse led the two girls down to the physical therapy room. Several other people were there working out, there were bars and bouncing balls and weights. Down about four doors was a pool for those working on leg muscles.

"Hey Spencer," Rob Lewis her trainer greeted her with a hug, "Ashley." He hugged her too, "You ready to get started?" Yawning Spencer nodded, "Still not sleeping. That's not good, I think its time to up your dose."

Rob helped Spencer out of the brace she wore while Ashley sat in a chair on the wall to watch, "So Rob how's Carol?" Ashley asked about his wife.

"Fine, okay Spencer I want you to lift it straight in front of you." Rob stared at her arm, she slowly started moving it up wards. Wincing every time a sharp pain shot down to her fingertips, "Good...have you been working on this?"

"Ashley won't let me skip a minute." Spencer rolled her eyes wishing Ashley would back down some times but than realized she was glad she didn't.

An hour in a half later the therapy was over, half way in Rob gave Spencer a stronger pill than she'd been taking and now she was groggy by the time they were done.

"Timmm gooo hoefs..." Spencer tried to say time to go home.

"I think you should take her home to sleep it off." Rob helped Ashley walk Spencer out to the car.

Once Ashley had buckled her sleeping girlfriend in she turned back around, "Is the fever bad?"

"No, usually with those with injuries are more susceptible to fevers and colds. I wouldn't worry to much about it if I were you." Rob waved good bye as Ashley got in the drivers seat.

"I wove ous," Spencer slurred.

"I wove ous too." Ashley giggled before driving off.


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur drank his third beer waiting for his children to get home, he knew he shouldn't be impaired when he broke the news but the pain was just too much. His mind wondered back to the life they had in Ohio, it wasn't perfect but it worked. Paula still had late nights but made it home for dinner most times, he left work at four so he could help his kids with homework and cook dinner. When did things go wrong, when did the light in their relationship die out?

The front door opened and he heard Glen call out, wishing Paula stuck around instead of packing her stuff to stay with Ben. It wasn't right for him to be the one to tell them, all ready he could hear them yelling at him to fix what he can't, Spencer crying that it was her fault when it wasn't. How can this be happening? Clay came in and asked if anything was wrong, Arthur just smiled and said he needed to talk to him when Glen and Spencer got home. His son nodded than went up stairs to do his homework.

Glen got home around five, Arthur hardly saw him not because Glen didn't stick around down stairs but he was on his ninth drink of the hour. He stumbled around the kitchen probably making a racket but didn't care, the pasta on the stove began to boil over and the sauce was heated. He called his boys down, picked up the phone and dialed Ashley's house.

**Ashley's House**

Ashley sat on the couch reading her history book; the words were boring and barely kept her attention. She had a test coming up in a few days, the last final of the school year and than it would be her, Spencer and the open road for three weeks. At least this time they weren't running away from anything and Ashley made sure to check the trunk for a spare tire just in case.

"Hello...Hey Mr. C, Spencer..." Ashley glanced to her bed; the blonde was wrapped in the covers. She'd tossed and turned until her head was at the foot of the bed and her feet on the pillows, "She's asleep right now...the doctor gave her...yeah okay Mr. C I'll get her home...I'd love to have dinner with you guys...see you in a few." Ashley hung up, the older Carlin sounded funny all most drunk. Ashley signed and packed her history book away, she'd just have Clay help her later tonight, he was really good at tutoring.

Ashley strolled over to the blonde and knelt down on to her knees, "Spencer..."

Spencer moved but barely, she realized the covers were restricting her, "Ash...what time is it?"

"All most five, your dad wants us over for dinner." Ashley tilted her head as Spencer stared at her.

"Both of us, like with my mom there too?"

"I guess. I told him we'd be there in a few." Spencer tried to get out but the covers were being stubborn, she rocked back and forth and dove under them and this way and that till...plop right on the floor.

Laughing she pushed loose strands of hair out of her face, "At least the covers are off." Ashley was laughing along with her, "Bath room." Spencer stood up and swayed for a minute, "I got it. The medicine wore off." She told Ashley who steadied her, which reminded her of the time the blonde got drunk.

"You sure?" Spencer nodded and made Ashley release her arm than made her way to the bathroom.

**Carlin Family Home**

Glen set the table while Clay helped in the kitchen, as he put the last of the silverware down Spencer and Ashley walked in.

"Hey girls!" Arthur said a little too loud as he brought in a tray of pasta.

"Dad are you drunk?" Spencer asked sitting down in her chair.

"I might have had a few drinks but no I'm not drunk," Arthur lied. He had no clue how many drinks he really had from the time Paula gave him the divorce papers till this moment.

"So what was it that you wanted to tell us?" Clay wondered sitting in his chair, Glen sat in his and Ashley sat next to Spencer while Arthur sat at the head of the table.

"Is mom having dinner with us?" Glen asked looking at the empty chair across from his father.

"That is what I wanted to talk to you kids about..." Arthur immediately earned glares from his children and Ashley.

"Where's mom?" Clay choked out.

Arthur took another drink of his scotch, "She's with Ben."

"Why?" Spencer stopped getting pasta to stare at her father, the medicine made her hungrier than usual.

"Your mother and I are getting a divorce..." He trailed off and waited. Waited for the screaming, crying but they was none. Only silence, the teenagers staring at him wide eyed. Maybe everything will be okay; they must have known something was up with all the fights and late nights when Paula didn't come home. Than the calm was gone and fear rushed in.

"You can't get a divorce!" Glen stood up in a huff throwing his twisted napkin on the table.

"It just wasn't working out." He tried to smooth it out.

"We should have never moved," Clay growled thinking of everything his family had been through over the course of the months they'd been in LA. A lot of good things had happened but more bad things to shadow the good.

"Right, if we would have stayed in Ohio you two would still..."

"Have separated..." Arthur interrupted Glen's rant, "Things have been bad for a while but neither of us wanted to accept it."

Ashley sat quietly next to Spencer who had yet to move from her spot, to react in any way. Slowly she reached across and intertwined her fingers with Spencer's. She could tell Arthur kept side glancing his daughter while arguing with his sons, waiting for the outburst and in a weird way Ashley couldn't wait for the out cry of her lover.

"Can't you do something?" Glen yelled along with Clay.

"We have, therapy and weekends away but it..."

"If you tried harder it'd work..." Clay and Glen stormed out of the dinning room and up the stairs.

Arthur sighed and sat down, "How do you feel?" He asked his daughter, the guidance counselor in him wanting to make things okay.

"I'm fine, how bout you?" Spencer tuned with no emotion on her face, she watched her father shake his head, "You're drunk I can tell. Why don't you go up stairs and sleep it off, I'll do the dishes and put the food away." Arthur went to say something but his daughter wouldn't let him, she told him no and to go to bed. He hugged his daughter than turned to Ashley and hugged her too, he felt like she too was his daughter, he cared for her and still didn't understand Paula's hostile reaction over their relationship.

After her father was out of view Spencer began to gather up the plates and silverware, walked into the kitchen and sat them in the sink. Turning she saw Ashley standing in her way back to the dinning room with her arms folded.

"So?" That one word held so much information that Spencer was amazed that her fiancée didn't have to say anything else.

"So nothing and if you're going to block my way can you hand me the rest of the stuff on the table?" Spencer turned back to the sink and began to run the water.

"Don't give me that?" Ashley walked over to her and shut the water off.

"Look I don't want to talk about..." She looked toward the stairs, "Not here okay?"

"You're upset I get it, if you can't share that with me than who can you." Ashley pouted.

"I'm not upset, trust me." Ashley raised her eye brows totally not convinced, "I'm happy okay...ecstatic, I love that they won't be together." Spencer turned away from her.

"That wasn't exactly what I thought you'd say," Ashley licked her lips and breathed out.

"What, you were expecting me to be upset and cry on your shoulder. She hates you, me the you and me relationship. Tried to keep us apart and all most did, the therapy guy, the act of being okay with it...with me. I HATE HER!" Spencer screamed, "It's her fault...all of this. The way my dad feels, he was the only one that cared not only about me but for the person I love."

"Is that how you feel?" Paula asked from her frozen spot near the back door. Her mind blank, in her own way she hoped her children understood and she knew they'd be mad but actually blame her.

"Yes..." Spencer whispered but loud enough for her mother to hear before she took off out of the house.

"Spencer!" Ashley darted after her but by the time she reached outside her fiancée was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Spencer walked down the street, the darkness washing over her. The air was growing chilly even though summer was right around the corner; street lamps were the only light on the road. She didn't know why she ran but that she did, not wanting to deal with her mom probably was a good chunk of that but feeling guilty was the biggest reason, guilty that she was happy her parents were splitting up, guilty that her mom had heard her say so.

"Spencer..." Was that his voice, no it couldn't be. He was back in Ohio, back in her old life. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and she licked her lips which suddenly felt dry. Turning her mind shut down, it was him. The same brown eyes she'd gotten lost in on the first day of junior high, the same sly smile that made her feel like jelly and although it didn't compare to the way Ashley made her feel or the way she smiled at her, he still held some power over her.

"Cal, hey...what are you doing here?" She asked backing up a few steps, her hands began sweating but she just wiped them on her jeans.

"My dad got offered a new job and so here we are," He closed the gap, every time she took a step he did the same, "So what have you been up to?"

Spencer swallowed, "I-I just been going to school. You?" she twisted the ring on her finger wishing someone would show up.

"I've missed you a lot Spencer," He grabbed her and forcefully kissed her. All the memories of their time together rushed back, the kisses were never great. Rough and hard, forced on her like some wild animal and then the night, in the barn...she'd cried and he only laughed and mocked her.

"Stop..." she pushed him back, "I have some one else in my life."

"Who is this guy?" Cal's voice rose in anger that another guy had taken the only girl he liked.

"Not...not a guy, my girlfriend..." She said, she would have said fiancée but she didn't want him to misinterpret the meaning.

"Yeah right, come on I'll give you a ride home." He threw his hand around her waist, her mind was numb. Cal scared her into doing what he wanted. His car smelled of beer and fast food which made her stomach turn over, "What happened to your arm?" He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, out of the corner of his eye he could see the way she cradled her left arm.

"I was shot...at prom." Those words still caught in her throat but at least no one ever brought the subject up when she was around.

Cal side glanced her, his eyes burning with anger, "Didn't I tell you this would happen. God your parents are such idiots, bring some one like you to this fast pace city."

"Some one like me?" Spencer sat as far into the door as possible, making sure not one inch of her body was close enough for him to interpret that she was still into him.

"Yeah baby, a good girl. Shy and naïve, but that's why you have me...is this your new house?" He turned the car off and stared at the Carlin family home, Spencer saw Ashley's car and thank God she was still here.

"Thank you." Her voice sounded weaker than usual, he unbuckled his seat belt and hopped out of the car along with her, "What are you doing?"

"Saying hi to everyone," He grabbed her hand causing her to flinch, "Chill baby!"

**Inside the Carlin Family Home**

Glen was in the tenth level of his new video game, blowing and killing things up was fun and that was why he had decided to join the military but when UCLA offered him a scholarship and a place on its basketball team the military idea was put in the back seat.

"Yo Glen man!" Glen knew that voice; he paused the game and looked up.

"Cal, no way. When did you get here?" Glen stood and they did the whole man thing by bumping hands and going wild. Like they had to ask everything right then and there or something bad was going to happen.

"Cal?" Clay walked in wiping his hands on a towel, Ashley and him had been doing dishes. The two guys hugged then pulled away quickly.

"Spence..." Ashley came out, "You okay?"

"Yeah..." Spencer pulled away from Cal and rushed over to Ashley and yanked her into a strong kiss. Know one had time to think, the three guys staring on and Ashley was losing her breath so she finally laid her hand on Spencer's shoulder's to push her away.

"Whoa, Spencer...I think I'm going to like the new you!" Cal grinned while running his hand through his thick black hair.

"And you are?" Ashley wondered.

"Cal Ronald, Spencer's boyfriend." Cal sounded so sure of him self and he wasn't about to let anyone take her away.

"Cool, you are definitely the man to get my sister back on the right track." Glen patted his buddy on the shoulder.

"Well I got to go...so I'll see you at school right Spencer?" He asked while walking to the door, "Oh and um...don't tell your parents I'm here. I want to surprise them in a couple days." Then he was gone, Glen and Clay walked him out.

"Boyfriend?" Ashley asked, her mind still trying to come up with how her fiancée came home with an old flame.

Spencer shook her head violently, "No..." but her mouth didn't want to continue explaining, "Can I stay at your house?"

"Well..." Ashley contemplated. She wanted an answer and she knew Spencer knew she didn't like waiting but some thing was off. _I'll probably get more out of her if she stays at my house_, "I guess. You've been over there for the past two days all ready. Why don't you bring some cloths though and your school books."

"Right," Ashley saw that Spencer wouldn't meet her eyes not something the blonde did often, "I'll just..." she trailed off and went up stairs to pack.

**Cal's House**

Cal strolled into his house, threw his backpack down on the floor before grabbing a beer from the fridge. Adjusting his belt and opening the drink he opened a door which he kept locked, inside pictures of him and Spencer lined the walls and tables. Pictures of just Spencer cut up and glued to those with just him so it looked like they were together. Chugging the beer and throwing it in the garbage can he sat at the desk and pulled out a leather bound notebook. The first page held a photo of a couple at their wedding, he'd cut their heads out and replaced it with Spencer's and his.

"Soon..."

**Ashley's House**

"I'll be right back down," Spencer smiled and ran to put her stuff in Ashley's room.

Ashley went to the kitchen, she knew the refrigerator was full because her mom stocked it but never cooked. There wasn't anything she really wanted so she opened the take out drawer and thumbed through several take out menus. Finally she decided on pizza, simple and fast.

"So what now?" Spencer asked sitting on the couch, putting her legs underneath her.

"Boyfriend?" Ashley asked again. She wasn't jealous or she didn't think she was, the thought of some other person holding Spencer in his arms made her flesh begin to crawl.

"Cal...He isn't, I broke up with him about two or three months before coming out here." Spencer pretty much whispered, she didn't want to talk about him but knew she owed it to her.

"Than why does he think your still his girlfriend?" Ashley sat far enough away from the blonde so nothing was touching, telling Spencer she was upset.

"He was...my first time." Spencer looked everywhere but at Ashley, that was one of the reasons she didn't want to tell her first time having sex in the camera Ashley kept pointing at her.

"Oh."

"I...he wasn't very nice to me. But I was a cheerleader and he was a football player," Spencer shrugged her shoulders, "So it just seemed right to be with him."

"What do you mean he wasn't nice to you?" Ashley scooted closer, needing to see the blonde's face.

"Everybody liked him, mom...dad...my brothers. He got good grades and was on the honor roll." Spencer stared into space.

"Spence, what'd you mean he wasn't nice to you?" Ashley scooted closer and made her fiancée look her in her eyes.

"He drank a lot, especially if our team didn't win." Tears slowly ran down her cheeks, "Cal liked the attention and he liked it when I...cried."

"Spence..."

Spencer wiped the tears away and gave a shy laugh, "I don't know why I'm even talking about him when I have the love of my life in front of me."

The door bell rang breaking the small silence that had been building up, "Pizza!" Spencer shot up thankful of the distraction.

Ashley had to giggle when Spencer jumped up so excited and skipped to get the food, "So horror or fantasy?" Ashley called out as she searched the DVD's around the downstairs television; she secretly wanted Spencer to say horror. The blonde hated watching scary movies even though she was the one that usual picked them out. Ashley loved watching the younger girl jump or hides her face when the music began to get higher so you know something bad is coming. Ashley just scooted over, pulled her girlfriend close to her for comfort and Spencer would just hide her face in Ashley's shoulder. "Spencer?" But the blonde didn't answer.

Ashley sighed and went to see what was taking so long, get the pizza...pay and than eat. The door was wide open but Spencer wasn't anywhere, scrunching up her eyebrows she looked out side. A car she didn't recognize was parked right behind her, was that the pizza guy?

"I said no!" Ashley heard Spencer scream, she took off toward the car. Glass shattered making the brunette's breath catch in her throat. _Please don't be hurt...please, please, please._ Spencer was shoved up against the driver side door, Cal positioned himself so one hand was on each side of her blocking any getaway path. He must have gotten mad and smashed the window while trying to trap her.

"What the hell, leave her alone!" Ashley screamed at him pushing him away.

"Get away bitch, she's mine. And no chick is going to change that!" Cal took Spencer by the arm, "Get in!"

Ashley didn't like when any one messed with her baby, she placed her hand around his arm and yanked him off her. He swung around and laid one right across her face, pain raced up her jaw to the middle of her nose. The ground met her with harden arms, the last thing she heard was Spencer screaming her name, the last thing she saw was Cal slamming Spencer into the car and her passing out. Ashley tried to move, tried to help but the sleepiness of the punch rolled over her till she lay unconscious on the pavement.


	11. Chapter 11

Aiden was sick and tired of passing Kyla in the hall, seeing her flirt with other guys and worried that she was getting over him. He'd been pacing in the hallway for who knows how long thinking about everything that had happened. Prom was great up until the shooting, no before that, when he told Ashley he still had feelings for her. Spencer wasn't to keen on that idea, obviously as she ran away from both of them. Ashley and him had talked about what went down while waiting in the hospital, they were good. No hard feelings, friends once more and this time...for the first time he was okay with just being her friend. Spencer however had yet to say a single word to him, Ashley told him that her fiancée said it was okay they were still friends but never would Spencer speak to him. If he joined them at lunch, the blonde just kissed Ashley and left. If he came over to left, no dirty looks, no heated remarks about trying to break them up. Nothing. It was like he didn't exist to her.

"Screw it!" Aiden stopped pacing and picked up his keys. No more wasting time, no more wishing and dreaming. He was going to Ashley's house to get Kyla and wasn't going to back down until she told him that one, she didn't love him or two, she did.

**Ashley's House**

Kyla walked out of her room, she was starving and knew that her sister probably had some sort of fast food downstairs because Spencer was over and neither wanted to cook for it would take to much time away from each other. Her stomach growled making her feet pound faster down the stairs, _why is the door open?_ Outside the air grew chilly but it was silent, _maybe Ashley just forgot to close the door?_ Kyla sighed but before she closed the door she heard a small moan.

"Anyone out there?" She waited patiently, eyes squinting into the blackness of the night. A shadow moved, "Hello?"

"Kyla..." She thought she heard her name being whispered; gripping the frame of the door she stepped further outside. Now she was sure someone was lying on the ground moving, she ran over and saw Ashley moving to her side. Glass shattered the ground in front of her and blood had dried from the cut on her lips.

"What happened?" Kyla asked dropping to her knees to help her sister.

Ashley closed her eyes and took a deep breath unsure if her voice would work, "Where's Spencer?" she frantically looked around as Kyla helped her up.

"I don't know."

"Hey what's going on?" Aiden called jumping out of his car and rushing over.

"He got Spencer," Ashley leaned on her friends.

"Who?" Aiden brushed hair out of her face.

"Cal..." a piece of paper fell out of her pocket as the threesome headed back inside.

"What?" Kyla leaned down, the paper seemed to be yanked out of a notebook and the lettering was shaky and all most unreadable.

"What does it say?" Aiden wondered putting his feelings aside to find out who Cal was and why the hell he had Spencer and why his best friend was lying on the ground bleeding.

"Dear Ashley,

If you want to find your sweet heart than come to the old dinner. You know which one I'm talking about. If you call the police she's dead, you bring anyone with you and you'll never see her again. Once at the dinner there'll be another note, until then me and my girlfriend want to thank you for playing."

"Okaaaay!" Kyla rolled her eyes, "This guy is creepy."

Ashley finally found her strength and rushed up the stairs, the other two close behind. She had to hurry before that man did anything to Spencer. She should have known, it should have been her who answered the door. She had to stop thinking of all the things that could be happening, she also knew if she was going to kick this guys ass than she need to change. Rushing into her closet she quickly removed the skirt and put jeans on, then removed the blouse and put on a black tank top that showed off her muscles.

"You're not actually going out there alone are you?" Aiden asked standing up against the wall with his arms crossed.

"You got a better idea?" Ashley grabbed her jacket.

"I agree with Aiden, maybe we should call the cops." Kyla watched her sister frantically search around the room.

"He said he'd kill her...where the hell are my keys...don't just stand there help!" Ashley screamed at them, the other two started searching the rest of the house.

"But he won't know if we called them," Kyla approached her sister and handed her the keys she'd found on the kitchen counter.

"He wants me and sure as hell he's going to get me." Ashley tightened her grip on the keys, ran downstairs while Aiden and her tried to talk her out of it. But everyone knows you can't talk Ashley Davies out of anything and you don't mess with Ashley's friends, family and especially not Spencer, because that was Ashley's baby. The one she kept from getting hurt, the one she took care of and in return Spencer gave her something no one else did, unconditional love. The car started and she was gone.

"Now what?" Aiden threw his arms up in desperation.

"We tell someone?" Kyla tried to say reassuringly but it came out as a question.

Aiden shook his head, brushed hair out of his face and tried to think. The scene happened so fast, he was so intent on telling Kyla his feelings he all most didn't see the two women in the middle of the driveway. His heart pounded so hard, a cold sweat made his cloths stick to him as he turned the car off and ran to their side.

"Come on!" He linked his hand with hers causing shivers to run down his spine, only she could do that. Not even Ashley put that much electricity in his body.

"Where?" Kyla wanted to pull away, his hand was soft yet hard from many basketball practices. His flesh warm to the touch made her own cold hand feel like it was on fire, swallowing she followed him to his car and got in.

"Mr. Carlin will know what to do!"

**Unknown Location**

Pain seemed to burn the back of her head, she was aware of being on the ground but her eyes didn't want to open. She heard water dripping a few feet away, her hand blindly searched the floor beneath her. It was dirty and wet, her hand found its way into something gooey and thick. _I don't even want to know_! She crinkled her nose before pushing herself to her knees. Breathing out slowly she opened her eyes, wherever she was it was dim. Pipes hung above her head, water dripping to the floor mixing with the dirt. Wiping the gunk off her hand she stared at her surroundings.

"Hello?" Her voice was a whisper, the wind had been knocked out of her from being slammed into the car. Eyes blurry she stood in that one spot as if moving would cause further injury. Lifting her left hand to rub the back of her head was a mistake, pain raced from her shoulder to her fingertips. There was no door, no entrance she could visible see. How did she get down here and where was here in the first place. Her feet moved slowly across the cement floor, her shoes were gone so the mud slimmed between her toes. The farthest she could see in the poorly lit room was the back of her hand.

"Owwww!" Spencer fell forward. Her foot slammed into some metal pipe lying on the ground, her toes throbbed as she rocked back and forth. Tears threatened to spill but she held back, there was some one coming for her...she knew this but in the pit of her stomach she didn't think they'd find her.

A television turned on and a figure came on it voice unrecognizable echoed through out the room, "Do you want to play a game?" Spencer had to grin at the thought of Saw running through her mind, silently she cursed Ashley for renting it. In this situation the movie made a lot more sense now than before, she wished she had really watched it instead of hiding her face in the brunette's shoulder.

Her stomach caught and her smile faded, in front of her under the wall a light seem to be turned on. That must be a door, she thought. Foot steps in puddles got louder and louder. The door handle screeched as something turned it, hinges on the metal frame made an unnerving hiss as it swung open. Spencer shielded her eyes as light flooded over her, a figure stood in the door way watching her.

"Glad your awake darling." It was Cal, he stepped in allowing his features to show. A bright smile danced on his lips, "I hope I didn't bang you up to much with the whole shoving you into the car thing. But you need to do as I say, no girl of mine is going to run around all willy nilly."

"Cal, where am I? Where's Ashley?" Spencer called out, scooting back toward the wall.

"Your friend Ashley is fine, you sent her home remember honey. Said you wanted to make a special dinner for our anniversary." Cal held his hand out, Spencer cringed, "Take it!" He insisted.

Spencer reached up and allowed him to help her of the ground, "What anniversary?"

"The anniversary of the day we got married of course," He tried to kiss her but she turned her head, "Waiting for tonight. I get that. I have a dress waiting for you in the bedroom, why don't you go put it on and take a shower. I want you to look your best."


	12. Chapter 12

Ashley drove blindly down the road, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. Her chest hurt from the constant strain of crying, headlights of passing cars glistened in her wet eyes. She should probably put the radio on, some noise to make the thoughts stop. She knew exactly what diner he was talking about, the one the girls had ended up at when they ran away together but how did he know? Had he been watching Spencer for awhile, hiding in bushes and just waiting for his chance. _I knew I should have got in my car and looked for her earlier_.

The diner loomed up ahead, she pulled to the side of the road. Car idling she wondered if she really wanted to get, what if Spencer was dead and her body waiting to be found by her, no Cal was hiding somewhere to kill her or make some stupid demand for money. He has to know she was loaded, if he had been stalking Spencer for a while. Finally she cut the engine and walked to the closed door. A note was nailed to the door with her name on it, licking her lips she ripped it down.

Dear Ashley,

You are my wife's best friend so I want you here for when we renew our vows.

Running her hand through her brown curls she quickly crumbled the paper and threw it at the diner. Turning around she saw Cal standing in front of her car with a gun, he had a smile like he was greeting an old friend.

"Where is she?" Ashley growled ready for a fight.

"She's fine, depressed that her family can't be here for her second big day." Cal sighed.

"Second big day?"

"The first was our wedding, she was so beautiful. The dress flowed down her slender body, oh and when she gave herself to me...she cried she was so happy."

"Bastard," She seethed. Her hand bawling in a fist, "She cried because your a guy. Ugly, rough and in no way do you get her."

"Are you implying something?" Cal asked sincere, what could this teenager possibly be saying.

"I'm implying that you better hand her over before I have a hard time explaining to the cops what happened to your fore mentioned body." Her smile matched his sardonic one.

"I honestly don't see what Spencer sees in you but you're her best friend. It's only appropriate that you be there to congratulate her." He came closer, staring directly in her eyes.

"On what?" Her body ached to hit him but playing it cool would get Spencer back.

"Our child."

Okay, Ashley lost it. No longer was she able to control the anger building up inside. Her fist swung and connected to his jaw, he stumbled back. Surprise etched in his face as blood dripped from his nose. She promised herself more time at the gym when she got home, her fist stung but only for a minute. Cal rushed her, she twisted so he tripped onto the dirt ground. Straddling him so he couldn't move her fist hit him, once...twice...three...four, blood flew in several directions. Fear and rage equally taking the lead in the fight.

Cal took the butt of the gun and slammed Ashley in the gut, stumbling back in severe pain but she wasn't going to give in this time. Swinging around she side swiped him with her boot across his face, a few punches to the gut and a real nice blow to the groin sent him slamming into the trash cans outside the diner. Ashley found the gun he had dropped, picked it up and pointed.

"Take me to her!" She demanded, eyes fixed on him like a wild dog. Cal stood up and wiped the blood from his lips and laughed, a sick jab to the gut laugh.

"Why don't you lower the gun and I'll take you to her." He wasn't pleading, wasn't scared. Just happy. Boy this guy is wacko.

"How bout I don't and you take me to her." Ashley felt like just shooting him, but that would only make her feel better for a second and Spencer still would be missing.

Cal strolled over to her, slightly hunched from all the blows to the stomach. So close to her, hands shaking she could only watch. His eyes bore into hers as he stood toe to toe with her, a grin plastered to his face, "Did you really think I brought a loaded gun?"

Her eyes drifted from the gun to him, was he lying or telling the truth. His face held no answer, swallowing she cocked the hammer back as he reached out. Pursing his lips he nodded his head, smoothed out his shirt and moved a few steps back.

"Go ahead." Cal demanded. Was she really ready to be a killer? Take a human life for Spencer, for her, for their safety? The answer was yes, she was willing and ready but would Spencer forgive her for it. Would the blonde see the very thing people had been trying to tell her that hid beneath Ashley's surface?

**BANG!**

Cal looked down at his chest than back up at Ashley, "I didn't think you had it in you. Now I know why my wife likes you." He laughed. The gun did nothing, it wasn't loaded. He told the truth, "Fun's over...Get in!" He demanded the smile gone from his face.

Ashley hesitated for a second before complying, her jacket making her hot, "Where are we going?"

"A small road about three miles from here, there's an abandoned mine behind the house." Cal smiled and shared as if he was giving directions to his house and not some place where he was hiding someone.

Ashley groaned in pain as she got in the car. Cal went and took the note off the door, while he was looking away she quickly took her jacket off and set it under the car. He came back, turned her car on and took off.

**Minutes Later at the Diner**

Mr. Carlin stepped out of his car, Kyla and Aiden right behind him. Once they told him about the diner he knew where to go, he all ways hated Cal from the minute he laid eyes on him and the minute Spencer told him about the beatings, he had the boy arrested.

"Ashley's jacket?" Kyla picked it up worried about her sister and friend.

Mr. Carlin grabbed it from her, it felt heavier than a normal jacket. Digging in the pocket he pulled out a tape recorder and pushed play.

Ashley's voice: Where are we going?

Cal's voice: A small road about three miles from here, there's an abandoned mine behind the house.

"Now what Mr. Carlin?" Aiden asked.

"We call the police."

"But..."

"I know what the note said Kyla, that's why the three of us are going in after them because knowing the LA police department it'll take a couple hours. Come on!" He motioned for the kids to get back in the car, he knew it was dangerous but they were willing and he needed up, they were his daughters and he wasn't going to let anything happen to them. NOT EVER!


	13. Chapter 13

**Unknown Location**

Spencer stepped out of the shower, how long had she been here, a couple hours...a day, no she knew it had to be more on the hour scale but she was knocked out. The room Cal led her to was set up like his parents old bedroom, her mind wondered to the past.

_The two kids sat on the edge of his parent's bed, his eyes running up and down her body while she sat with her hands in her lap. She looked at the carpet instead of his eyes, she knew if she looked at him that she'd allow him to do what ever and that wasn't good._

"_It won't hurt," He said for the hundredth time that day._

"_I don't know Cal, aren't we suppose to be married before?" Spencer shrugged; she'd met Cal Ronald in junior high. He walked right past her, flashing his bright smile. Glen was next to her so Cal stopped to say hi. They'd been together since._

"_You're right," She finally managed to look at him confusion etched in her face. Cal jumped off the bed and walked to his room, she sat there quietly wishing his parents would be home soon. He was all ways pressuring her into things, little at first. Playing doctor, she'd be the patient every time because according to him women can't be doctors. Playing house, that wasn't much fun. They'd stay the night in her tree house, she'd be the mommy and he would be the daddy and they used her favorite doll as their baby. Standing up she walked to the mirror, she was smaller than all the other girls in her class and on the cheerleading squad. Spencer knew the only reason she was chosen was because she was lite enough to be tossed. Her cloths were normal; she just couldn't dress like the other girls. Showing off her stomach and thighs, maybe that's why Cal likes me._

"_Spencer," Cal came back in a few minutes later. She turned to him, his hand behind his back. He got down on one knee, "Spencer Carlin will you marry me?" He asked bringing his hand around from his back. A little black box sat opened in his palm, a small ring with a diamond heart sat in the metal._

"_Is that real?" Spencer gasped._

"_Took all my summer money, and you didn't answer my question." Cal stood up and stared her in the eyes._

"_Well…I…I would love to marry you." Cal jumped in place before slipping the ring on her finger and pulling her in for a hug. She stared at herself in the mirror, Cal's back to it and she couldn't meet her eyes._

**Mine Cave's**

Ashley and Cal walked into the mine behind the old house, her eyes darting back and forth for any sign of Spencer. It was dark and dry and hot.

"Where is she?" She stopped walking to stare at him.

"You don't think I would actually take you to her…awww, you did. That's so cute," Cal leaned against a pillar holding up the entrance of the mine.

"I knew it!" Ashley sighed, "Where is she?" Her heart began breaking, she knew from all the news reports and school projects that if the person wasn't found with in the first few hours than most likely they wouldn't be found.

Cal cocked his head and narrowed his eyes, "The doctor said she shouldn't have visitors right now in the pregnancy but I'll ask her if she wants to see you."

"Pregnancy, you didn't?" Ashley seethed taking a few steps toward him, fist tightening and eyes hardening.

"Since I took her home, no. Spencer is five months along, as her friend you should know that and you should also know about the miscarriage." Cal said his voice dripping with what he thought was total truthfulness.

"Miscarriage?" Ashley had told her girlfriend about her losing a baby, Spencer, if this man was telling the truth, never seemed like she went through it.

"It broke her heart, it was a boy. Did she tell you that?" Ashley shook her head, staring at the ground, "She named it Parker. After my father, said it was the least she could do for me."

"I don't believe you!" She screamed trying to attack him but he pushed her into the wall, pinning her arms to her side.

"I don't care, now you can stay here and wait for me to come back or you can go home and not see Spencer. Your choice." Cal threw her the keys to her car, folded his arms and waited.

Ashley stared at the keys than back at Cal, "I….I'll stay here." She tossed the keys back to him; he let them fall to the ground.

"I hope she wants to see you Ashley, you have guts and that's the kind of person I want my wife to hang out with." Cal winked at her and walked off, into the darkness until she know longer saw his shadow.

She lost it, started tearing the mine apart. Throwing boxes and kicking up dust, tears flowing down her face, lungs burning with lack of oxygen. "She's mine!" Ashley screamed into the night air, images of Spencer smiling and laughing in her bedroom ran across Ashley's eyes. She was pounding the wall, lifting her hand to hit it once again but she felt soft skin wrap around her fist. Her eyes drifted up the arm and into Mr. Carlin's eyes.

"Ashley…" His voice soft and caring, her legs went weak and hit the ground. He followed suit, holding her close and rocking her. Aiden and Kyla stood in the entrance watching the scene.

"He has my baby…" Ashley cried into his shoulder, "My baby and I don't know what he's doing to her and…" Her words trailed off, her throat restricted anything more.

Arthur holding tears back himself pulled her away from him so he could wipe the tears away, "I know…but we are going to get her back. I will get her back to you." He promised.

"Mr. C…she's the only one that's ever…"

"No Ashley, you have us…Aiden and Kyla," He wiped more tears away, "You have me and I will not let you give up. The four of us will get Spencer back, do you understand?"

She nodded and smiled. He helped her up and they walked over to the other teens who hugged Ashley. She'd never felt like this before, like she had a family and people who loved her unconditionally. Her mom didn't talk to her and her dad was dead, but that didn't matter anymore because she had them…her new family.

The four of them stood side by side, walking out of the mine. Wind blowing their cloths and hair, smoke flowing from a steam pipe Ashley broke during her rage covered them and Ashley couldn't help but smile, the scene was right out of an action movie Aiden once took her too. She knew everything had to be okay because it was….

**SUPER TEENS AND DAD TO THE RESCUE!**

_A/N: That last comment was for tay0720, those comments really made me smile they were so funny. And thanks for all the reviews…keep it up and I'll keep writing._


	14. Chapter 14

**Unknown Location**

Spencer stared at the mirror, saw herself in the dress Cal choose. Not exactly what she hoped for but it did cover spots better left for only Ashley. Finally she dried her hair and put it up in a pony tail, her eyes locked on the door. Cal brought her here, blind folded of course, but she knew they hadn't gone far and that they went upstairs. Swallowing she laid her hand on the cold door knob, fear caught her as she was sure Cal would be standing right on the other side and do something not quite fun for her because she tried to run away. Gaining her courage she turned the knob and opened the door, Cal wasn't there. Instead it was a hallway, carpeted and nice. Sort of like a house, she stepped out cautiously but quickly stopped as the floor boards creaked underneath her feet. Heart pounding, sweat pouring, heat burning in her stomach, down the stairs she went. Feet moving as slow as possible, eyes searching the rooms she passed, she knew she was in a house but where. The first floor met her faster than she realized since she was moving like a snail.

"Hey hun, done with your shower?" Cal asked from behind, her breath caught once again and she turned to face him.

"Cal..." She was at a loss for words, her mind reeling at what he might possible do because she snuck out of the room, "How'd you get out?" She finally asked him what she wanted the moment she saw him.

"Out?" He asked taking a few steps toward her, wiping his hands on a dish towel.

"Out of the mental hospital."

"Hunny you were the one in the hospital," He lowered his eyes to meet hers.

"Me...no, you." Was all she could manage.

"Don't you remember," Cal spoke running his hand down her cheek, "the car accident...the miscarriage."

"Car accident, miscarriage..." Spencer tried to wrap her head around what he was telling her.

"Yes," He walked her into the living room and sat her down on the couch than sat on the coffee table so he was staring at her, "When you were twelve your family was coming home from vacation up in the mountains when a semi plowed into the car. Everyone was killed."

"No...your lying that never happened!" Spencer's stomach tightened, she felt weird. Her mind was cloudy and her muscles tired, she couldn't focus.

"Shhh, it's all right. You came to stay with my family afterwards and that's when we were married."

"I'm sixteen, I can't be married!"

"My parents were your legal guardians Spencer, they felt it was right and so did you. We were married when we were fourteen. You got pregnant a couple months later and miscarried. That's when you lost it and we had to put you in the hospital." He rubbed her thigh, she stood up shaking her head and wished she hadn't as her stomach tightened even more. A baby's cry echoed through the hallways and her brain.

"Do you hear that?" She asked searching with her eyes.

"Are you hearing the baby again?" He asked all full of concern, "The doctor said you might, I want you to take your medication..." Cal walked to a cabinet and pulled out a medicine bottle.

"NO!" She shouted running for the door, outside the sun shone bright and the sidewalk was slightly hot on her bare feet but she didn't notice as she was staring at the beautiful houses lining the street. Cars parked in all most every driveway, people mowing lawns and watering them. Nothing out of the ordinary, she really thought that when she'd got out it would be a hidden log cabin out in the forest where no one can hear you scream.

"Hey Spencer, I'm glad your back from the hospital." A female spoke, coming up to her. She was pushing a stroller with a toddler sleeping peacefully. When the female noticed that Spencer wasn't going to say anything she continued, "Paul and I were so worried when you relapsed. Cal said it's why you missed the bridge game last week."

Spencer tried to think of something to say, her mind spinning in all different directions, "Do I – I know you?" her lips spoke.

"Kelly Sanchez, we've been friends since you and Cal moved here three years ago." The woman licked her lips and looked her up and down.

"Kelly," Cal called out coming down, "Spence sweetie you remember her don't you?"

Spencer shook her head, she knew a Kelly, the one who hit on her and called her a tease but that wasn't this one.

"Spencer I want you to listen to me carefully. You've been in and out of the LA Tessian Psychiatric Hospital for the past couple months."

"Where's Ashley?" She slightly yelled, both wanting to get the neighbors attention and not wanting the attention.

"She's not real, just an imaginary friend you made up to cope. Your miscarriage was thrown onto her, the wild side of you also on her."

"She's real, I love her!"

"You're not gay, you're my wife. The doctor said you were putting my personality into Ashley as a way to keep me in your life. You took things from around you and created a world where you felt safe."

"Safe, yeah cause coming out as gay was so safe to do. I got a black eye during a rumble between a straight dumb ass and a gay student."

"You got that black eye while fighting the nurses, it's all right everything will come back to you." Cal took her hand, nodded to Kelly and began to walk her back to the house, "Why don't you go lay down while I finish dinner."

Spencer walked back up stairs, unable to comprehend what he had just told her. Again she looked around at her surroundings, a picture hung on the wall with a couple Madison and Aiden Marks. Weird! She thought passing by. She sat on the bed, just on the other side of the room was a King High chess board.

"Hey, you're not lying down." He smiled.

"I still don't believe you, Ashley Davies is real and my family isn't dead."

"I didn't want to do this," Cal walked to the closet. Rummaged through for minute before pulling out a scrape book. He set it in her lap and opened it, Spencer's mouth went dry. Articles of 'The Carlin Family Wreck' splattered all over the book, "This is what happened to your family. As for Ashley, Mr. Davies down the street has a granddaughter named Ashley. Brown hair, brown eyes, sound familiar?"

"No.. it can't be."

"I'm tired of trying to explain this over and over again, take your medication and come have dinner with me, your husband. Don't want to stave the baby." He patted her stomach.

"Baby?" she felt her body tense.

"You're not showing I know, four months pregnant and nothing. Doc said it's the medicine, keeping you so thin. Good thing I guess, so coming?" He motioned to downstairs. Spencer could only nod, he left her there holding the scrape book. Was everything she'd experienced fake? Did she just imagine Ashley and her family? Could she possible have all that happen and not know it wasn't real? Her head hurt with all the information, she slid the book to the bed and went downstairs to eat. She'd find out what was going on later, she was starving.


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry for the wait been really busy. Thank you for the reviews and to tay0720, I want to apologize for making your work day miserable. To those who asked if I saw smallville yes, I sort of took that idea and didn't even realize it. But that episode was good. The next chapter will probably be it but I'm starting some new SON fanfics of course about Ashley/Spencer, their my favorites.**

Spencer sat in the living room reading a book, her mind not really on it but it kept Cal from talking to her so she gladly pretended. She heard him approaching so she smiled as innocently as possible as if he knew what she was thinking.

"I'm going to bed now, you coming up." He licked his lips and stared her down, she knew that look. Ashley gave it to her when they hadn't seen each other for all most a week, because they were busy with school and studying.

"I'll be up in a minute, just want to finish this last chapter." Motioning to the book on her lap, he nodded before heading up the stairs whistling a little tune.

She ran her hand through her hair, when she thought it was safe she stood up and placed the book on the coffee table. Feet carefully placed to not make the floor creak she made her way to the kitchen. She began searching for a weapon, something she could easily hide. Remembering a movie Ashley took her to see, some horror flick where a guy was being chased by shadow monsters or something, Spencer was to busy hiding her face in Ashley's shoulders to finish the movie. But the guy hid a knife in his sock; Spencer rummaged through a drawer and found a small knife. A hand slipped into hers, she spun around swinging the knife.

"Spencer calm down!" the woman jumped back, eyes wide with fear.

The blonde gulped, her stomach tightening again, "Ash?"

Ashley smiled her self assured smile, "Yep. You didn't think I'd leave you with Mr. Needs-a-reality check did you?" She grabbed her fiancée's hand once again but she pulled away shaking her head, "What's wrong?"

"You're, you're not real..." Her voice was low, barely audible but Ashley heard.

"What are you talking about?"

"Spencer who are you talking to?" Cal came in, still dressed but you can see he'd brushed his teeth and took a shower.

"She's talking to me asshole!" Ashley growled. But Cal didn't even look her way; he just stared at the blonde.

"I was talking to..." she looked at Ashley than back at Cal. She bit her bottom lip and stared at the ground. She could feel Ashley's eyes glaring at her, not meanly just glaring she couldn't place it. Tell him she was talking to Ashley, tell him she was talking to herself but the way he made it sound earlier that if she was talking to Ashley than indeed she was talking to her self so did it matter either way what she replied. She had to stop thinking; it was giving her a head ache, "I was talking to Ashley."

Ashley smiled which made Spencer melt but than Cal got in the way, "Do you see her here, right now?"

"What are you droning on about?" Ashley slipped her hand into Spencer's for comfort. Again Cal ignored her like she wasn't there, taking a few steps toward the blonde.

"Yes," Spencer answered Cal's question quietly.

"Good!" He reached out and pulled Ashley away, slamming her into the wall. Spencer whimpered but couldn't move. His fist hardened, contacting the brunette's stomach, once...twice...three...four...five. Ashley felt her body weakening; blood was shooting from her mouth, leaked down her chin to her shirt. She brought her knee up right where the sun don't shine. Cal doubled over in pain and let her go.

Ashley ran to Spencer, "Get out of here!" she pushed her fiancée toward the entrance of the house not wanting her to be in the way. The blonde took off but Ashley was pulled back, she flew into the kitchen table. Her back hurt but not as much as him dragging her by the hair than that pain was gone.

"Who are you?" Cal wondered tackling Mr. Carlin, the two men crashed into a counter. The dishes falling to the ground, breaking everywhere.

"You okay?" Aiden asked as he and Kyla helped Ashley up. She only nodded, unable to form a decent word from all the blows to her gut.

"Where's Spencer?" Kyla glanced around, the three jumped out of the way just as Mr. Carlin and Cal came their way. Aiden saw that Kyla had a good grip on Ashley and went to help Mr. Carlin who was thrown into the wall and slumped down. Aiden put his arm around Cal's neck and pulled back choking the guy. Cal used Aiden's own weight against him by pushing backwards till they were both in the living room and the coffee table met the back of Aiden's knees who dropped immediately causing the table to smash apart. His head hit a broken piece, he laid there unmoving.

Cal smirked than got up; Kyla and Ashley were near Mr. Carlin who was also passed out. He had taken several shots to the head, if it was any other place Mr. C would still be fighting, but the head is a dangerous place to get smacked around, "I told you she couldn't be bothered. You don't want her to lose the baby do you?"

"She's pregnant?" Kyla looked from her sister back to the crazy man in front of them.

"No she's not!" Ashley demanded, there was no way, Spencer had been with her for all this time and since prom the blonde tried never to leave her side ever. This pissed Cal off; he grabbed Kyla by the hair yanking her away. Blood seeping down his white shirt, Kyla had stabbed him just below the ribs on his side. Growling he pulled the knife out, backhanded her so she fell.

He turned his attention back to Ashley, the knife held tight. His steps precise, he knew exactly what to do. She backed up as far as she could but the refrigerator blocked her escape, he came at her. Knife swinging down wards, the shiny metal glittering in the light. Her muscles tightened in response to the attack, her heat slowed and it seemed to take forever. Ashley closed her eyes and waited. A loud echoing sound bounced of the walls or maybe it just sounded like that, her mind wanted to shut down. A heavy weight pushed her further to the floor, pain racked her entire body, than she heard nothing.

Slowly opening her eyes she saw Cal's lifeless eyes staring back, his body was pressed closely to hers. Scrunching up her eyebrows she pushed him off her, moving caused pain to surge through her side. Looking down she saw that the knife had only skimmed the surface of her side but was stuck in her shirt and in the ground so she was pinned to the floor. Her brown eyes glanced up to meet sad blue ones, Spencer stood there with no emotion on her face and a gun pointed at Cal. Ashley finally freed herself from the knife, pushed herself up and limped toward the blond.

"Spence?"

"I had to Ash, he was going to kill you. All of you, I couldn't..." tears ran down her cheeks but she didn't lower the gun.

"Spencer!" Mr. Carlin saw everything from his spot on the wall, it had been in slow motion and since his eyes were still blurry at the time from the head wound he couldn't stop her. He laid his hand on the gun but she didn't release it, instead she pulled away and walked over to Cal and shot again and again and again until the gun ran out of bullets but she still kept pulling the trigger. Aiden, Kyla, Ashley and Mr. Carlin just watched unsure on how to tell Spencer they were safe, to tell her it was all right. Mr. Carling walked over to his daughter again, "Give me the gun sweetie?"

"Dad I have to kill him before he gets us!" Her voice was shaky and she kept pulling the trigger imagining the loud bangs.

"He's dead." Mr. Carlin assured, searching his daughters face for some recognition to what he said.

"Yeah Spence you did a number on that guy." Aiden spoke up, Kyla smacked him before pulling him into a huge passionate kiss.

Kyla pulled away, "You're such a guy."

"Police freeze!" An officer shouted, "Drop the weapon and put your hands behind your head!"

Spencer dropped the gun and did what the cop asked, he came over and handcuffed her.

"Wait, she didn't do anything!" Ashley coughed.

"She shot someone," He lead Spencer to a cop car and put her in the back, "All of you are coming with us. You can give your statements than." And the car drove off with Spencer, Ashley just sighed. At least she isn't with...her thoughts trailed off as paramedics wheeled Cal's body out of the house, she sighed again before getting in a cop car and going to the station with the others.


	16. Chapter 16

Spencer blinked her eyes several times to get her vision back into focus, her blue eyes traveled around her surroundings. The last thing she remembered was being put in the back of a police car, now she was standing in the empty gym at King High. Her head hurt and the light practically blinded her. Rubbing her eyes she began walking out into the hallways, students crowded around walking to their next class or lunch she wasn't sure which. In the distance she could see two people who she knew by heart, Ashley and Aiden were laughing near the cafeteria.

"Ashley, Aiden!" Spencer called out, the two turned to see who called their names. They both looked at her with disgust and turned to walk away, "Guys!"

She ran, her legs pumping to reach the two before they got out of sight, she reached out turning Ashley around to face, "What? What do you want Spencer?" the brunette pretty much yelled like she was exhausted.

"I...did I do something wrong?" Spencer felt tears threatening to spill, her chest started to constrict. Why did Ashley yell at her, "Is it about Cal? I shot him to save you..."

"What are you talking about?" Aiden stepped in when he saw Ashley about to give in and hold Spencer, "You know what we don't care. Go back to your boyfriend!"

"Boyfriend, I don't have..." Spencer was at a loss for words, her mind spinning in several directions, glancing down she saw her ring was missing, "Where's my ring?"

"Ring?" Ashley wondered, her eyes resting on the blond who ripped her heart out at the hospital the day she woke up. Every day the girl would parade in front of the brunette with her new boyfriend and give her the evil eye. Ashley had never seen Spencer look so hard and cold in the entire time she knew her, but the girl in front of her looked sort of like the old Spencer, kind blue eyes and less frown lines, the way her voice broke while talking all most made her want to hold her in her arms again, all most.

"The ring you gave me when you asked me to marry you..." Spencer trailed off while searching the ground for her ring; she started back tracking the way she came.

"How..." Ashley's voice was no more than a whisper, Aiden was the only one who heard her and that was only because he was standing next to her. The blond in front paid no attention to them as she searched the floor beneath her, "How did you know about that?" Ashley's anger boiling over as she rushed at Spencer and turned the girl around, slamming her into the wall.

Flinching Spencer gasped in pain, her mouth opened and shut several times but she couldn't wrap her mind around this situation. Tears started spilling down her face, her fists clenched in frustration; nothing was making sense any more. First Ashley's dead, than she was the one who was shot and had Cal kidnap her and she killed him, now Ashley is being...her whole body shook with confusion and tears.

"How did you know about the ring?" Ashley asked a bit more frantically while shaking the blond who couldn't even look her in the eyes.

"I woke up...you, asked..." the blond was trying to grasp for air that didn't seem to want to come, her whole body felt like it was on fire, "I said yes..."

"No!" Ashley screamed although she could see in the younger girl's eyes that she meant everything she'd said, "No...You told me to get out Spencer. You said it was over, I never got a chance to show you the ring!"

Spencer violently shook her head, wiping tears away and pulling out of Ashley's grip, "What's going on?" a boy of eighteen came shooting toward the three, "Baby what's going on?" He asked the blond while pulling her in for a hug.

She watched as Aiden and Ashley turned to leave her with this boy, she yanked away, "Don't touch me...I don't even know you!" Her voice echoed through the hall making students slow to watch the scene. Her two ex friends heard this and turned back to watch.

"It's Wes. I'm your boyfriend." He reached out his hand, slightly touching her arm.

Spencer took a step back, "I don't have a boyfriend...I like girls, when will people understand that!" She closed her eyes, her body shaking her breath coming rapidly. The more Wes moved toward her the more she stepped back. Her mouth opened but no air would come in, her knees hit the ground.

"Spencer!" Both Ashley and Aiden rushed to her side, even if she had been a bitch to them the past couple months they couldn't stand to watch any longer. She yanked away from them, her vision blurring.

"Spencer you need to breathe..." Aiden pleaded with the girl in front of him.

"Breathe," Wes commanded like this one word uttered by him would help her.

Ashley watched as both boys tried to get her to take in air with out touching her. Tears hung on the edge of her eyes threatening to spill at any moment. If something wasn't done soon the girl would black out. The brunette dropped to her knees in front of the younger girl, placing her hands on either side of Spencer's face to make her look her in the eyes. Clouded blue orbs met sad brown ones, "Breathe Spence..." Ashley said. She leaned closer letting her hot breath slid across the blonde's ear, "Breathe..." she whispered softly, taking the girls hand and placing it over her heart allowing the girl to fill her breathing.

Spencer slowly calmed down and took a huge gulp of air, wrapping her arms around Ashley and holding on tight, "Spence?" Wes placed a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. She flinched away and hugged the brunette tighter. Aiden could see the hurt on the boy's face; he led Wes away to talk to him to give the girls some privacy.

Ashley shifted uncomfortably on the ground, causing the girl in her arms to grip tighter "Please don't leave!" Spencer said over and over again through her sobs. Ashley didn't know what to do, Aiden walked back over a minute later. The brunette glanced up helplessly to the boy; her could see the pain in her face and knew that even though Spencer pushed the older girl away Ashley never stopped loving her. He just doesn't know if she can handle this again.

"Wes said he'd take her home," Aiden nodded toward the parking lot.

"Spencer you need to let Wes drive you home," Ashley spoke softly as she pulled the younger girl up to a standing position.

Shaking her head she released her arms from around the other girl, "I don't know him so I'm not going with him. I want to go home with you..."

"You gave that right up three months ago, so just leave all ready."

"But the ring..."

Ashley took a step back, "I never gave you the fucking ring!" She yelled turning and stalking off.

"Ash," Aiden grabbed her arm keeping her in place, "Let go Aiden!"

"No, you listen and listen good. You ripped her heart out; she went home and cried for days and who was there to pick up the pieces, huh? Me, that's right. So don't come near her again understand me or so help me God..." He threw her arm down and walked away leaving his threat hanging, knowing her imagination could come up with worse than whatever he actually threatened.


	17. Chapter 17

Two weeks later Spencer felt even worse, she went to school and watched Ashley and Aiden have a good time. Got ignored during classes she shared with them and broke up with Wes, she couldn't stand being around him and his jock buddies. At home was even worse, at least in what ever reality she'd come from her parents were working thru their problems. Here it was the complete opposite, her parents fought and screamed at each other. Blaming each other or Spencer for their declining family, she sat on the top stairs listening trying to understand what was happening around her. Her whole body felt numb.

"Spencer come on were going to be late!" Clay yelled up the stairs not wanting to miss the first Monday classes.

Sighing she glanced at herself in the mirror one last time, her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she wore no make up. She saw no point in trying to look good, no point in doing any thing any more. Her heart and mind simply gave up at the same time. Slipping on one of Ashley's hoodies that was left hidden in her closet over her t shirt, her eyes wondered down her body to the slightly loose jeans and tennis shoes. Her mother kept bugging her to eat but just the mention of food made her sick to her stomach so she eat little as possible causing her jeans to become loose.

"Spencer!" Grabbing her back pack she rushed down stairs and out the door before her dad could say anything, her mother working the early shift wasn't home so no worry there.

Glen drove the car to the school parking lot, they were at least thirty minutes early so students milled around the quad waiting for the bell to ring. Gripping the strap of her back pack she exited the car, her eyes scanning the building as her legs moved forward. Blue eyes fell upon Ashley and some new girl talking at one of the table, the brunette's eyes lit up and a small laugh escaped her lips as the other girl made a joke.

Spencer's mouth went dry, her body ached and burned and she knew right then that she was jealous. Ashley glanced up as if feeling eyes on her and locked gazes with Spencer, she could see the girl clearly even from afar. Her eyes were hollow and she seemed skinner and paler than the last time she'd seen her.

The blond knew she couldn't stay here and go thru another day of school, Ashley or Aiden or hell even the new girl. Lowering her eyes from the brunette's gaze she turned on her heel and walked away from the building. Down the street, her mind in a daze and she had no clue where she was going. Her legs just kept going, step after step, people passing by giving her weird looks as if she didn't belong which she truly felt like she didn't.

After about three hours of walking she found her self on the beach staring out into the ocean. Wind blowing thru her hair, the air slightly chilly which was unusual for LA since it was all most summer. Sea gulls cried above the water, waves rolled in and some how she felt calmer here. She could finally breathe, setting her back pack down she rested on the sand. Letting all the memories wash over her, from Ashley dying to killing a man to losing Ashley. _What the hell is going on?_ Her mind asked over and over again. Glancing at her watch she noticed it was all most time for school to let out, so she made the three hour walk back to the school where her brothers never noticed she was gone.

Tuesday came and the minute she stepped up to the school a wave of dizziness hit and again she waited for her brothers to disappear into the crowd before turning and walking away to the beach. Wednesday came and again she skipped, then Thursday and finally Friday came around.

This morning Spencer felt exhausted, the total six hour walk she'd been doing for the past four days was taking its toll on her. And the not sleeping or hardly eating wasn't helping matters.

"Glen I'll be in the car," Spencer spoke quietly afraid to disturb her mother because she defiantly didn't need a repeat of last nights yelling match.

Her brother nodded, she only waited for three minutes before her brother's came out and they were off to school. The first time she ditched was because of Ashley but next three times she never saw the brunette, she just could stand being suffocated by all the teachers and students. Having to pretend to listen and interact wasn't something she could even try and do.

Once her brothers were no where in sight she turned around to start the three hour walk, at least today she left her back pack at home, that thing just weighed her down and made her shoulders sore. At the beach she sat under the pier, leaning against one of the pillars, half laying half sitting. The smell of the ocean, the sound of waves lashing at the rocks a few feet away lolled her into a peaceful state.

"I knew I'd find you here," the familiar voice broke in to her alone time. Opening her eyes she stared at the older girl in front of her, "Can I join you?"

The blond couldn't form words, she's hardly said anything, hardly used her voice the past three weeks that she was afraid her brain forgot how to respond by verbal communication. Lucky for her Ashley didn't wait long before sitting next to her, making sure to leave enough room so they were so close that the brunette could smell the blonds strawberry shampoo but far enough away so their shoulders didn't touch.

They sat in silence, Spencer could feel Ashley's eyes bore a hole into her but she refused to look at the other girl, "You haven't been in school for a while..."

The blond just shrugged her shoulders, "Didn't feel like going."

"You coming back on Monday?" Ashley didn't know why she was here, all she knew was something was wrong with the younger girl and she was probably the only one who could break in and found out what.

"No..."

"Why not?" Ashley wondered her voice raising a bit showing how worried she really was.

"We have two weeks of school left before summer," Spencer yawned, "My grades wont suffer and I'll graduate to the twelfth grade so what's the point in going."

"Spence..."

The blond shot up, "I have to get going..." she started walking away, "Got a three hour hike back."

"Stop..." Her voice was weak but made it to the blond's ears who slowed but didn't turn around, "I'll drive you back."

"No thanks"

"Spencer!" Ashley rushed forward and spun her around, "Your tired...I can see it in your eyes. How many times have you walked here and back, huh? When was the last time you ate a decent meal?"

"Ashley don't!" Spencer shouted, "I can't deal with this right now...leave me alone!"

"No," Ashley stated plainly getting in the blonde's way.

"Get out of my way!" her voice shook with anger but Ashley could hear the underlining emotion, the one that was the true culprit, despair and the older girl knew that it would have slipped by an untrained eye.

"No," Ashley stated again but calmer than before, "I care about you whether you want to believe it or not..."

"Care about me!" Spencer screamed cutting me off, "NO don't say that if you really cared you wouldn't have walked away from me that day or have you little boyfriend threaten me to stay away."

"Boyfriend?" _She must be talking about Aiden, but no he wouldn't threaten her would he?_ "He's not my boyfriend and you're the one that ended it not me. That day in the hospital you told me to leave. To not bother you any more!"

"NO I DIDN'T!" Spencer turned around and ran but Ashley wasn't letting this go. Her legs pumped thru the sand, her arms wrapped around the younger girl's waist. They both dropped into the sand, Ashley straddling the blond who struggled to get up but her hands were quickly pinned above her head.

"Yes you did," Ashley said staring at the girl beneath her who refused to meet her gaze.

"Let me up."

"When was the last time you slept?" Ashley asked seeing the bags under the girls eyes and remembering her yawning earlier.

"Let me up."

"Answer the question...

"Let me up?" This time it was more of a question. Ashley took her free hand and pushed a strand of blond hair behind the younger girl's ear while stroking her cheek.

"Answer the question."

"Yesterday!" Spencer growled locking her eyes with the older girl.

"Longer than two hours..." The brunette raised her eyebrows causing the blond to again divert her eyes.

"Three weeks ago..." she whispered.

"When was the last time you ate...a real meal?" Ashley added knowing the girl would say little as possible.

"Three weeks ago..." her words got quieter.

"Oh Spencer," Ashley's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. No matter how much the girl beneath her broke her heart she couldn't stand the thought of Spencer falling apart, she bent down and hugged the younger girl with out releasing her arms so she didn't have a chance to push her away. Nuzzling her head in the crook of Spencer's neck so her mouth was right next to the blonde's ear, her hot breath caressing the flesh.

Being pinned to the sand with out being able to move Spencer listened to the waves and wind while Ashley's soft breathing burned her skin. Her mouth dry from being so close to the girl she loved. Her eyes growing heavy from lack of sleep and food, finally in this place she felt safe and cared for and before she knew it she was deep asleep and Ashley lay on top of her watching the peaceful expression on Spencer's face.

_Maybe we can get back together; this could be my way in...but poor Spence...wait no not poor Spence what the fuck she broke up with me not the other way around...but I love her...doesn't mean you can't stay away...I need help she's not telling me everything but who can I call...not her family that's for sure...Aiden, she hates him but right now it doesn't matter, she hated me but she came to talk to me...damn it I don't have a choice...look at how cute she is...FUCK! She's getting to me again._

As Ashley waged a war between herself the time flew by, school was out and the younger girls brothers probably was wondering where she was. Finally she called Aiden to come help, hoping it was a good idea.


	18. Chapter 18

Yawning and stretching her tired arms, _wait I can move my arms_, Spencer quickly opened her eyes to see Ashley's ceiling.

"Your awake," Spencer knew that voice, sitting up she saw Aiden leaning in the door way.

"Where's Ashley, how'd I get here?"

"Calm down, one she's at a therapy session with Kyla and two she called me earlier and I came and picked you two up...you know because she couldn't lift your ass."

"Thanks," she said thru clenched teeth not really looking for a fight and hopefully he didn't force her into one like Ashley did earlier. She got up, feeling dizzy she took a minute to let her head settle, _probably should have ate this morning_.

"Is that Ash's sweater?" He asked running his hand thru his hair, his mouth turning into a frown.

"Chill, she left it at my house before..." she trailed off while glancing at a picture of Ashley and her on the beach, sighing she removed the sweater from her body and placed it on the couch, "Tell her thanks."

Aiden caught her arm, "I told you to stay away"

"I didn't ask her to come to the beach, she just showed..." Spencer yanked her arm away.

"Okay...okay," Aiden stepped back. The room became silent again, neither moving, neither talking afraid of what the other would say. Minutes ticked by, ten to be exact, "Wanna go to a party?"

"Yeah sure," The two quickly turned and left the room. Once in Aiden's car they seemed to relax, he turned the radio on so the silence was filled and again neither spoke. By the time they got to the party it was seven thirty, the beach house was packed with drunken teenagers. Inside the music blared, Aiden went off with some red head chic leaving Spencer on her own which she preferred. So she quickly made her way over to the keg for some much needed distraction.

Ashley sat in her car, the red light throwing an eerie glow over her and Kyla who was sitting in the passenger seat. Neither one liked going to the therapy sessions, the sister's thought they were doing fine with out them but their father wanted them to go and if they wanted the money it was a condition.

"So are you going to get back with her?" Kyla asked quietly while watching the cars pass out her window.

"I don't know Ky, she broke my heart really bad."

"Why are you helping her then?" Kyla didn't understand her sister at times, one minute she was a cold hearted bitch the next she was the most caring person Kyla had ever seen, "What ever is happening she put herself there, not you."

"I know...it's complicated," Ashley said pushing the gas pedal as the green glow replaced the red. A vibration hit her hip, jumping her breath hitched before she remembered she'd put her phone on vibrate, "Hello?"

"Hey Ashhhh," Aiden's drunken slur resounded in the phone over loud music.

"Aiden, are you drunk?"

"Yes, that's why you need to come get me..." He said before his attention was taken to a girl giggling beside him.

"Aren't you suppose to be at my house watching Spencer?" Kyla was eyeing her in confusion.

"Yeah see here's the thing, she woke up and we..." He trailed off yelling across the dance floor about some tight song.

"Aiden!" Ashley yelled trying to keep the drunks attention.

"Ash?"

"We what?" she tried to get him to finish his earlier sentence.

"We...oh me and Spence yeah we hit this beach house party on Grover, its sick Ash you have to come." Knowing she had to get there to take care of the boy and possibly the girl Ashley got the address.

"We're making a quick stop Kyla," she explained before making a U-turn. The two girls exited the car to see the huge party, teens and even some college kids grind and moved on the dance floor while each corner had a keg of beer. Lights were dimmed to make the atmosphere more romantic but it didn't help much.

After ten minutes of searching they found Aiden sitting in an arm chair with some drunk dirty blond giving him a lap dance, Kyla pulled the girl off.

"What the Fuck!" Aiden growled obviously he forgot he wanted a ride home.

"Where's Spencer?" Kyla asked not wanting to stay in his eyesight for long.

Aiden glanced around the room as if searching for the answer to that question before settling his eyes back on Kyla, "Around...so you want to go dance?"

"Hey prick," Ashley growled...the only way to talk to a drunk Aiden was to get him mad, "Where is she?"

"Chill Ash, last time I saw here she was over by one of the kegs..." he pointed to at least two different corners, _Great he doesn't even remember which keg!_

"Was she drinking?"

"I dunno, I guess..."

"Damn it Aiden, she hasn't ate anything yet...this is not good." Ashley said the last part to herself, "I can't believe you let her drink!" she snapped

"I'm not her keeper, she's a big girl she can handle herself."

"Obviously she can't Aiden!" Kyla quickly jumped into the conversation.

"Whoa there Kyla, don't go getting pissy with me...I'm not her babysitter..."

"Yea you were, I ask one thing Aiden...ONE thing, watch Spencer." Ashley sighed, how come he never listened, everything all ways got worse.

"Hey check it out, some girls going to jump!" A tall dark haired boy ran in pointing out toward the pier. The whole party dispersed out the back door to stand on the sandy beach, Ashley and Kyla getting pushed along till they two stood outside.

The older Davies' mouth dropped open, it was her...the girl sitting on the other side of the railing up on the pier near the deep end staring down into the swirling ocean was none other than Spencer.

Sensing Ashley's tense state Kyla followed her gaze, eyes wide she knew they had to do something. Grabbing her older sister's hand Kyla crashed thru the crowd of teens who were encouraging Spencer to jump. Finally they approached the pier, the wood creaking under their shoes...Ashley could barely hear the crowd as her heart was thumping so loud in her ears, her blood went cold as they stood four feet away from the blond girl.

Licking her lips Ashley took two more steeps, closing the distance "Spencer?"

tbc


	19. Chapter 19

Spencer turned her head slightly to the left to see Ashley and Kyla standing on the pier, without answering she just stared back down into the ocean. The dark sky was clouding over with the threat of rain, the wind picked up blowing her hair softly back and forth. Music from the party washed over her, the water below tossing with an attitude. For a minute the blond thought about falling in, letting the blue water mix with the blue in her eyes, Ashley all ways said looking into her eyes was like drowning in the ocean maybe that comment was meant to lead her here, to this moment where her eyes and body would drown.

"Spencer?" again Ashley forced herself to take another step forward since the younger girl had yet to respond but the brunette knew she knew she was there, "What are you doing up here?"

"Thinking," Spencer's voice was just loud enough to carry on the wind.

"Anything you want to share?" Ashley knew she was going to have to stay calm and slightly manipulative to get the other girl back on the safe side of the railing. Her breathing was shallow and her heart pumped several miles a minute, this was the most scared she'd ever been, even topped being dumped by the blond.

"Why are you here, I thought you had a session with Kyla?"

"I did, Aiden called...drunk off his ass. I had to come get him,"

"Figures," Ashley barely heard the word and seeing on how Spencer slightly ducked her head she wasn't meant to here it, "Why don't you go back to the party...have some fun."

"What if I don't want to, huh? What if I want to hang with you, it'd be easier if you came back over."

Spencer clamed up, even if Ashley really did want to 'hang' with her it would be pointless. She never knew when she would end up some where else, maybe with the love of her life or not, a well functioning family or a dysfunctional one like in this reality. It seemed so easy to give up, one little slip and plummet into the sea. A hand covered the top of hers sending warmth to spread over her entire body. Removing her eyes from the sea she stared down, she saw soft fingers intertwining with her own, a thumb running small circles on top of her hand. Following the hand up to the arm, then shoulder, collarbones, brown auburn hair and settling on brown orbs which were staring right back. In her trance like state she hadn't realized Ashley climbing over the railing to sit next to her.

"You're not drunk."

"Did you expect me to be?" Spencer wondered

"Aiden said he saw you by the kegs..."

"And you just assumed right?" Spencer growled at the girl beside her, ripping her hand away.

"It would help explain..." Ashley motioned to where they were at the moment "this"

"Yeah cuz why would I want to be up here if I was sober,"

"Why would you?" Ashley asked sarcastically but really did want to know the answer. How could someone as nice and pure as Spencer, the native Ohio, end up sitting on a pier considering to end her life?

Spencer cocked her eyebrows, "That's really bugging you isn't it?"

"What?"

"You usually can read me but you can't right now, and that's bugging you..." Spencer smirked glancing back at the ocean, the clouds seeming to connect with the dark water below it.

"I can still read you," Ashley insisted not liking the way the fair haired girl was smiling. Spencer just snorted and rolled her eyes, "I can...like how I know your not really mad..." Spencer scooted farther away from the brunette, "Your really scared..." Ashley closed the distance the blond had made, "How you're steeling glances at me right now and think I don't know."

"Ashley just go back to the party and leave me alone."

"The way your eyes tell me everything I need to know and that's why you're not looking at me..." The brunette ran her hand up and down Spencer's arm.

"I mean it Ash, stop!" Spencer growled again scooting over and away from the searing touch of her lover, or ex lover the blond wasn't sure any more.

Ashley leaned over and softly spoke in the girl's ear, "How your body trembles and your breath hitches when I whisper in your ear." And sure enough Spencer felt her heart jump and her body shiver.

Spencer quickly stood up which wasn't the best idea considering there was only a foot away from the ledge. Her body swayed and her hands grabbed on to the railing, Ashley was standing next to her now, her left hand steadying Spencer who backed away from the touch.

"We're not together any more so you can't do that!" Rain slowly started drizzling down on them as thunder boomed across the heavens and lightning flashed in the distance.

"Do what?" Ashley asked, taking a step closer, "Love you...wish that what ever is going on with you I can magically make go away and just hold you!"

A crack of lightning and thunder startled the blue eyes that had been locked with brown orbs, Spencer glanced back out to the sea as water soaked her body and the wind caused her to shiver from the cold. Whipping her head back she found Ashley standing right in front of her, the brunette's hands holding either side of her arms.

"NO!" Spencer tried to step back but the older girl had her glued to the spot.

"Your telling me no but your eyes are begging me to break you!" Ashley whispered close to Spencer's face. Her hot breath mixing with the blonde's, they couldn't tell where one breath started and the other ended. Water droplets running small trails down their cheeks and jaws, Ashley lifted one hand to trace the younger girl's lips which were moistened by tears and rain, "Why are you up here?"

Again she tried to move but her legs felt stiff and heavy, her eyes fluttered close for a moment taking in the delicate side to side motion of the older girls thumb on her lips, "Escaping"

"From what?" Their bodies so close there was hardly any space that existed between them.

Blue orbs still refused to lock with brown, instead they focused on the older girl's lips, "Everything...everyone, I just don't understand what's going on...I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Shh, baby you're not crazy..." Ashley removed her fingers from Spencer's lips and cupped her cheek, brushing her thumb across the flesh, "but you need to tell me what's happening..."

Slowly and unsure Spencer released her lock on Ashley's lips and made her eyes move up to the brown orbs that could all ways make her feel safe. Just then another loud rumble sounded only this one came from deep inside of the blonde's stomach, causing Ashley to giggle and Spencer to look down as red spread thru her cheeks.

"You hungry Spence?" Ashley asked trying to lighten the mood.

Spencer nodded, "Maybe just a little."

"Just a little?"

"Okay...okay, a lot..." Spencer smiled.

"Is...Omg...it is, she can smile...we've got a full on Spencer smile!" Ashley slightly yelled into the wind causing the blond to laugh.

"I love you!" Spencer said once her laughter subsided, she closed the distance and their lips collided in a fusion of passion and love, want and need, lust and desire. Spencer massaged Ashley's bottom lip pulling a moan from the shorter girl, who opened her mouth. Spencer slid her tongue into the hot cavern of the other girl, stroking the brunette's appendage with her own. The kiss only grew more heated, taking all the oxygen the teens had.

Ashley was the first to pull away, their foreheads touching "Wow...maybe you should go on distress mode more often." She said between breaths.

"Naw, I leave that for you." Spencer leaned in to kiss Ashley again but the older girl pulled away, "What?"

"It might help if we weren't on the ledge of certain doom," the brunette smirked as the two glanced down seeing the long drop into the water.

"Right, safety first..."

"I knew it," A deep drunk voice broke their playful banter...turning they saw Aiden pushing past Kyla and stalking straight toward them... "Bitch I knew you couldn't stay away." The boy slurred now running toward the two girl's who had yet to get on the safe side of the railing.

TBC

Okay audience gets to pick...

One- something bad happens

Two- something worse happens

You decide...comment and pick a number!


	20. Chapter 20

A/N okay so most people wanted one so this is it but i felt like adding two in too so don't worry things will be taking a turn for the worse soon...enjoy.

Ashley and Spencer had no chance to move as Aiden threw himself over the railing and into them. The three teens slipped off the edge, falling fast into the anger sea. People above shouting, sirens sounded in the distance from when Kyla called 911. Water crushed the teens, seeping into their pores and air ways.

Spencer kicked her legs viciously as the current tugged on her pants, the clothing making it difficult to haul her self toward the surface. Her hands flung about trying desperately to grab onto anything solid. Lungs burning, eyes clouded over she used the rest of her strength to burst out of the blanket of water. Air chocked her as she tried to cough up the salty taste from her mouth, the sea tossed and flipped as the wind picked up its pace, if she wasn't tired before now she was exhausted. Arms and legs working together as one to keep her afloat as she searched for the other two...

"Spencer!" Ashley screamed, quickly the blond turned her body back toward the pier. A small dark spot caught her attention, doing the best she could she started swimming that way. When she got closer she confirmed it was indeed Ashley, the girl was trapped between two pillars. Each wave washed over the brunette's head making it harder to breath.

"Can you move?" Spencer grabbed onto the wooden pillar in front of Ashley.

"No, my..." a wave crashed over them causing them to cough, "My foot is caught!"

"HELP!" both girls scanned for where the voice came from. Aiden bobbed for a second before being pulled under. Knowing Ashley was some what safe right now Spencer kissed her forehead while whispering the words 'I love you' in the girls ear before swimming toward the drowning boy. The alcohol level in him making it harder to stay afloat and the blond hadn't been truthful; she too had at least two full cups of beer that night. Rain pelted down causing ripples to spread in the water but then was replaced by massive rolling waves.

All her muscles ached; her throat grew scratchy from the salt water invading her nose and mouth. Taking a deep breath she dove under, eyes burning as they tried to see what lay underneath the murky depth. _Please don't let me see a shark...please...please_ Spencer pleaded with her self than felt dumb for the fact that she was probably going to die any way and she was letting a child hood fear come between her and her mission. About three feet below her the boy floated, Spencer kicked a few more times and reached out her arm. Grabbing Aiden by the wrist, she yanked and kicked and swiped her free hand thru the thick water.

Head breaking thru the surface once more, pulling Aiden up as well, slipping her arm around his waist she began swimming toward Ashley and the pier.

"What the hell!" Aiden asked after he regained consciousness.

"I'm saving your life." Spencer plainly stated, _but I probably should let your dumb ass drown_.

"Let go!" Aiden yanked away from her, "Your taking her away again and I won't let you!" He grabbed her shoulders and forced the girl in front of him back under the water. Her arms tried to push him away but he was too strong.

"Aiden NO!" Ashley screamed in fear but could do nothing as her foot was caught. She twisted and turned, fought against the current anything to help the girl she loved.

Spencer held her breath for as long as possible, didn't exactly get a lung full of air before the boy she was saving decided it'd be more fun to play drown the savior. Closing her eyes she saw flashes...

_Spencer realized she was under covers, her dad must have came in the middle of the night and covered her up. She wanted to go downstairs and talk to him, tell someone she was sorry about last night but she couldn't move. Spencer opened her eyes and found herself at Ashley's house, in Ashley's bed._

"_Nice of you to join the awake people." Ashley's voice spoke on the other side of her. Swallowing Spencer moved slowly to look, her eyes drifted down to meet the beautiful eyes of Ashley Davies. Spencer shot out of bed screaming causing Ashley to fall back wards out of bed and quickly stood up, "Spencer what's wrong?"_

_Spencer took a couple steps back as Ashley approached her, "Y...you...your..."_

"_I'm what?" Ashley asked trying to touch her girlfriend who yanked away, "Spencer your scaring me...what's wrong?"_

"_Ashley..." Spencer stared at Ashley who held concern in her face; she was totally freaked out by what was happening._

"_Yes." Ashley smiled coming closer placing her hand on Spencer's arm. The blonde freaked out, grabbed her coat and started down the stairs, "Spencer wait up!"_

"_What's going on?" Kyla asked coming out of her room and following the two downstairs._

"_I don't know...she just flipped out, Spencer." Ashley sped up and cut her girlfriend off before she got to the door, "Slow down. Talk to me."_

"_I...got to go."_

"_Where?" Ashley wondered, she couldn't put her finger on what was going on._

"_Home..." Spencer pushed past Ashley, as their shoulders touched Spencer dropped to her knees and threw up. Ashley's flesh on hers made the images come flying back, the bullets and Ashley crying out as one smashed into her chest because she jumped in front of Spencer._

"_Spence..." Ashley tried to help the girl up but she pulled away and ran out the door, "At least let me drive you!"_

"_NO!" Spencer tried to use both her hands to push Ashley away but Ashley grabbed both of them and spun the blonde around until she was holding Spencer's arms crisscrossed and Spencer's body was pressed up against hers._

"_I'm stronger than you so let's not play this game," Ashley said holding on tight to Spencer so she couldn't try and hit her again._

_Spencer's legs buckled and she fell down crying, Ashley dropped to so Spencer was still in her arms, "You can't be here!"._

"_Shhhh," She rocked her girlfriend back and forth as Spencer sobbed, "It's all right."_

"_No its not, I don't wanna lose you."_

"_You're not going to lose me, I'm here..." Ashley stroked Spencer's cheek, pushing hair out of her face and twirling it between her fingers. Spencer and her sat on the floor for what seemed like forever until Spencer lay sleeping in Ashley's arms._

"_Spencer it's no choice," Ashley made her girlfriend look at her. Tears had begun to fall again and Ashley only wiped them away, "You make me feel happy. You care about me when no one else did, sure Aiden's my friend and I don't want to lose him but he can't give me what you can."_

"_What's that?" Spencer finally choked out._

"_Love...happiness...your soul and heart, you have this way about you that just makes me feel good and I never had that with anyone else. Do you understand Spencer, it's you...it's all ways been you."_

_Ashley leaned closer and kissed Spencer who was so shocked by the action she tried to pull away but Ashley didn't let her. Spencer's lips were soft, parting her lips with her tongue she slipped it in to Spencer's mouth and was met with Spencer's own hot tongue. The two stayed like this forever it seemed, Spencer couldn't breath, the air catching in her throat with no where to go. Finally she pulled away and took a deep breath, her body trembling with fear and wanting._

"_Are you okay?" Ashley asked again._

_Spencer stared at the other girl for a moment and for the first time since moving to LA, since the shooting she knew the answer, "I'm okay." She smiled before kissing Ashley again._

"_Spencer..." the teen said, her voice was low and it took a minute for her to figure out who it was, "I thought you had..." she trailed of again, slipping her hand into Spencer's now she knew for sure who it was._

_Her lips parted to say the word but still she couldn't speak but her mind screamed it over and over again,_ _Ashley you're alive...I love you...I can't believe you're here._ _Ashley pushed loose strands of Spencer's hair away from her tired eyes._

"_I'm so sorry Spencer, it's all my fault..." Ashley cried, tears streamed down her face. She was no longer wearing the white gown from prom, instead she had on one of Spencer's shirts she left over at Ashley's house and some jeans, "I don't know what to say or how to make this better for you. I froze Spence, when Aiden told me that he still loved me I just froze. It wasn't suppose to happen like this, prom was going to be our night." Her voice shook but Spencer could tell she was trying not to break down._

"_Ashley..." Spencer managed to choke out before her voice was lost again._

"_I told you I didn't want to hurt you and now look..." she motioned to the bed Spencer was laying in, "God I don't know...I just don't know." Ashley shook her head, she'd been waiting in the hospital for days waiting for her girlfriend to wake up. Paula being the bitch she was told the doctor's not to let her in and it took Arthur days to wear her down but when it came time to go in her stomach bunched up and her brain shut down._

"_My f-f-fault." Spencer stuttered._

_Ashley shook her head violently, "No...God no, it wasn't your fault. I mean telling Aiden to stay away from me might not have been..." Ashley caught herself and decided not to go down that path, "It's not your fault Spencer and don't ever think that."_

_Are you breaking up with, this can't be happening...I thought you loved me, it wasn't a hard choice it was me__ The blonde kept thinking while staring at her lover and trying her hardest to tell her what she was thinking._

"_I spoke with your dad he said Clay will be okay, a bullet hit his arm but mostly a flesh wound and I talked with Aiden..." Ashley turned her gaze from Spencer, she looked so different than Ashley remembered, smaller somehow, "Him and Kyla are okay...I guess, they've decided to take it slow. Be friends first. Will see how long that lasts." She joked, laughing quietly trying to break the silence that Spencer couldn't. She stood up and paced back and forth._

"_You asked me to chose back there..." Ashley began talking as she paced, "Now let me explain my answer before you going screaming at me." She smiled knowing Spencer was speechless right now._

_Ashley no, I can't live without you...please you can't do this to me!_ _Spencer screamed in her mind. Tears flowed down her face but with her being so tired and medicated she had no control over it._

_Ashley saw and rushed over wiping the tears away, "Spencer don't cry." She licked her lips and held her girlfriends hand trying to find a way to tell her, "I love you and that will never change, I actually have been thinking about you and me for a while."_

_No please, I don't want to hear this,_ but she was bound to the bed.

"_I mean you're going to go off to college after next year and me...you know I'm not cut out for that life. So I was thinking...since you can't talk it's probably not something I should bring up especially after everything not just the shooting but with your parents and are get away to the hotel..."_

_If it were possible Spencer thought her heart spilt in half, right down the middle causing pain like she never felt except when she thought her mom could actually keep her away from Ashley. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, she wanted to stop show Ashley it didn't hurt. The brunette turned her back on her for a minute before spinning back around._

"_Spencer Carlin I want us to...will you marry me?" She asked slipping a fake plastic ring on to Spencer's finger. Closing her eyes she wondered if this was true, but she still felt the ring, "I know you can't answer but I can't stand the thought of you with some one else and I'll follow you to college, my trust fund and your brains. We'll live near a beach, I know how much you like the waves. You don't have to answer now, obviously and I'll respect any decision you make." Ashley said all in one breath scared to death of the answer and the reaction of Spencer's family._

"_Ash..."_

"_Spencer don't say anything right now..."_

"_Yes..." Spencer groaned in pain, her chest hurt slightly from all the silent crying to had been doing._

"_Yes...really, are you sure because you can take all the time in..." Ashley trailed off when Spencer moved her hand to hers._

"_Yes." Her vocabulary was small right now but the word held everything she needed to say at the moment. Ashley no longer able to hold it together any longer began to cry along with her new fiancée._

"_I know the ring isn't much, I was going to ask in the summer but when the gun went off...I hope the cracker jack ring will do till I make it to the shop." Ashley said between sobs and Spencer only nodded. Ashley leaned down and kissed her fiancée on the forehead, "So when do we tell the rents?"_

_Her stomach caught and her smile faded, in front of her under the wall a light seem to be turned on. That must be a door, she thought. Foot steps in puddles got louder and louder. The door handle screeched as something turned it, hinges on the metal frame made an unnerving hiss as it swung open. Spencer shielded her eyes as light flooded over her, a figure stood in the door way watching her._

"_Glad your awake darling." It was Cal, he stepped in allowing his features to show. A bright smile danced on his lips, "I hope I didn't bang you up to much with the whole shoving you into the car thing. But you need to do as I say, no girl of mine is going to run around all willy nilly."_

"_Cal, where am I? Where's Ashley?" Spencer called out, scooting back toward the wall._

"_Your friend Ashley is fine, you sent her home remember honey. Said you wanted to make a special dinner for our anniversary." Cal held his hand out, Spencer cringed, "Take it!" He insisted._

_Spencer reached up and allowed him to help her of the ground, "What anniversary?"_

"_The anniversary of the day we got married of course," He tried to kiss her but she turned her head, "Waiting for tonight. I get that. I have a dress waiting for you in the bedroom, why don't you go put it on and take a shower. I want you to look your best."_

_Spencer walked back up stairs, unable to comprehend what he had just told her. Again she looked around at her surroundings, a picture hung on the wall with a couple Madison and Aiden Marks. Weird! She thought passing by. She sat on the bed, just on the other side of the room was a King High chess board._

"_Hey, you're not lying down." He smiled._

"_I still don't believe you, Ashley Davies is real and my family isn't dead."_

"_I didn't want to do this," Cal walked to the closet. Rummaged through for minute before pulling out a scrape book. He set it in her lap and opened it, Spencer's mouth went dry. Articles of 'The Carlin Family Wreck' splattered all over the book, "This is what happened to your family. As for Ashley, Mr. Davies down the street has a granddaughter named Ashley. Brown hair, brown eyes, sound familiar?"_

"_No.. it can't be." _

"_I'm tired of trying to explain this over and over again, take your medication and come have dinner with me, your husband. Don't want to stave the baby." He patted her stomach._

"_Baby?" she felt her body tense._

"_You're not showing I know, four months pregnant and nothing. Doc said it's the medicine, keeping you so thin. Good thing I guess, so coming?" He motioned to downstairs. Spencer could only nod, he left her there holding the scrape book. Was everything she'd experienced fake? Did she just imagine Ashley and her family? Could she possible have all that happen and not know it wasn't real? Her head hurt with all the information, she slid the book to the bed and went downstairs to eat. She'd find out what was going on later, she was starving._

_Ashley finally freed herself from the knife, pushed herself up and limped toward the blond._

"_Spence?"_

"_I had to Ash, he was going to kill you. All of you, I couldn't..." tears ran down her cheeks but she didn't lower the gun._

"_Spencer!" Mr. Carlin saw everything from his spot on the wall, it had been in slow motion and since his eyes were still blurry at the time from the head wound he couldn't stop her. He laid his hand on the gun but she didn't release it, instead she pulled away and walked over to Cal and shot again and again and again until the gun ran out of bullets but she still kept pulling the trigger. Aiden, Kyla, Ashley and Mr. Carlin just watched unsure on how to tell Spencer they were safe, to tell her it was all right. Mr. Carlin walked over to his daughter again, "Give me the gun sweetie?"_

"_Dad I have to kill him before he gets us!" Her voice was shaky and she kept pulling the trigger imagining the loud bangs._

"_He's dead." Mr. Carlin assured, searching his daughters face for some recognition to what he said._

"_Yeah Spence you did a number on that guy." Aiden spoke up, Kyla smacked him before pulling him into a huge passionate kiss._

_Kyla pulled away, "You're such a guy."_

"_Police freeze!" An officer shouted, "Drop the weapon and put your hands behind your head!"_

_Spencer dropped the gun and did what the cop asked, he came over and handcuffed her._

"_Wait, she didn't do anything!" Ashley coughed._

"_She shot someone," He lead Spencer to a cop car and put her in the back, "All of you are coming with us. You can give your statements than." And the car drove off with Spencer, Ashley just sighed. At least she isn't with...her thoughts trailed off as paramedics wheeled Cal's body out of the house, she sighed again before getting in a cop car and going to the station with the others._

"_Get out of my way!" her voice shook with anger but Ashley could hear the underlining emotion, the one that was the true culprit, despair and the older girl knew that it would have slipped by an untrained eye._

"_No," Ashley stated again but calmer than before, "I care about you whether you want to believe it or not..."_

"_Care about me!" Spencer screamed cutting me off, "NO don't say that if you really cared you wouldn't have walked away from me that day or have you little boyfriend threaten me to stay away."_

"_Boyfriend?" __She must be talking about Aiden, but no he wouldn't threaten her would he?__ "He's not my boyfriend and you're the one that ended it not me. That day in the hospital you told me to leave. To not bother you any more!"_

"_NO I DIDN'T!" Spencer turned around and ran but Ashley wasn't letting this go. Her legs pumped thru the sand, her arms wrapped around the younger girl's waist. They both dropped into the sand, Ashley straddling the blond who struggled to get up but her hands were quickly pinned above her head._

"_Yes you did," Ashley said staring at the girl beneath her who refused to meet her gaze._

"_Let me up."_

"_When was the last time you slept?" Ashley asked seeing the bags under the girls eyes and remembering her yawning earlier._

"_Let me up."_

"_Answer the question..._

"_Let me up?" This time it was more of a question. Ashley took her free hand and pushed a strand of blond hair behind the younger girl's ear while stroking her cheek._

"_Answer the question."_

"_Yesterday!" Spencer growled locking her eyes with the older girl._

"_Longer than two hours..." The brunette raised her eyebrows causing the blond to again divert her eyes._

"_Three weeks ago..." she whispered._

"_When was the last time you ate...a real meal?" Ashley added knowing the girl would say little as possible._

"_Three weeks ago..." her words got quieter._

"_Oh Spencer," Ashley's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. No matter how much the girl beneath her broke her heart she couldn't stand the thought of Spencer falling apart, she bent down and hugged the younger girl with out releasing her arms so she didn't have a chance to push her away. Nuzzling her head in the crook of Spencer's neck so her mouth was right next to the blonde's ear, her hot breath caressing the flesh._

_Being pinned to the sand with out being able to move Spencer listened to the waves and wind while Ashley's soft breathing burned her skin. Her mouth dry from being so close to the girl she loved. Her eyes growing heavy from lack of sleep and food, finally in this place she felt safe and cared for and before she knew it she was deep asleep and Ashley lay on top of her watching the peaceful expression on Spencer's face._

With out being able to hold her breath any longer her mouth opened for air only to receive salt water dripping down her throat. Everything that she had done, memories even from before...home movies of her parents and brothers, friends from Ohio, parties and late nights at Ashley's house. Slowly her eyes closed, she could feel Aiden pulling yanked away from her but the dizziness was too much to bare, the pain in her chest restricting her thoughts and actions. Her body shaking to gain any amount of oxygen, but only exceeded in taking in my water. It felt like cement had been put in her blood and muscles, thru the darkness of her mind she felt a rough tug on her wrist causing her body to jerk forward.

Ashley watches the EMT pull Spencer and Aiden out of the ocean. A minute earlier she had been released from her prison on the pillar, her immediate reaction was to swim over to the two and knock Aiden out but the men who rescued her held her back tightly. Sand coated Spencer's body, which seemed lifeless from this distance. A woman began CPR and for a brief moment Ashley was jealous of the woman with her lips upon Spencer's but then again she felt relief as she watched Spencer's body jerk up and water spew from her mouth and dribble down her chin to soak her all ready wet t shirt.

Shivering from the cold even with a grey itchy blanket on, _don't these guys ever use real blankets...I mean these things look comfortable in television but damn there not,_ "Are you all right?" She twisted her head to stare at a tall African American officer, his eyes were gray but soft.

Ashley nodded before turning her attention back to Spencer who was being loaded into an ambulance, "Is she going to be all right?"

"Yes, she'll be fine...do you know her?" It sounded like he added it as an after thought but she knew he was trying to get information out of her.

"Yea, she's..." The brunette allowed a small smile to grace her lips as the siren lights covered her in red and blue, "My girlfriend."

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Sorry guys about the late update kind of didn't know where to go but this is long and I think it is pretty good so please read and review and I hope you enjoy.

Ashley paced in the hospital room waiting for Spencer to wake up; she replayed the events in her mind over and over again. When Spencer broke up with her, crying all night in her bedroom while Aiden held her and told her it was going to be okay..._Aiden!_

The brunette rushed down to the nurse's station, "Um excuse me do you know what happened to Aiden Dennison?"

The nurse, an over sized version of Marilyn Monroe, chewed her gum rather loudly as she flipped thru some charts, "Are you family?"

"He's my...well, I know him..."

"I'm sorry Miss I can't tell you any thing." The nurse than turned her back on Ashley like she didn't exists.

"Miss. Davies?" She spun around to face the same officer from the beach. His name was Alex Dielex, medium build a scar below his chin which stood out against his dark skin, "You were wondering about Mr. Dennison?"

"Yes, what happened to him?"

"He should be fine; the doctors have pumped his stomach. Guards have been posted out side his room, as soon as someone clears him he'll be transferred over to country jail for attempted murder..."

"Miss. Davies," a young nurse spoke, "Sorry for interrupting but Miss. Carlin is awake and asking for you."

"Thank you," Ashley spun on her heel yet again and rushed back to Spencer's room..._I can't believe he tried...no he was just drunk...did he really try to kill us?_ Ashley shook her head to clear her mind of her once long time best friend trying to kill her. Inside the room, Spencer lay on the bed looking at a doctor standing near her with a chart, without saying a word Ashley quickly slipped into a chair.

"Spencer may I ask what you were doing up on that pier before the accident?" The doctor stared her down.

"Accident, bullshit that asshole tried to kill me!" The blond screamed, Ashley scooted closer grabbing her lovers hand but the younger girl pulled away.

"I understand that but I still need to know..." 

Spencer sat up straighter; "Know what...if I was going to kill myself, huh?" he nodded causing her roll her eyes, "No I wasn't trying to kill myself."

"Then why..."

"To think!" Spencer interrupted the doctor yet again; he was starting to lose his patients.

"Why think there?"

"It's deserted, how many people you know that hang out on the bad side of the pier. Not a lot, I knew I could be alone. But then Ashley and Aiden...guess I do know a few who hang out on the wrong side of the pier." Spencer scoffed, really pissed at the whole situation. When she pulled away she saw the pain in Ashley's eyes but at the moment didn't care.

"Well we still have to put you on suicide watch for the next week and you'll be staying here..."

"Hell no, I'm not staying in this hospital..." Spencer struggled to get up but Ashley was slightly holding her down.

"Please don't make me restrain you Miss. Carlin," The doctor said matter of fact and Spencer hated him more but she stopped fighting Ashley to get up. He left the two girls alone in silence. Neither knowing what to say to the other, the blond was just mad and the brunette was truly freaked out by the younger girl's behavior.

"So..."

"So what?" Spencer harshly asked not in the mood for pleasantries.

"Don't..." Ashley stared the blond down, "don't push me away again."

"I'm sorry," Ashley pushed the girl over and crawled on to the bed with her wrapping her arms around her girl's waist.

"Don't be sorry just don't do it," the brunette kissed the blonde's forehead, "So are we...like together again?"

Spencer stared at the blanket in front of her for a minute, did she really want to say yes just to be yanked away again and put Ashley thru it..._wait does any one in those other realities even know I'm gone...I doubt it so the Ashley here wouldn't miss me either_, "Yea" the word was whispered.

Ashley placed two finger's under Spencer's chin to make the girl look at her, softly she kissed her with as much love as she could throw into a kiss, "Hey...since you're stuck here for a couple days," Ashley smiled when she heard Spencer groan, "Why don't I rent some movies and we have a little watch-a-thon when I get back?"

"But that means you have to leave,"

"Yes but I'll be back," Ashley slipped out of the bed, "I love you." Than she walked out leaving Spencer alone in the room. Muscles and limbs tired beyond compare Spencer decided to take a small nap while waiting; staring out the window into the sky she felt her eyes drifting close.

A loud groaning sound of metal wheels scraping against the floor brought her eyes springing back open, she tried to move but her body was pinned. Blue eyes glanced down to see her legs and arms were secured to the bed, laughing seemed to start from everywhere and nowhere at the same time, bouncing off the walls to her ears. The room was darker than when she shut her eyes, much to dark to see anything.

"Who's there?" she called as the laughing went left to right to in front of her and behind her. Shifting to a new place every time she turned to look at where it was coming from.

"Little Spencer's been a bad girl," the voice said thru the laughter. She yanked at the chains, trying desperately to free herself.

"What do you mean? Who are you?" she shouted into the darkness, hoping beyond anything someone would come in and save her.

"What do you want me to be?" in the corner Spencer saw the darkness move. There was a darker shape, like a human, standing there staring at her, than it shifted and disappeared into the blackness again.

"I want you to leave me alone!"

The figure shifted again into view only this time it took shape, light came out of nowhere from the ceiling drenching the figure in a soft glow, "If that's what you want..."

"No..." Spencer felt the tears sliding down her cheeks as she watched the sorrowful

Ashley walk into the dark, "Ashley I wasn't talking to you...Come back, come back..." the blond said over and over again. Shutting her eyes, trying to wish her girlfriend back, her voice weakening with every word. The restraints keeping her firmly in place.

"Now don't be such a baby," the blond opened her eyes to stare at her father. Arthur stood where Ashley had been moments earlier.

"Dad help,"

"Dad help, dad I love her...quite you're whining. You think you have problems, wake up Spencer every one has problems only you don't see us crying about it do you?"

"Stop...daddy," Spencer didn't know what to say. This man wasn't her father, her father wasn't mean and callous, her father's eyes lit up with life and energy this man's eyes were dim and cold.

"God Spencer grow up," He said walking out of the light.

"No come back, I'm sorry...I'll do better, I won't complain!" she called after him. She didn't care if he beat her at this point, her heart was racing and her palms were sweating. The darkness was getting closer, chest restricting, pain surging thru her body like needles, she wanted somebody there to hold her, tell her it was going to be all right, any thing but the coldness she felt.

"Spencer," the light shifted along with her eyes...there stood her mother in a white doctor's outfit. Her long blond hair tied back into a loose pony tail and her blue eyes bright with color Spencer had never seen before. It was memorizing the way the orange and red swirled in with her mother's blue, Spencer felt like she was staring into a drowning sunset.

"Mom," her words were little more than a whisper as her throat constricted and mouth went dry.

"Shhh, honey it'll all be okay..." Paula moved close to her daughter, leaning down but not quite touching, her mother's breathe dancing across her ear, "Just let go baby..."

"Mom, I don't understand..." Spencer choked out thru the heart wrenching sobs controlling her quivering body now, "Why won't you touch me?" she begged trying to arch her body off the body and touch her mother, to find the warmth she was seeking, the comfort she needed but still alluded her.

"Let everything go and I'll touch you," Paula whispered calmly. Her words soothing Spencer's mind, it made the pain go away and the emptiness vanish but it made the coldness grow more. The room felt like it dropped at least thirty degrees, "Everything is going to be just fine..." ten more degrees, "We're waiting Spence..." nine more, "Just set your mind free honey and come back to me..." seventeen degrees, Spencer was shivering with no way to cover up.

"Mommy please?" the teen pleaded unsure of what was going on.

"Release your life and come back, breathe easier...have fun,"

Spencer cocked her eyebrow, staring at her mother with full blown curiosity, "Release my life, what does that mean?"

"We don't have time for your petty cries child; do as your mother told you!" Arthur stepped into the light right along side his wife.

"Arthur hush, its okay Spencer...its okay," Paula said as calm as possible chilling the young girl even more. Her mind in disarray, images, sounds, the laughing was back, and her body tingled.

"I don't want you to leave," Ashley's cried to her left. Spencer swung her head in that direction, Ashley was sitting in a chair near the bed with her head in her hands, the light drenching her. Her hair was loose around her face, the t shirt she wore old, the jeans ripped and faded, the girl seemed half alive than before.

"I don't want to leave!" Spencer called over, a sudden heat wave washed over her melting the coldness for only a second before it came back full blast.

"I'm sorry for everything, I love you...please, I don't even know what to say." Ashley rocked slowly oblivious to her girlfriend trying to call out to her, to reassure her she's not going anywhere.

"Ashley...Ashley..."

"Don't waste your time on her," Paula began in the same soothing tone that made her body tense, "You know she's not talking to you right?"

"What...what do you mean?" Spencer asked, her eyes searching the brunette than over to her parents.

"You really think she'd choose you, that's hilarious!" Arthur began laughing, doubled over holding his sides as if it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.

"She picked Aiden?"

"Forget about her and come back to your family, we love you sweetie and just want to see you happy." Paula smiled warmly but somehow it felt fake and forced to Spencer who kept eyeing her parents.

"Did she pick Aiden?" she asked a little more forcefully.

"Does it really matter, she's going to leave you in the end and you know that." Arthur growled at how stubborn his daughter was being. Spencer lowered her eyes to the bed, did she know that in the end the girl would leave her. In every place she went Ashley was the constant, the remaining factor that never changed.

"Dear God," Spencer whipped her eyes toward the brunette who had pulled the chair even closer to the bed, her hand reaching out to clasp over Spencer's only to pass through flesh and bones causing warmth to spread over her. Ashley kept her hands there as if she was holding the blonde's hand, "I know I don't prey...or believe in you...that was all ways Spencer's thing and my life has never lead me to think there was anything but ourselves but she changed me...for the better she showed me...oh God did she show me. She came into my world and the colors brightened, the music blasted, people became more real for me. I don't deserve her and I've done nothing for you to show any mercy on me but please...let her wake up, she's good...she prays at night and eats her vegetables even though she hates them and all ways makes a face...she loves her family, me and only you know why but I do love her. I didn't mean to run away to Aiden, it was easier to talk to him about her...she had her father or Clay I had him, I just..." Ashley broke down crying, "I just love her so much...please...God please make her better...please," soon the brunette couldn't even talk the crying got so bad.

"Don't cry," Spencer tried to move but the restraints held fast, she needed to show the girl she was there, she just didn't know how. Her grief turned to anger as she turned to face her parents, "You said she wasn't talking to me!"

"She's not; she's talking to him..." Paula pointed up to the ceiling her face showing disgust, "How can that retch even think of talking to the holy man himself..."

Spencer felt her blood boiling, her skin crawling, how can some one talk about Ashley like that when the girl was pouring her heart out, beaten and broken, trying desperately to show the world a person it could be proud of, a person Spencer could be proud of and she was, "How dare you!" she screamed.

"Excuse me?" Paula's eyes flashed and Spencer watched the sunset turn to sunrise.

"You heard me; I have sat back and let you rip on her day in and day out. I am sick of it you hear me, if you ever say a word about her to me again like you just did I will beat you so far down the chain not even God himself will want to save you from the devil." Spencer didn't know where these words were coming from back the devastated look on both her mom and dad's faces kept her going, "I love her and will stay with her forever if she let's me. You talk about love and God and family but you have no clue what those things are. She has been pushed around by people as bigoted as you yet she still manages to try to be nice and push past every hurtful word, she tries to live while you...you are dieing."

The more she yelled the more her parents disappeared into the darkness, fading into the black until finally she was alone with the brunette crying in the cry. She still didn't know how to get the teens attention; her eyes grew heavy as the emotional and physical pain took hold. Closing her eyes for a minute, trying to fight the haziness taking over. Finally she forced them open, the light around Ashley was gone but now Spencer could see the hospital room clearly, the darkness was gone. Sweaty warmth enveloped her hand, glancing down she saw Ashley had a tight grip on her hand instead of it laying on the bed moments earlier.

She went to open her mouth but nothing came out, her eyes still wanting to close. She needed to find a way to tell Ashley she was all right, groggy...tired...in pain...but all right. Quickly she squeezed the hand holding hers, Ashley's head shot up off the mattress and her body soon followed knocking over the chair.

"Spencer...you're awake, oh thank you..." Ashley shouted to the ceiling and if Spencer had any strength she would have laughed, "How do you feel? Never mind stupid question, you've been in a coma for a month, how do you feel...stupid," Ashley stopped rambling when the blond squeezed her hand again. Their eyes locked, blue on brown, an intense gaze flowing between them and Ashley knew Spencer probably hated her for what went down at prom, with Aiden, she knew the younger girl was going to kick her out of the room by saying...

"I love you," Spencer coughed. Ashley wasn't expecting that.

"Doctor!" Ashley screamed, "I need to find you're doctor..." the brunette ran from the room leaving Spencer to stare after her. Tears crawled on her cheeks as the emptiness drifted back in, Ashley busted back into the room and wiped the tears away, "Sorry...got excited...I love you too." She leaned down and placed her lips on the girl lying in the bed. It was short but full of passion than Ashley pulled away, "I really need to get your doctor."

Spencer nodded which sent Ashley screaming down the hallway once more, this time the blond did have the energy to smile. But it soon faded as the images, the realities, the emotions blended together into one incoherent fog bank being pushed to the back of her mind until she was left to wonder what she was doing in the hospital, the only thing remaining in her mind was that if Ashley said it was her and not Aiden she'd take the brunette back with 100 of her heart.

"Spencer, glad your awake..." she glanced up to see the doctor and Ashley reappear, a shy smile crossed the younger girl's face as she stared at her girlfriend, whose face had a similar smile, "Let's check your vitals..."

TBC.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: the next chapter will probably be the end to this story...

Spencer spent the rest of summer locked in the hospital, working on restoring her energy. She had been shot in the lower stomach and her right leg, the pain and nightmares made it hard to sleep but Ashley and her family was there from the beginning, day in and day out. Turns out she'd been in a coma for a month in a half, but the weirdest thing besides the constant nightmares of a man named Cal kidnapping her or her parents fighting or drowning in the sea or bullets and blood that she seemed to never remember when she woke up was that her mom and Ashley were getting along.

"Hey," Spencer turned her head away from the window in which she'd been staring out since last night, not able to sleep.

"Ash," Ashley smiled before sitting in a chair near the bed, "I thought my dad was coming in?"

"He is I just wanted to stop by, is that okay?" the blond nodded but stayed silent before turning her attention back to the window, "You sleep last night?" Ashley asked noticing the dark circles under her girlfriend's eyes; the girl was trying to be strong, not wanting to show how weak she was.

"No, hey so I'm getting out of the hospital tomorrow..."

"Nice subject change, your getting better at it." Ashley stood up and sat on the bed, leaning forward brushing some loose strands of hair behind Spencer's ear, "You excited?"

"Sort of, I can't believe I spent the summer asleep."

"Yeah well, it wasn't fun anyway so no big," Spencer intertwined her hand with Ashley's before kissing every knuckle, "Seriously are you okay?"

"I'm afraid..."

"Of what?"

"Going back to school, I know it's stupid..."

"No it's not; I'm actually not looking forward to it either." Ashley assured her.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean we just got you back and well I know we haven't talked about what happened at prom..."

"Ashley,"

"Listen okay, I have been sitting here non stop hoping for the best. I barely spoke to Kyla or anyone else. I haven't seen Aiden since that night, and now I have to go to school and listen to the rumors or hell see him and you know he's going to want to talk and I do owe it to him I just don't want you..." her rant was short lived as Spencer placed a finger to her lips.

"Look you want to talk to him go ahead, you want him to be your friend fine, I won't stand in the way of that. You deserve to have friends and family outside of me even if I still want you all to myself, but I can't forgive Aiden right now and I don't want to talk to him." Spencer scowled, just the mention of his name made her stomach churn which made the pain from her wound surge thru her body.

"Hey you two," Arthur stepped inside not giving Ashley enough time to have the Aiden talk with Spencer.

"Dad..."

"Mr. C,"

"You hungry?" Her asked holding up a bag of food.

"Yeah, I hate this hospital food." Spencer sat up further, grimacing as her stomach muscles contracted.

"Take it easy, I don't know how many times we have to tell you." Arthur laid his hand on her shoulder, "We don't need them keeping you any long then they all ready have."

"Sorry," her blue eyes keep focus on the food bag than on her father.

"I'll see you later," Ashley kissed Spencer than hugged Arthur.

"You still picking me up for school?"

"I'll be bright and early Monday morning," Ashley smirked before leaving.

"So...what'd you get me?" Spencer clapped her hands rubbing them together. The two ate in silence for awhile, each to their own thoughts.

"So uh, Glen left last night for boot camp..."

"What he didn't even say good bye!" Spencer's voice rose a bit.

"He wanted to sweetie but they called suddenly and visiting hours was over and you were asleep. But he said he'd call you as soon as he could." Arthur was afraid to tell her about her mom and him, this was hard enough with the shooting and her in the coma, "Honey I need tell you something,"

"Sure what is it?" her eyes bright and shining, she loved talking to her father. He always made her feel safe and loved.

"Your mother and I are getting a divorce," he blurted out knowing that if he stumbled over his words it would make her more upset.

"Why?" She screamed, "It's because of me isn't it?"

"No Spencer it's not..."

"It's because I like Ashley, but I thought they were getting along."

"Spencer..." 

"I don't know what else to do..." Arthur jumped up throwing his hand over her mouth, her blue eyes staring at shock at the fast motion of her father.

"Kids always think their to blame," He whispered to himself, "Spencer it's not your fault."

Her mouth started moving under his hand, a smile crept up his face, "What?" he asked removing his hand from her mouth.

"Yes it is, you guys were fine in Ohio and before I told you I was gay...it couldn't have been Clay he's to good and Glen well it just has to be me." He placed his hand back over her mouth shutting her up.

"It's not, your mother...she was cheating on me." He watched her blue eyes cloud over in confusion, "That's right Spence it was her fault she cheated on me. It wasn't your fault; we've been drifting away from each other for a while even in Ohio, we just hid it much better from you kids."

She mumbled into his hand again, trying not to laugh he removed his hand, "It's not my fault?" she asked. His heart broke for her, so much happening in only a couple months.

"It's not your fault," he repeated quietly. She leaned forward fast, wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him as tight as possible, the pain in her stomach causing tears to spring out, "It's not your fault..." he repeated rubbing her back till she fell asleep. Laying her back down he kissed her forehead and left for the night.

TBC.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: okay so this isn't going to end. I lost my inspiration but it's back so i think i'll keep it going for a few more chapters, not sure how many but a couple for sure. and i know this one is short but its just a quick update, the next one is going to deal with Ashley at her house.

Spencer was home, in bed, alone. She couldn't do much, barely able to hobble around on her leg, her stomach still aching with every movement. Her family went out to eat as a celebration of Glen graduating but Spencer didn't want to go, she still couldn't eat that much and felt sick but insisted the rest of the family go and have fun. So now she was alone, in the dark because she felt too weak to actually get up and turn the light on. Spencer didn't understand her feelings as of late, the doctors had her take psychological tests for people in comas and disability injuries often became depressed. And maybe she was but she managed to pass all the tests, manipulate the answers to please the doctors.

Her heart restricted, she didn't like being away from Ashley and she felt utterly stupid for that feeling. Who can't go without seeing somebody more than a few hours? Spencer couldn't and it drove her crazy. The darkness seemed to grow and for some odd reason she became afraid of the dark after the incident where as before she loved laying there in the silence of the night, it was so peaceful but now it scared the hell out of her. Spencer stared at her ceiling, when she woke up everything was suppose to be okay. She and Ashley are working things out and all the thoughts of the brunette running off with Aiden had totally abandoned her mind, she no longer felt threatened by him.

Every thing was her fault, it was irrational, she knew it but it didn't stop running thru her mind because of that thought. The shooting was her fault, her parents' breaking up was her fault, Ashley running off to talk to Aiden more than her was her fault, and the war in Iraq was her fault. Irrational yes, she knew it. How could she possibly start a war in a third world country from all the way over here? She didn't know but it was her fault.

Her body was shaking with little tremors; sweat glistened on her pale white skin, her breathing erratic and her lungs burned. She didn't know what to do, she wanted the light on but couldn't move, she needed to hear a voice but no one was home, she wanted warm arms wrapped around her but there was no flesh. Spencer wanted to be strong, she couldn't burden her parents, they were busy dealing with divorce and each other, Glen was gone, in the army and she never knew when she'd get to talk to him. Clay was dealing with Chelsea and a baby on the way and having to figure out college and money. Then there was Ashley, she wanted to call but not. She was afraid that if she clung to the brunette pulled her close and showed her fears and weakness than Ashley would pull away and again it would be her fault.

Spencer felt the tears building but refused to cry, the tremors getting worse which shook her bruised belly making the pain worse. She reached her hand out to the night table, grabbing her phone, she couldn't take it any more, the darkness the cold the silence. She pressed speed dial 1 and waited...waiting...tears began to spill as she pleaded for someone to pick up...waiting...

"Hello?"

"I need you, I'm sorry to call but I need you here, I need someone here right now. Make the darkness go away, it's so dark..." Spencer ranted into the phone, calming down slightly only when the familiar voice told her that they'd be there as soon as possible and hanging up. Now she waited again, in the darkness, in the silence.

TBC.


	24. Chapter 24

Ashley sat in her room, pretty much since Friday. She left the hospital room still not getting to talk about Aiden and prom, that's all she wanted right now was to sit with Spencer had have a nice decent long talk about everything that went on.

"Hey you hungry?" Kyla asked from the door way, watching her sister sulk was never fun. Since Spencer woke up the two sisters' have talked more, hung out, and slept in each others bed when ever the other was afraid or sad.

"Actually yeah I am" Ashley scooted over so Kyla could join her on the bed. The younger Davies ran and pounced on the bed causing Ashley to sway back and forth, "You are such a goof ball."

"That's why you love me," Kyla sighed close to Ashley face before planting her self next to her sister.

"Sure love child sure, any ways..."

"What's wrong?"

"Huh, who said anything was wrong, I thought we were talking food here not problems." Ashley glanced at her sister hoping they weren't to close yet for Kyla to just look at her and know something was up, but they were at that point.

"Right food...later, what's up with you? I thought you were happy, you know Spence woke up, took you back, no fights." 

"That's it..." Ashley pointed to her sister who cringed back at how loud her voice got.

"What's it Ash?"

The older girl brushed her hair out of her face, "The no fights thing."

"You want to fight?" Kyla asked cautiously not knowing where this conversation could be going since she brought it up.

"Yes...no...arrrg..." Ashley stood and paced, growling into the quietness of her room. Kyla just watches her sister pace back and forth, her facial features distorting like she was waging a war inside, "It's like everything is too perfect. She quiet, I mean really quiet and you know her she hates being quiet especially if it isn't comfortable."

"Maybe she thinks it is comfortable..."

"No, if you are in the room with us you'd be able to feel the tension. I want to talk to her, bring up the whole prom incident but she always changes the subject or someone walks in on us. I want to talk care of her but she's pushing me away and I don't even think she realizes it and that's what's scares me."

"Maybe you're reading too much into it and why would you want to take care of her she's old enough to take care of her self."

"No Kyla I don't want to take care of her like that, it's just...God I don't know how to explain. It's like if I help her, take care of her I'm healing myself...does that make any sense at all?" Ashley asked flopping back down on the bed after running a hole in her floor by pacing.

"I guess, sort of." Kyla shrugged her shoulders while picking up her ringing phone and holding her finger up to tell her sister she'd be a minute before walking out of the room and flipping the phone open, "Hello?"

"I need you, I'm sorry to call but I need someone here right now. Make the darkness go away, it's so dark..." Spencer frantic voice cried thru the phone.

"Okay Spencer calm down, I'll be there in just a minute okay?" Kyla closed her phone before racing back into Ashley's room.

"So what kind of pizza...what's wrong?" Ashley asked laying the menu's of different places on her bed.

"Spencer just called me, she's wigging out big time."

"Why'd she call you and not me?" Ashley scrunched her forehead up in concentration.

"I don't know you can ask her when we get there," Kyla threw Ashley the keys.

"Me?"

"She is your girlfriend and I have a feeling she called me cause she knew you'd be with me," Kyla smiled which made her sister smile back and the two hopped into the car, rushing to get to Spencer.

TBC.


	25. Chapter 25

The car drove up into the Carlin driveway; the two Davies' sister's stared at the house. All the lights were off and there were no cars, it seemed as if no one was home. Ashley and Kyla made their way to the front door and knocked, no answer, no sound but the echo of the knock itself. Worry etched itself into their hearts, Kyla rang the door bell and still no answer. Ashley tried the door, it was locked. Reaching in her pocket she pulled out her car keys which had a spare key to the Carlin family home.

"Hello?" Kyla asked as Ashley shut the door; the house was eerily quiet and dark, so unnatural for this family.

"Spence?" Ashley called out. They made their way upstairs, to the teen's door. The door creaked open dowsing the room in the light of the hall way the two sisters' had turned on, "Spencer?" Ashley turned the light on in the room to find her girlfriend huddled on the bed. The covers kicked to the floor, sweat glistening off her body as she shivered violently, arms protectively wrapped around her stomach and ribs.

"Spencer," Kyla raced over along with Ashley, "Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry...Why are you here?" she asked once she saw Ashley pulling the covers off the floor and toward her.

"I want to help," Ashley sadly laid the covers over Spencer.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to know..." she cried leaning into the brunette, wrapping her arms around the older girl's waist.

"Shhh, baby it's okay. What didn't you want me to know?" Ashley stroked blond hair off Spencer's sweaty forehead, it felt like the teen was freezing yet her body glistened as if she'd been running a marathon.

"It's all my fault," Spencer wailed into Ashley's side over and over again.

"What's all your fault?" Kyla asked watching the blond crumble, it was weird. To Kyla Spencer had all ways been tough, cool and collected, sure she had her moments of freaking out but what teen didn't but this...this was way beyond normal teenage hormones.

"Everything, it's all my fault..." Spencer cried harder than she could remember, Ashley all most couldn't breathe with how tight her girlfriend was holding on. The Davies' sister's tried for an hour to get Spencer to calm down or explain what she meant but all efforts were useless. Finally two hours later she was down to a few sniffles here and there but still refused to loosen her grip even a smidgen on Ashley who felt like her waist was slowly falling asleep.

"Hey, what about a movie and some ice cream?" Kyla piped up thinking the best thing for everyone is to have a little fun, watch movies, eat junk food, and forget about all their troubles.

"That sounds great, how bout it Spence?"

Spencer only nodded, "Okay it's settled. I'll run down the street, the stores what like a block away..." Kyla widened her eyes to tell Ashley she'll walk and give the two some time alone, "Any ideas on movies?"

"Comedy or family, Spencer loves the animation movies...right?" Ashley ran her fingers calmly thru blond locks still feeling Spencer shiver every once in a while.

"Yeah," her voice was no more than a weak whisper.

"Sure, okay...how bout Happy Feet? Have you seen that yet?" Kyla wondered rubbing the small of Spencer's back in soft soothing motions.

"No," Kyla smiled down at the teen before standing up, Spencer latched on to her wrist holding her in place, "Thank you."

"No problem," Kyla grinned before closing the door behind her. Outside the night air cooled her off; she was slightly shaken over seeing one of her friends like that. The girl had gone thru so much with finding out she's gay, falling in love, getting shot, spending a month in a coma, _No wonder she's freaking out now...she was over due_. The walk seemed to take forever, but she made it and in record time too, each step taking her further into her thoughts. She entered the store, went down the many rows of movies, searching for a couple to lighten the mood. Kyla picked four out, one being Happy Feet and headed for the check out only to realize she'd forgotten her purse in Ashley's car.

Sighing she placed the movies on the counter and reached for her cell phone luckily placed in her back pocket. Kyla dialed Ashley's cell but there was no answer for in their rush Ashley had forgotten her phone at home, growling she flipped it shut than opened it again and called Spencer's cell, still no answer because unknown to Kyla Spencer had forgotten to charge her phone and was lucky to make the call to Kyla earlier without it dieing on her, "This is just ridicules..." she thru her hands up in frustration. Taking a deep breath she dialed the Carlin residence...

"Hello?" the deep voice asked into the receiver.

"Oh, hey Mr. Carlin it's Kyla."

"Hi, are you looking for Ashley cuz I saw her car outside when I pulled up."

"Yeah, I actually came with her. Spencer was freaking out...well not doing so good and she called me, you should probably talk to her like as a psychologist not like a dad or a dad psychologist or whatever I'm rambling any ways I walked to the store to get some movies and snacks for a little movies night and well I forgot my purse in Ashley's car and need her to come get me." Kyla breathed out, the first reply she got was laughing. Mr. Carlin was laughing at her.

"I needed that," He snickered, "Look why don't I come get you. If Spence was freaking out as you put it than she probably needs some alone time with Ashley,"

"What about the rest of the family?" Kyla wondered as she waved off an annoying young jock who was trying to hit on her even though she was on the phone.

"After the dinner Glen went off with Madison and Clay is talking with Chelsea and her parents and Paula had an emergency at the hospital so it's just me. You don't mind me coming to get you do you?"

"No not all..."

"Okay so where exactly are you?" He asked as he searched his pockets for his keys.

"I'll be right outside Blockbusters, down the street."

"Then I'll see you in a minute." Arthur hung up and proceeded to get back in the car and pick up the youngest Davies'.

"Huh, babe not like I don't like you holding me but your sort of putting my lower half to sleep." Ashley joked, Spencer quickly back pedaled away, "No sweetie I didn't mean it like...are you okay now?"

Spencer shrugged her shoulders, "I'm fine...thanks," she stood up and walked into her closet, getting undressed and searching for her pajamas if nothing was wrong. As if she hadn't flipped out because it was dark and called her girlfriend's sister to come help.

"So um...well...I was just wondering...why, well um why you called Kyla instead of me?" Ashley chocked out, her fingers messing with the blankets on Spencer's bed her eyes focusing on the stitches instead of her girlfriend.

"It's no big deal," Spencer threw on pajama bottoms and a black wife beater.

"No, I know it's not...just...um, well did you not think I'd come running or something?" Ashley was having a hard time, her mind working in over time. She couldn't understand why Spencer didn't call her or ask her for help.

"I knew you'd come," Spencer sat down and pried Ashley's hand off the blanket and into hers.

"Then why?" Spencer couldn't believe the way Ashley was acting, she was stuttering over her words, afraid to ask, and when she said those two words Spencer heard the sorrow and tears in them.

"Ashley..." she was at a loss for words. She herself didn't exactly know why she didn't call her, why she didn't want her girlfriend, the one she feels like she can't be separated from for more than a minute to be the one to help her. The closer she wanted Ashley, the farther she wanted Ashley, "I...I don't know."

"Can you explain it?" Ashley asked gaining her courage to stare at the baby blue eyes she loves so much.

"It's hard," Spencer tried to get up and move away but Ashley grabbed her wrist making her sit still.

"I know it is baby but can you try?" the brunette knew the longer Spencer kept it bottled in the harder it would be to explain or keep sane.

Sighing Spencer broke their eye contact, searching her brain for a decent explanation to what was going on with her. Before she could open her mouth and speak, a loud sonic boom seemed to shake the windows. The two girls stared at each other for a moment trying to understand where that sound had come from, a second later they were out on the lawn staring at the burning wreckage of an upside down car.

Ashley's legs collapsed from underneath her body at the sight of twisted metal, blood on the windows, flames licking at the wounds. Her heart was pounding, her mind clouding, tears streaming down her face.

Spencer didn't fall, she felt calm as she watched her neighbors piling out of their suburban homes to see that not all was right in their perfect little world. Her blue eyes glanced at Ashley who was crying on the ground, back to the wreck, sirens shot thru the night coming to a halt in front. The flames were soon put out and the people extracted from the cars and that's when it happened. That's when her eyes finally adjusted to see the figures being loaded, why Ashley was crying, Spencer came back to the world hard as her father and Kyla covered in blood and glass were being escorted away from the scene.

The sounds, the sight, the smells, the pain in her stomach and leg from walking down the stairs and out side was all too much as her eyes rolled back leaving her in her new nightmare of darkness.

TBC.


	26. Chapter 26

Ashley sat in the hard chair, eyes shut, head leaning back on the wall behind her. If Glen hadn't come home when he did she didn't know what she would have done. Her sister and girlfriend's father being loaded up, Spencer passing out, things just got worse and worse and there was no way out of the never ending tunnel.

Running her hands thru her auburn hair she opened her eyes to stare at the blond seemingly sleeping peaceful in the hospital bed, the key word seemingly. Paula was standing in the door way with dry tears caked on her cheeks, her blue eyes turning red and puffy; she stared at her daughter with no emotion which scared Ashley.

"Mom?" Spencer's voice was hoarse and her eyes slightly blurry. Paula walked over to her daughter, just staring down. Her anger boiling up till her palm slicked across Spencer's pale cheek, lips trembling Spencer brought her now clear eyes to her mother's, "Mom?"

"You killed him," Was all the woman said before stalking out of the room. Spencer's eyes widened, flicking over to Ashley who was staring out the door in shock at what she just witnessed.

"I...my fault?" Ashley snapped out of her daze at the sound of her girlfriend chocking on her words. Quickly she rushed over and crawled on the bed, pushing the blond back, laying her body flat.

"NO!" Ashley said sternly, but deep down she did feel some resentment toward the fragile girl but her love for Spencer beat that thought away quickly to leave only pure thoughts of helping Spencer and herself thru this.

"What did she mean, killed him, who?" Spencer asked from her position under Ashley, being forced to lie still which was somewhat a blessing with how much pain her stomach was in.

"Spencer?" Clay called from the doorway; there he stood with Glen by his side. Ashley crawled off Spencer deciding on leaving for a while to give the siblings a chance to talk.

"Ash?"

"I'll be back," she kissed the blonde's forehead, nodded to the brothers and as she passed Glen brushed his hand against hers, their eyes locked telling each other how sorry or grateful they were for the other. It sort of threw her off, Glen was the one brother she could count on to bash her for loving his sister or being gay but in this moment, even if he goes back to being obnoxious, she will remember the caring guy hidden behind those blue eyes.

She made her way thru the corridors, past nurses' stations and other rooms. The smell of bleach and sterilized equipment burning her nose and throat. Ashley stood outside room 390, her hand hesitated for a second before she pushed it open and walked inside. Kyla lay asleep in the bed, casts around both her legs, patches all over her body where she had been burned. Bruises, cuts and fractured ribs, two broken legs but she'd live and that was all that mattered. Her sister survived all because the man she was with, her girlfriend's father, the man who had become like a second father to her covered Kyla's body with his own.

"You don't have to stand all the way over there," Kyla tried to smile but the burns on her face heated up as her lips stretched the skin on her face.

"Hey," Ashley grinned as she sat in another hard chair by the bed, _for a hospital where hundreds of people have to sit and wait you'd think their chairs would be more comfortable,_ she thought.

"Are you okay?"

Ashley laughed at that, "Aren't I suppose to ask you that?"

"Nah, you can see my injuries but I can't see what's going on inside that thing you call a brain,"

"I should have driven you, not him."

"Ash stop I chose to walk, I called the house...wait what about Mr. Carlin, is he okay?" Kyla stared down at her sister with wide brown eyes, a tense moment of silence hung in the air.

"Ky he...he didn't make it,"

"What?" Kyla whispered, eyes dropping to the floor, "No...no he has to be fine, he...tell me you're joking?" she pleaded with her older sister.

"I can't,"

"NOOOO," Kyla cried into the hospital room, Ashley again jumped from the chair to hug her sister. The two sat there in that room crying over a great man who had a huge heart, using the last of its strength to save Kyla. Ashley let her tears slid down, knowing she couldn't cry in front of Spencer, she let her guard down along with her sister, so maybe she'd be strong enough to save her girlfriend and their relationship.

TBC.

Next post will be in Spencer's room...


	27. Chapter 27

Spencer watched Ashley walk out of the room leaving her with her brothers. Glen sat in the chair Ashley abandoned while Clay pulled one up to her right side, the room was silent. Each teen trying to come to terms with what happened, Spencer still felt groggy and her face stung from being slapped by her mother for 'killing him' but she didn't know what that meant.

"Did I kill someone?" she asked bluntly drawing her brother's out of what ever thought they were thinking.

"What, why do you think that?" Clay suspiciously eyed his sister.

"Mom, she said I killed him, him who?"

"Do you remember why you're in the hospital?" Glen scooted even closer, wanting to feel warmth from his siblings instead of the coldness taking over ever inch of his body knowing he'll never be able to walk in the door and be greeted by the smiling face of his father, this thought alone sent a single tear down his cheek which he quickly tried to hide but she caught.

"Why are you crying?" Spencer hardly ever saw Glen cry, once when his hamster died because dad forgot to feed it while the group was away at camp, Glen had made a small shoe box coffin for it and said a huge speech good bye while tears spilled down his rosy chubby cheeks, he was only seven at the time. The next time was when he was dumped by his first girlfriend, no one spoke of it till this day, not even their parents, the way she dragged him around like a puppy. Making him do things for her and her friends, Spencer always thought her brother was one of the coolest boyfriend's ever and who ever he ended up with would be lucky, but ever girl just used him till he became one of the users and discarded girls left and right.

"Do you remember why you're here?" Clay asked this time. Spencer glanced down, trying to think.

"I was talking to Ashley, than...OH GOD the wreak, there was an accident, fire...Kyla and dad, are they okay? Wait she said I killed him, oh no Clay...Glen?" she looked back and forth between her two brothers. Each with their own grief written in their eyes, "No tell me, tell me anything but that...TELL ME!" she screamed.

"Spence the doctors tried everything they could," Clay began speaking over her cries.

"No he isn't no...I can't...he's not,"

"Take a deep breath," Glen stood up trying to force his sister to calm down, she was still weak from being shot. She pushed him off her, fiercely shaking her head.

"Don't tell me to breath damn it, don't you care are father...no where is he?" She screamed into the room, two nurses entered staring at the scene. The two boys desperately trying to talk and hold their sister down while she kicked and screamed to see her dad, "Where the fuck is he? I want to see him, NOW!" She grabbed a hold of the tray next to her and hurled it across the room, "NOW...I want to see him!"

"Oh...my...god," Glen breathed out rubbing his temples and brushing his hair back, Clay stood shocked silent, neither closely expecting this kind of reaction as the two nurses rushed forward pinning her down.

"You need to quiet down before we sedate you," the male nurse spoke keeping a firm grip on her shoulders.

"Get off me, I want to see my dad...Clay go get him" her brother stood still tears falling down his cheeks, "Glen...Glen do something damn it!" she called out to her brother's to fix it to make it better, say they were joking.

"Whoa," Ashley walked in. The moment she heard crashing and screaming down the hall she excused herself from Kyla and went into the hall trying to find where it was coming from, wiping her tears away to make sure she was presentable but all those thoughts were pushed away as she realized it had come from Spencer's room. Her feet slammed on the linoleum, all most slipping a few times before sliding into the doorway to see her girlfriend screaming out with two nurses holding her down and a doctor was getting a syringe ready. She glanced at Clay and Glen who stood with their backs against the wall, completely lost in grief and fear, both seemed pale as a ghost. Her brown eyes scanned their bodies till she saw something that made her heart restrict and her breathing shallow out, the brother's were holding hands, each of their knuckles turning white and she knew that both would have sore fingers for a while.

Soon the screaming and crying died down leaving the three teens exhausted and on watch, no one wanting to leave in case Spencer woke up which they knew was unlikely since the doctor had put her out.

"What happened?" Ashley finally found the courage to break the quietness that over took the room.

"She...we told her about dad," Glen looked out the window; he could barely stare at his sister. It was the first time he actually saw her, how broken and weak she was, nothing compared to the girl he knew before prom.

"I'm going to get some thing, I don't know, any one want anything?" Clay stood up, needing to get out of the room and call Chelsea, find some comfort in a person not directly involved in the whole deal.

"No," the other two said in unison.

"Okay," Clay walked out pulling his cell phone out on the way. As soon as it connected he broke down crying, sliding down the wall while trying to explain to the mother of his soon to be child why it wasn't going to know its grandpa.

Back in Spencer's room Glen and Ashley sat, she side glanced him trying to figure out what to say, how to comfort him because she was no good at it. For Spencer she could hold her, or kiss her or whisper it'll be all right but what to do for Glen, the boy who loved to take pot shots at her any time he could. What to do for the guy who tried to secretly protect his little sister from the wild child lesbian or the tough guy who pretended he didn't care?

As if knowing what she was thinking Glen turned toward her, with their chairs right next to each other on the wall, he collapsed into her lap. Laying his head on her legs, bringing his hands around her knees, seeming to crawl into a ball on her. She could feel the tears seeping thru her jeans and after the initial shock of this boy flopping down on her she leaned over and hugged him, rubbing circles on his back.

"It'll be okay," she whispered into his ear over and over again until she felt his breathing even out and he was asleep. Moving her hand off his back she began running it thru his hair, sending warmth to ever part of his body, keeping him in a dreamless state. Keeping her hand moving thru his blond spiky hair she laid her head back on the wall and closed her eyes, trying to take everything in but the one thing she hadn't figured out was how she herself hadn't broke, how she was the one everyone else was leaning on, when did she take over Spencer's roll of the caring sympathetic friend, when did she become the rock?

TBC.


	28. Chapter 28

So the week went by at a crawl. Kyla was released from the hospital but on strict bed rest, only allowed to travel in a wheel chair for short amounts of time. Ashley felt so stretched out between taking care of her sister and taking care of her girlfriend who still hadn't truly grasped the concept of Arthur being dead. She hardly spoke a word or ate.

School came and went and not one Davies' or Carlin attended, wrapped up in their own world of grief to care about an education. Paula stayed in her bedroom; dry tears on his pillow as she held it close, taking in his scent. Sure they were divorcing, yes they had their problems and she did cheat but she loved him. In her twisted way she cared deeply for the man who fathered her children, helped her build a solid stable life.

Now it was time for the funeral, everyone was in their own rooms dressing and contemplating what would happen. Spencer didn't care to dress in black, for that was the color of mourning and she didn't deserve that right, she killed him and killers don't get to be sorry or say good bye. She lay on her bed staring at the ceiling in jeans and nice blouse, no black but she still dressed nicely.

"Time to go!" Paula called as she passed thru the hallway. Glen and Clay exited their room each taking comfort in the other's presence and followed their mother down the stairs, "Spencer!"

Shutting her eyes she tried to think about all the nightmares she'd been having, there was a message hidden deep with in them, she was sure but she could never remember, "Spencer!" this time it was her brother to call.

Sighing she stood up and walked down stairs, the three of them looking at her like she had two heads because she wasn't dressed for a funeral. Shrugging her shoulders she pushed past them and entered the limo, and then they got in. The road seem to stretch out in a quiet desperation they all shared. Up toward the cemetery located ten miles north of where they lived, up on a hill top over looking the valley so maybe just maybe Arthur would look down and keep watch over his family.

The limo stopped and the now non complete family stepped out, clouds began to form over head, _perfect for a day like today_, she thought while the others found their seats out in front. Family and relatives lined the entire lawn, each giving some condolences and each word meaning nothing to her. Mouth suddenly dry she faced the iron gate leading into the cemetery, was she ready to venture in and accept what had happen, what she did...did that sin on her heart make stepping into this sacred ground impossible. Was she hurting her father more by being here?

A warm soft hand slipped into hers, glancing over she saw Ashley dressed in a black silky dress accenting all her curves and Spencer couldn't help it as a smile crossed her lips, _she can even make dressing for a funeral look sexy_.

"Ready?" the soft husky voice Spencer grew to love asked quietly. Ashley's eyes stared at her and Spencer swore her girlfriend could read everything hidden behind her face. The question simply was she ready, no she wasn't. Not even close, she wasn't ready to put her father in the ground, she wasn't ready to say good bye but because it was her fault nobody cared if she was ready, except Ashley, she cared enough to stay by her side outside the iron gates until Spencer had the courage to venture in.

Gripping Ashley's hand harder Spencer glanced up to the iron gate, one step and she would be inside the land of the dead, one step closer to being where she should have been after prom, where her father shouldn't be, "Yeah..."

Ashley didn't believe her one bit, but Spencer started moving forward into the cemetery so Ashley followed. They took their places in the front with the rest of the family and waited for the ceremony to start.

TBC.

**A/N: sorry its short my sister graduated high school today so I have to go to a barbecue thing with the family I'll post more tonight hopefully. The next one will deal with the funeral itself. Please leave comments thanks, those are what keeps the story going oh and if you want to give me ideas to what you want to happen that's great if not that's great too. Thanks for reading.**


	29. Chapter 29

Sad music came to life from the old speakers set up to their right and left giving it a surround sound. The sun drifted in and out of the darkening clouds threatening rain at any time. The family sat unfocused on anything but the dark rose wood coffin in front of them, it was closed casket seeing as how burned and messed up the body had gotten from the fire. Sniffling and cries of sadness spread thru the crowd as the preacher took his spot and recited passages from the bible or said some nice words about the man being laid to rest.

Spencer glanced down the line, first to her mother. She wore a long thick black dress, legs folded and a napkin placed firmly in her hand as it wiped away the tears on her cheeks. The blond realized her mother's blue eyes, the one thing besides the hair color that they shared, were darker more distant. This bringing the fact to attention that maybe her mother still did love her father in some way, at this thought her heart swelled up a bit with joy, then died back down when Ben came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Shaking her head she brought her eyes to Glen who sat next to their mother, his hair slicked down instead of its usual bounce, his black suit moving as he did for he was having a hard time sitting still as his eyes traveled the length of the coffin over and over again. Then to Clay who was sitting next to her, his body stiff and unmoving as if he did move the entire thing would fall apart, the family, his life, not one of her brother's were crying. She chalked it up to the fact that they were boys but what about her, she wasn't crying. All she was doing was staring at her family, then the casket, the preacher, the tree in the distance, the clouds above her than back to her family to start the whole process over again.

Finally the preacher stepped down to allow anyone who wanted to say a few words take his place. Several people, who Arthur helped by being the wonderful social worker he was, came up and retold their stories and how the man helped them out. Glen got up but by the middle of his speech couldn't stop the choked sobs until Clay came up, said a little something than took his brother back to their seats. Spencer was here, but she wasn't, each of the stories went in one ear and out the other until her mother got up to speak.

"Arthur was a wonderful husband and a great father," nine words...the speech was longer and filled with heart wrench cries and stories from the older woman but all Spencer heard was nine words. She couldn't take it, she stood quickly releasing Ashley's hand that had yet to let go even when their hands became sweaty and hot. She walked away, she felt the eyes on her and the disgusted grunts from the people as they talked about how a girl could just leave her father's funeral before it finished.

Stepping out of the iron gate, out of the cemetery she felt sick. Her stomach churned and her head felt light. Spencer didn't know too much at this point in her life, what she did know was she had to get away. Luckily she dressed in jeans and tennis shoes as her feet hit the pavement, she ran. The wind blowing thru her hair as she made her way down the steep hill leading back into the valley. The sky opening its mouth allowing the rain to drizzle down onto her clothes and skin but she didn't care. Her legs kept pumping kept moving even when her body felt like jello. She knew this was dangerous with the injuries she had, her stomach was hurting worse and worse with each step, her shot up leg throbbed painfully as if it was going to drop from beneath her but she ran. Spencer didn't know if she was running from something or to something.

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed across the sky as she collapsed to the hard gravel road, three miles from where the funeral was taking place. She lay on her back, on the side of the road, staring up into the rain up to the sky into the clouds and beyond. Her body shivered, she was freezing and her breathing was labored.

Heavy warmth spread thru her body, she brought her eyes from the sky to stare at deep chocolate orbs. Ashley was lying flat against her, shielding her from the constant water pouring around them, the older girl smiled as her breathing evened out, "You...run...fast..."

"You came after me?" her voice was low.

"Of course," Ashley leaned up on one arm so she could be eye to eye with her girlfriend, reaching out she pushed wet blond hair behind Spencer's ear before leaning down and capturing her lips, "I love you." She said pulling away.

They laid their in silence, neither knew how long but at this point time didn't matter, "Remember when we skipped?"

"You have to be more specific Spence; we've skipped more than once."

"The first time, at the beach." Ashley nodded indicating she did remember, "On our way home you told me you wished you could leave LA, hop on a plane and go anywhere."

"Yeah and you said it was you're first time ditching and skipping the country wasn't a great idea just yet,"

"I'm ready," Ashley had to think for a minute. The words were low and not exactly directed at her but the real question was can Ashley take her away, leave this place and take her girlfriend some place no one knew them, leave their families, this life even for a while.

"We'd have to check out some time,"

"But not now?" Spencer asked, her eyes finally staring straight at Ashley pleading.

"But not now," Ashley assured her. Standing up she held her hand out which Spencer gratefully took. The two started walking the rest of the way down, in the rain, Spencer leaning on Ashley as the pain continued to throb.

An hour or two and the girl's were back at Spencer's house, the blond quickly pulled out a suitcase and started piling clothes in, "Where should we go?"

"Bathroom," Ashley stated.

"We can go anywhere and you want to go to a bathroom?" Spencer cocked her eyebrow causing Ashley to burst out laughing, "What?"

"Wet clothes, need out hence the bathroom." She said between laughter.

"Oh," Spencer shook her head, grabbed some of Ashley's left over clothes and threw it at her.

"Thank you my lady," Ashley winked and exited. Spencer changed as well than went back to packing her bags.

"What's this?" the voice in the door way made Spencer stop and cringe.

"Mom,"

"What...are you running away?" Paula stepped into the room, glancing from the bags to her daughter.

"I...no...yes...um..."

"Why?" Paula pulled the suit case away, turning her daughter, forcing her to look at her, "Why are you leaving?"

"I killed him, you said so yourself. I thought you'd be happy I was leaving."

Paula took a step back, "Honey no you didn't...I was upset, it was happening so fast and when I was told what happened it just...I sort of snapped. I'm sorry if I made you feel even for a second that this was your fault, but Spencer it isn't."

"No mom, it is my fault. All of this!" Spencer yelled while throwing her hands around the room.

"Spence I think you need..." Ashley trailed off as she entered the room to see Paula; "Mrs. C?" the brunette immediately thought she was going to be blamed for this.

"Ashley," Paula nodded before turning back to her daughter, "Sweetie nothing is your fault...you've done nothing wrong."

"Right..." Spencer said sarcastically, "I've done nothing wrong. Bull shit mom, what about being gay huh? Loving Ashley, you tell me it's wrong every day. Tell me I'm messing up this family and what, now that I actually believe you...you want to tell me I'm not to blame. I can't handle this up and down rollercoaster any more," Spencer finished packing and zipped her bags up. Lifting them she headed out of her room but not before turning to her mom, "I can't handle you right now." Then she was outside in Ashley's car, which Clay and driven home since Ashley threw him the keys before chasing after her girlfriend.

Ashley followed but as she passed Paula the woman grabbed her arm, not forcefully or meanly just enough to hold her still, "Take care of her."

"Sure," she didn't say anything after that as Paula brought her into a huge bear crunching hug shocking her to silence.

"I'm really worried; she's emotion unstable right now." Paula whispered in her ear, Ashley nodded her head in the crook of the older woman's neck agreeing that she too knew Spencer was not healthy at the moment, "If you need anything...anything..." Paula pulled away and stared hard into her brown eyes, "Call. I'll be here," she smiled.

"Um thanks," Ashley stuttered not quite sure how to respond to this side of Paula Carlin, mother superior herself. She nodded and headed toward the door but turned back, "Actually...I'll call everyday, tell you what's going on, where we're at, and stuff like that."

"What about school?" Clay asked leaning in the door way.

"I'm going to call the school and explain, you guys can take the year off and home school when you get back. No later than June," Paula warned. She didn't like the idea of her daughter driving off to who knows where but with Ashley's money and Ashley herself there to protect the girl Paula didn't mind too much.

"Thank you," Ashley hugged her again only this time she initiated it before finally leaving the house and getting in her car. The two sat in silence as they drove to Ashley's house, trying to think of where to go and what to do.

TBC.


	30. Chapter 30

Spencer flopped down on Ashley's bed while Ashley went into her closet, bringing out clothes and a few bags.

"So where do you want to go?" The blond wondered staring at the ceiling, lost in her own thoughts.

"I don't know and what am I suppose to do about Kyla?" Ashley folded her clothes into the bag.

"You're right I should apologize to her before we go,"

"Spence," Ashley caught the girl's arm before she could leave the room, "You don't have to apologize to her, you did nothing wrong." The brunette felt like she had become a broken record.

"So I'm hungry, I'll go see if Kyla is...you..." Spencer leaned forward, brushing her lips against Ashley's, "finish packing." A quick peck and she's out the door.

Sighing Ashley finished packing, an hour later Spencer had yet to come back so Ashley went to Kyla's room to see her sister laying on the bed watching television because honestly what else could she do, "Hey Ash...what's up?"

"God how can you be so cheery like that?" the older Davies' asked plopping in the chair next to the bed.

"I don't know, so how was the...um...funeral?"

"It was..." Kyla watched her sister run her hands thru her auburn hair, searching her mind for a word to describe it.

"I bet," she interrupted, "So how's the Carlin's?"

"Didn't you talk to Spencer?" Ashley asked looking around the room, remembering the reason she came in the first place.

"Sort of, she kind of bounded in here asked if I was hungry and the minute I said yes she was out the door."

"Well sad, I don't know how to explain. I'm sorry you couldn't go,"

"Yeah but as soon as I can walk I'm heading up there she...I hate the whole funeral thing any way, watching people cry and things it just makes it sadder and I know Mr. C wouldn't want us to cry."

"I want to talk to you about something," Ashley nervously brought up, shifting her weight back and forth.

"Spencer really needs to get away...well we both do and she's already packed and was having me do the same but I sort of don't want to go. I don't want to leave you, here..." she motioned to the empty room, "by your self."

"From what I saw she's totally avoiding so yeah go ahead, I can call...um, my mom. She's coming up anyway to take care of me so no biggy Ash, really." Kyla smiled although she didn't want her sister to leave either. The two had just started to mend the relationship broken so many months ago.

"Really cuz I don't know how long we'll be gone but I'm going to make it as short as possible." Ashley reached out and held her sister's hand, squeezing it to reassure her she'd be back as soon as possible.

"Go,"

"Thank you," Ashley leaned down and hugged her sister. Taking every inch of her in.

"Pizza's here," Spencer called out as she skipped into the room with a large pizza box and some soda. Ashley and Kyla stared at her for a moment, "What I ordered..." she assured them setting it down on the floor.

"Spence..."

Spencer looked around the room, "Plates and cups...be right back," she cut Ashley off and flew out of the room.

"Go,"

"What?" Ashley turned her attention on her sister who pointed to the door way.

"Go," she said a little more sternly. Ashley didn't have to be told twice, well three times at least. She rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen watching her girlfriend grab three plates from the cupboard.

"Spencer can we talk,"

"Sure, hey can you grab some cups." Ashley walked over and pulled the plates from Spencer's hands and set them on the counter, "Ash?"

"Not later, talk now..." Ashley took a step forward causing Spencer to take one back.

The blond folded her arms around herself, "Okay talk."

"Actually you need to talk, what's going on inside that head of yours?"

"My father just died and you want to know how I feel is that it, great sensitivity there Ash." Spencer yelled tired of people asking her that question.

Ashley saw the girl pulling away and into her self, something Ashley herself did during rough times but neither could do that any more, if they wanted this relationship to work neither could pull away, "You can be sad...angry...upset...whatever but do not I repeat do not think it was your fault. How could it be?" she took two more steps forward.

Spencer backed up till her body ran into the island in the middle of the kitchen blocking her escape path, "How can I not? I was the one who called Kyla, I had you guys come over and if it wasn't for that my dad would never had picked her up and..." her words caught in her throat.

Not knowing what to do, how to get thru Ashley rushed forward and kissed Spencer. The blond had no chance to think, her brain shut down. The only thing she knew was the feeling of Ashley's body pushing against hers, the soft plump lips bruising her own. A tongue flew out parting lips and exploring beyond it's on home, hands tangled in each other's hair, over and under shirts on heated bare flesh.

"I love you," Ashley whispered after pulling away from the kiss for some oxygen. She felt her girlfriend tense underneath her, "What?"

"Don't," Spencer pleaded softly.

"Don't what sweetie?"

"Love me; don't love me Ashley please..." She leaned forward to push her body away from the brunette's to move away from the uncomfortable situation but the girl in front of her wouldn't let her leave.

"No," Ashley demanded flattening her toned body making Spencer stay put on the island.

"Let me go," Spencer yelped as two hands found her waist.

"No," the brunette lifted the girl to sit on the top of the counter. Her hand running along the teen's thigh, Spencer tried shifting away only to have the hand reach further up, "I love you and you can't make me stop." As if to prove her point she ran her hand all the way up to the top of Spencer's jeans, to the button and quickly undoing them and the zipper at the same time.

"Stop," Spencer struggled against the motions against the love she was being shown. She didn't deserve this, dead people don't get to feel but that was what Ashley was doing to her. Setting her skin on fire and making her feel alive.

Catching the girl's hands she pinned them down, pulling Spencer forward to the edge of the counter. Than crawling on top, one knee placed between Spencer's, the blond girl's hands held up above. But still she thrashed which wasn't exactly a great idea as her center pressed hard on the thigh positioned between her legs.

"You want me to stop, why?" Ashley asked kissing the girl's jaw line hovering above her mouth, "Why Spencer?"

"Get off me, I don't want this..." Spencer yelled hoping someone would hear, come to her rescue before her mind exploded. Ashley's only reply was to tighten her grip on the girl's wrist and trail her free hand down...down until it was again at the top of Spencer's jeans which were open. Quickly she slipped her hand into the pants, under the girl's thong. Slowly all most tortuously she began to rub the girl's clit causing Spencer's hip to jerk unconsciously which made her center smash into Ashley's thigh applying pressure to the brunette's hand in turn more friction on Spencer's now aching clit.

"I'll leave you alone; I'll walk away if you want me to." Ashley whispered in her ear as her pace quickened which had Spencer's hips rocking against her thigh, "But right now I can take the pain Spence, I'll take it from you...just let me. Let me be here for you like you were there for me when my dad died," she licked around the lobe she was whispering in, hearing the small whimpers and moans escaping Spencer' s lips.

"But...you...didn't..." she was trying so hard to talk thru her ragged breathing, "Kill...him..."

"You didn't either," Ashley assured as her index finger reached down circling Spencer's entrance, "I love you." As soon as the words left her mouth Spencer climaxed, reaching a state where her mind and thoughts rested. Tears slipped from her eyes as she finally cried, cried for her father, for herself for everything she had experienced since coming to LA. She broke in Ashley's arms but now she knew she had fallen, her only choice now was to figure out if she wanted to fix things, fix herself.

Spencer rolled on her side curling into a ball as Ashley laid on the counter top with her, wrapping her arms around her in a warm security blanket, "Not my fault..." she cried into the girl's shoulder.

"Not your fault," Ashley whispered which only made her cry harder because it reminded her of in the hospital and her talk with her father, "Shhhh baby it'll be all right...shhhh..." she rocked her back and forth being careful not to fall off the counter.

TBC.


	31. Chapter 31

Paula sat in the kitchen listening to the pasta boiling over, wishing she could see Arthur rushing back and forth trying to find the right ingredients or talking about his day. He would never let Spencer go, and why did she? That was the question burning in her mind, it just blew her away to think her daughter was punishing herself for Arthur being dead and Paula felt her stomach churn at the fact it was possibly her fault Spencer thought that way, so when she saw the girl running away she felt to shocked to do anything.

"I can't believe you're letting her go," Glen chided as he entered the kitchen. Pretty much all he had said to his mother for the past couple hours since his sister flew out the door.

"She needs some time," Paula tried to rationalize her thoughts.

"No she needs us, mom we have to help her not Ashley not any body else...us, we're her family." Glen sighed sitting down and grabbing his mom's hand, pulling it closer, "We lost dad...I can't loose her too." Tears fell from his face, he couldn't stop crying. When ever he thought he was cried out something else reminded him and the tears renewed.

"Glen," what was she suppose to say? He was right, the family needed to help her, "Can you grab me the phone honey?"

Glen nodded, releasing his mother's hand and walked out into the hall grabbing the phone than walking back and giving it to her, "You calling them?" he asked like a little five year old.

"Sweetie why don't you go upstairs with Clay and lay down for a while, okay?" Paula encouraged her son who glanced at her cautiously before making his way upstairs to his room.

Alone in the kitchen she stared at the phone in her hands, she had to do it no matter how Ashley and Spencer were going to react, she had to become a mom again...set boundaries and rules and take care of her children. Standing she punched in Ashley's cell number, reaching over she turned the pasta to low to simmer why she was on the phone waiting for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" the voice echoed sounding a bit annoyed.

"Ashley we need to talk..."

Ashley lay on the counter top wrapped up in Spencer, she didn't know where one began and the other ended nor did she care to find out. The girl, black circles under her eyes and tear stains on her cheeks, slept peacefully on the counter top. The brunette had been trying to think of a way to get the two of them off the island in the kitchen before one of the maids came in and found them. But Spencer was too heavy for her to lift without waking and Ashley couldn't bring herself to wake her girlfriend from slumber.

She glanced up to the light fixtures above her head, pots swaying back and forth on the hooks from the small wind flowing through the kitchen window which was cracked open a tiny bit. Kyla would be wondering where they were, or not since she did tell Ashley to go after the blond. Her stomach growled signaling she had yet to eat the pizza still sitting on Kyla's bed, _she better leave some for me_, Ashley thought while running her hand thru Spencer's blond hair.

Softly music began playing, at first Ashley thought she imagined it, but the constant ringing told her that her cell phone was ringing. Rolling her eyes she tried to remember where she left it, _in the living room next to the television...damn it,_ the big question how to get up and answer with out waking sleeping beauty.

Ashley shifted left causing Spencer to groan as a space was added between their bodies, she laid there unmoving holding her breath as her girlfriend moved closer. Taking a deep breath Ashley scooted closer to the edge of the counter, slowly she moved her leg down to the floor. Her back popped somewhat at the odd angle she was now in, one leg on the ground the rest of her body still tangled in Spencer.

The ringing was getting on her nerves, she wanted to yell and scream that she'd be there in a sec but that would require a loud voice and that so was not happening right now. Finally both her feet were on the ground, now how to extract her arms. Gradually she pulled her right arm back, watching Spencer's hands fall to the girl's sides. Than the left arm, now she was standing up looking at Spencer who was no curled into a ball on the counter but far away enough from any of the edges for Ashley to be worried. She tip toed toward the living room, a small whimper caused her to stop and glance back, a few tears slipped from Spencer's eyes as a shiver past through but she continued to the living room.

_Who ever is calling is going to die for making Spence cry again,_ "Hello?"

"Ashley we need to talk..."

"Mrs. Carlin...um, yeah sure." Ashley asked somewhat bewildered at why the older woman was calling as she glanced back in the kitchen to make sure Spencer was alright.

"Look I know I said you guys could go on this trip but, honestly I don't think it is a good idea."

"I agree,"

"You do? Really?" Ashley could hear the surprise in Paula's voice causing a small smile to spread over her lips.

"Yeah I do, with Kyla bound to bed and school I just don't think it's a good idea to take her away."

"Than why did you agree?"

"I thought maybe, with burying her dad..." Ashley paused not knowing how Paula would react with her saying that.

"It's alright Ashley..." Paula assured her.

"Well, I just thought maybe she needed to blow off some steam but she's really set on this trip."

"I'm glad we agree...look can you bring her back home, I'm going to make an appointment with a psychologist for her. He's a good friend of Arthur's..." Ashley heard the tears thru the woman's voice, "and he agreed to talk to her for free."

"She's not going to like it,"

"At this point we need to take care of her not let her decided for her self, I know that sounds cruel but...can you bring her home?"

"Sure Mrs. Carlin I'll wake her up and will come over."

"Thank you Ashley and um...can I ask you one more small favor?"

"I guess," 

"Can you call me Mrs. C?"

Ashley pulled the phone away from her ear, staring at it like it grew an extra antenna or something, she heard Paula calling into the phone asking if she was still there, placing the cell back to her ear, "Um sorry...you just caught me off guard with that."

"I know... and you don't have to its just..."

"I know Mrs. C; I know...we'll be over soon."

"Thank you..." and they hung up. Ashley thought about dialing the Genius Book of World Records for the longest and most civilized conversation with Mother Superior. Shaking the stupid thought from her head she put her cell in her pocket and headed back to the kitchen, leaning in the door way she watched Spencer sleep. Trying to think of a way to get her back home.

TBC.


	32. Chapter 32

Spencer exited the car and stared up at her house, for some reason it seemed scary. She really didn't want to go back in there, sighing she felt Ashley's hand in hers as the two made their way inside.

"Okay so where do you think you left your cell phone?" Spencer asked dropping Ashley's hand and turning to look at her.

"Well..." Ashley stuck her hand in her pocket revealing said lost phone, "I didn't technically leave it here."

"What?"

"I had to get you back here," Ashley stated quietly now feeling very guilty about lying to Spencer.

"Sweetie we're worried about you," Paula spoke from behind her.

"I can't believe this," Spencer tried to leave but Ashley was still standing in front of the door, "Get out of my way!"

"I can't,"

"You fucking bitch I knew you didn't care, I knew you wouldn't take me away. What happened to we don't have to check out right now huh...I HATE YOU!" Spencer seethed in Ashley's direction before running up the stairs and slamming her door closed.

Ashley stood there for a second, her mind turning over and over with the words her girlfriend just spit out at her. Her heart broke, the girl had never said those words to her, not even during their worst fights or when she woke up from the coma and that was the only time she expected to hear those three words. She closed her eyes trying desperately to get those words from ringing in her ears as her legs dropped from beneath her and she slid down the door. Tears spilling down her cheeks, head buried in her hands.

"Oh Ashley she didn't mean it," Paula fell forward and hugged the girl to her chest, "You can't take anything she says to heart right now."

"I...she...hate..." she couldn't even form a complete sentence.

"Did I hear Spencer yelling?" Clay came downstairs, his eyes staring from his mother to Ashley and back again.

"Clay can you check on dinner and tell Glen to set the table, Ashley's staying for dinner tonight." Paula sternly told her son who nodded and headed to the kitchen. She didn't understand why she was being so nice to Ashley at the moment, she'd dreamed about Spencer telling her off and the girl disappearing but somehow being close to Ashley made her feel closer to her husband. They both had brown hair and brown eyes, their personalities are warm and inviting even if Ashley's cloths aren't.


	33. Chapter 33

Spencer heard her mom banging on the door but didn't care; she just couldn't believe Ashley lied to her to get her back here. The one place she really didn't want to be. She turned off all the lights, laying on her bed in the darkness staring at the ceiling listening to the blaring music. The lyrics were lost on her as she played everything over and over in her mind, the fight with Ashley and Aiden at prom, the shooting, waking from a coma, the endless nightmares that she could never remember, the emptiness in her chest, her father dieing, Kyla bound to a bed because of two broken legs. And the one phrase burned into her skull, 'my fault'. Everything could have been avoided if it wasn't for her, no one would be hurt, and she'd be dead or better yet not born. Yeah then the world would be right, Glen would be jock boy and Clay would still be the brain and Ashley...she'd still be closed off but happy because she had no clue what she'd been missing.

Raife Davies crossed her mind, if she hadn't gone to dinner with them that night would Ashley have stayed longer? Would he have driven off and been in that accident? Ashley might have been in that car with him...she didn't know. But did it matter? Did anything about her or her memories matter?

NO...simple. Yet they did. Her family all showed her that they cared, but they shouldn't she didn't deserve it. They should throw her out, yell, scream, and beat her anything but sit there being concerned. She had to do something, something to make them stop caring...but what?

So many questions and no answers, why couldn't any one answer her? _Another question great..._ she chided herself. Her eyes finally focused as she realized she'd shut herself in a locked room with no lights, she hated the darkness. It was growing darker by the second, her body shaking with anticipation of monsters and laughter to emerge but nothing came making her even more scared. Blood rushed to her ears drowning out the music, she had to turn the light on but her legs stayed glued to the bed.

"Mom," her voice echoed out but the music drowned out her already weak cry, "Mom?" she tried again only this time it became a whisper. She wished her mom would bang on the door again, call out to her, demand she open the door but the other part knew that her mom despised her and wished for the darkness to take her away. Maybe that was it, maybe letting the darkness wash over her, bleed into ever creak and crease of her broken heart, to drown in the sea of guilt and pain, maybe that would make them go away.

Gulping down her fear she pushed her self off the bed, gripping the wall to keep herself steady she made her way to the window. Opening it she remembered when Ashley texted her to open the window to skip and go to the beach, the crinkle in the brunette's smile. The way she teased Spencer into seeing things her way, as usual. A small smile played on her lips as she perched herself on the ledge. She refused to glance down; instead her eyes roamed the expanse of the stars. Each one probably died a thousand years ago only the darkness was too stupid to let its hold on the light go as if even the black hole of space needed that faction of light, of safety to keep its hold on life.

She knew she was stupid too, keeping her light, Ashley, by her side. But now wasn't the time for greed, now was the time to let the safety of the night light go out. It was time for her to fly with out the net of warm arms to hold her. Closing her eyes she leaned forward, wind rushing past her body like she was flying before it met the hard ground. The air in her lungs rushed out leaving her breathless, eyes fluttered straining to stay open for what purpose she didn't know until Ashley's face appeared above her. Brown sad eyes...she thought before collapsing into the black expanse of her mind.

TBC.


	34. Chapter 34

Here she was again, in a hospital room waiting for the love of her life to wake up. If she hadn't stepped out to throw away the trash she would never have seen Spencer sprawled out on the ground. The girl probably was out there for two minutes or more and would have laid there all night if she didn't take out the trash, the one time she's grateful for garbage.

"Paula," the doctor an elderly woman about fifty two walked in. Her long silver hair glowing in the bright lights of the hospital, she wore the standard scrubs but she had on tennis shoes instead of the slippers and peeking out of the bottom of her pants was a small rose tattoo which made Ashley feel better about the woman treating her girlfriend.

"Rose how is she?"

"Physically banged up a bit, the fall wasn't that big. She should have known it wouldn't have killed her if that was in fact what she was trying to do." Rose searched her clip board, not wanting to see the fear in her co-workers face.

"No...she, no." Paula stated calmly shaking her head back and forth. Her mind simply shut down at the thought, discarding it.

Rose took a step closer, reaching her hand out placing it on Paula's shoulder, "She did and the sooner you come to terms with that the sooner you can help her get better."

"What now?" Ashley asked finally getting her mouth to work, forcing it past the lump growing more each hour.

Rose stared at the young teen, regarding her in sympathy, "You found her?"

"Yes, she's my girlfriend." This seemed to catch the doctor off guard but a genuine smile spread on her face.

"Well your in for quite a ride young lady," Rose voice faltered in its cheery tone, "With what I've been told about her actions the past week I'd roughly diagnose her with PTSD and depression but I can't be sure, a psychologist will be able to tell much better than me. You said you were setting up an appointment?"

"Yes, a friend of Arthur's. Dr. Noble is really good at what she does."

"Great," Rose smiled making a note on her clip board, "She'll be fine, a few pains in her stomach and leg from where she was shot and her body might be sore from the fall. Spencer has been put on suicide watch and I really don't want to discharge her but the hospital is over booked."

"Suicide watch?" Ashley wondered, she'd heard it in movies but never full understood what it meant.

"She is not to be left alone, check up on her at all times. If she gets mad or upset, well it doesn't matter, probably means your getting on her nerves and making her feel loved and most times people with depression don't want this so you're doing your job. Depression can be followed by other disorders, anxiety..."

"Yes," Ashley piped up quickly cutting the doctor off, "Sorry...just, um...she's afraid of the dark and when me and Kyla came over she was sweating and shaking. Is that anxiety?"

"Yes, good job at catching that," Rose beamed at Ashley making her feel smart for paying close attention to her girlfriend, who she paid close attention to anyway, "Another is an eating disorder, make sure she eats regularly but do be careful because just like normal she won't be hungry at times and you need to be able to tell the difference. I won't you to distribute the medication Paula, take all the medicine out of the bathroom as well as sharp objects."

Rose listed a few other things, "Is that all?" Paula tightened her grip on the prescription in her hand.

"For now, the psychologist might add a few other things; remember disorders like this don't just magically go away. It takes time to get back to a decent place for these people and Spencer is one of them now."

"You make it sound like an occult."

"It is in away Ashley, depression and suicide are growing among young people." Rose turned to leave but turned back, "How have you been sleeping?"

"Oh...me, uh when I do it's..."

"Nightmares," Ashley nodded, "How long do you sleep for?"

"Three maybe four hours," Rose pulled her pad out, writing quickly.

"You're most likely suffering from PTSD as well only a milder case than Spencer; I want you to take these sleeping pills for the next two weeks. Can your parents come in and pick it up?"

"My parents?" Rose raised her eyebrows as if telling the younger girl to continue.

"She'll be staying with us; her mother is on hiatus as of now." Paula spoke up.

"Very well," Rose handed over the prescription before leaving.

"I can't stay, what about Kyla?" Ashley asked.

"Take a deep breath, you can go home. I just told her that because you need that medicine and your mother is never around. Now can you promise me that you'll take it, no more than what's prescribed and you won't skip it?"

Ashley nodded, "Thank you." The two embraced. Holding on tight as if they needed each other and at this time they did. Their relationship was blossoming in the wake of disaster but it didn't matter how it formed, that fact is that it had and neither were going to left it go.

"Come on let's drop off these prescriptions and grab a bit to eat."

"What about..." Paula glanced back at her daughter who was sound asleep.

"The nurses will check up on her, we can't help her if we neglect ourselves." After that the two went down to the pharmacy dropping of the papers than went to the diner down the street. They talked and laughed and forgot about the hopelessness they both felt, right now they were friends, not bitter enemies fighting over Spencer's love.

TBC.


	35. Chapter 35

"Can you hand me that screw driver?" Clay asked eyeing the tiny screw in front of him, his hand reaching back opened palm up.

"Don't you think we should call some one," Chelsea handed him the screw driver from the tool box. He positioned it to the metal and began tightening.

"You don't think I can do this?"

Chelsea sighed, leaning against the wall watching her boyfriend who had yet to turn away from what he was doing, "I didn't say that. It's just that Glen usually did this kind of stuff."

"I don't remember Glen ever installing bars on a window," Clay finished and stood up inspecting his handwork, "And besides I followed the directions to a T..." He patted the bars which instantly fell off the window, bending down he picked it up before looking at Chelsea who was trying to hide her smile, "Okay maybe I skipped a few things."

"A few, the thing wasn't even attached." She giggled.

Clay fitted the bars back on, "Can you read what I need to do next?"

"Sure," Chelsea bent down and scanned the directions, "It says to lock the sides in by clamping down on the side bars."

"What side bars?" Clay asked searching the contraception, "This is why I like homework...better directions."

"Really, I always thought the teachers did a poor job at explaining." Chelsea stood behind Clay, bringing the directions in front of his face so his eyes roamed over the picture.

"They did do a poor job, I mean reading the directions on the paper itself. All ways clear and straight to the point," He said as he finished the last bolt on the bars, quickly he patted it again only this time it stayed put. Placing his two hands on the bars he began to pull and yank, jumping around anything to make it move but the metal stayed put, "Got it!"

"Perfect," Chelsea smiled leaning in and kissing Clay on the cheek while he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Just like you," His mouth was soon on hers, deepening it until their bodies and breath became one.

Chelsea pushed him back some, "Now the door..." she pointed to the white wooden door.

"Right," he sighed at having to give up yet another make out session.

Spencer sat in the wheel chair, her eyes searching the area around her while her mother finished filling out the release forms. Ashley standing impossible close but she refused to even acknowledge the brunette. The sky was clear outside the building making Spencer want to gag, people passed by and everyone seemed to have a smile on their face. She just buried her father yesterday and the world went on like things were normal but they weren't.

"We can leave," Paula came up and pushed the wheel chair toward the doors. Once outside, their car pulled up and the valet man handed over the keys, Spencer went to get out of the chair only to wince in pain.

Without thinking Ashley reached forward to steady Spencer who yanked away making her wince again, "Don't touch me!"

"Spence..." she was at a loss for words so left it at that. The three of them got in and headed back to the Carlin residence.

"You two will be in school tomorrow, it's all ready been a week so you'll need to get caught up," Paula told them while on the highway. Glancing every few seconds to the back seat where Spencer sat staring out the window lost in her own world, "So Spencer are you excited to go back?"

Ashley saw Paula try to interact with her daughter who ignored her, she wished her mother would try so hard to make her feel loved and safe so to see the deflated look on the older woman's face caused her heard to drop, "I can't wait to get back." Paula glanced over, a small smile spreading over her lips telling Ashley how grateful she was.

"So you lied to me again," Spencer seethed in the back seat her face never turning from the window.

Ashley shifted in her seat so she could see her girlfriend better, "What do you mean?"

"In the hospital you told me you didn't want to go back and now suddenly you do, with all these lies how can I know when you're telling me the truth huh Ashley?" the brunette's mouth went dry, her throat closing up on her.

"I...I didn't lie...I was just..."

"Not telling the truth," Spencer cut her off, "It's fine Ashley...like I care anyway." The whole time she argued her eyes never left the window, not once did she look at her girlfriend.

"That's enough Spencer," Paula yelled back just as she pulled up into the drive way. Spencer hoped out of the car and rushed inside, the other two close behind.

Spencer climbed the stairs two at a time, needing to get away from all the concern and love, needing to be alone. She slammed her door shut only to have it bounce open again. Anger boiled up, there was no lock, and there was no handle. No way for her to shut her door, no privacy. Growling she pushed her hair back and taking a deep breath and if she felt angry with the door what she saw next made her gut flare in hatred. Bars on her window, they were locking her in like some sort of prison. She stormed down the stairs seeing her brother sitting there watching television.

"Did you do that?" she yelled pointing upstairs. Clay hopped off the couch, Spencer rarely ever yelled at him and when she did he always felt guilty even if he didn't do anything wrong.

"Mom told me..."

"Mom told me," she mocked him, "God that was my door...you had no right!"

"He had ever right," Paula stormed in after hearing the conversation, "I told him to."

"Why? There is no reason I shouldn't be able to shut my door or open my window." Spencer screamed.

"Really...no reason, how about trying to kill yourself huh Spencer. You jumped out your window so tell me as a parent why I wouldn't put bars on your window?" tears fell down her cheeks.

Spencer stared at her mother, crying in front of her. Guilt washed over her; yet again she had ruined something. Her brain shut down, if you asked her why she was yelling and bitching at everyone she wouldn't be able to give you a straight answer because she didn't know. The things she wanted to say always came out wrong, she'd repeat them over and over in her head until they made no sense so she'd start yelling and screaming but she wasn't mad at them she was upset with herself it was just easier to take it out on them.

"We all love you and are just trying to help," Ashley breathed in.

_Don't do it, she's trying to be nice...nice...nice...she's been lying to you and for how long? You don't know that's right, _"LOVE!" Spencer screamed wincing at the tone of her own voice, "How many more times are you going to lie to me?" Without waiting for an answer the blond ran for her bedroom.

The night dragged on and on, each person dwelling on past events. Clay and Ashley sat down and played a game of scrabble which brought some peace of mind for a while. Paula made dinner and cleaned the dishes, having small flash backs of Arthur and the kids when they were younger. Spencer hid in her closet, the only place she couldn't be seen from the hallway, so she sat quietly in the back with her back against the wall thinking about all the bad things she'd done.

Paula grabbed three bottles of medicine, setting two down on the kitchen counter she grabbed a glass and filled it half way with water.

In the living room Clay sat on the couch with Ashley laying down, her head in his lap both content in watching some movie that neither were paying attention to but was a great distraction from their thoughts, "I think it's time for bed."

"What time is it?" Clay wondered, stretching as Ashley sat up to take the pill from Paula. Quickly she gulped it down before handing the glass of water back to the older woman.

"Ten o' clock, Ashley you can have my room..."

"Mrs. C I can't..."

Paula reached over placing her hand on the younger girl's shoulder, "I don't know how much longer I'm going to be up. Watching Spencer, doing bills...take it, I'll sleep on the couch."

Ashley nodded and she and Clay headed upstairs. As soon as she lay down, letting the softness of the pillow sink around her head she was out.

Paula walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the other two bottles of medicine and made her way upstairs. She entered her daughter's bedroom but didn't see her, knowing the girl was in the closet Paula took a deep breath trying to ready her self for a battle. Slowly so not to startle the girl Paula walked into the closet, "Spencer?"

The blond was still sitting still on the wall, her eyes brimmed with dried tears, and she looked at her mom but said nothing afraid she'd yell again and say more things she didn't mean.

"You need to take your medicine," Paula approached handing Spencer a glass of water and three pills, "Two are for your depression and the third is to help you sleep."

Spencer wanted to scream and tell her mom she was fine and didn't need the pills but as her mouth opened she saw her mom flinch and quickly shut up. Popping the pills in her mouth she swallowed them and handed the glass back to her mom.

"Open," Paula stated. _How'd she know I didn't swallow them? Is she psychic, can she read my mind...if she could she'd know what a terrible person I' am?_ Spencer just sat there with a deer caught in head lights look, "Open your mouth Spencer."

Biting her lip she contemplated spitting them out and rushing to the bathroom and locking the door but her body wouldn't react so she sat there. Paula got down on her knees so she was eye to eye with her daughter. Reaching forward she pried the girl's lips apart to stare at the three pills hidden neatly under her tongue, "Swallow." She commanded.

No other choice at the moment she took the glass from her mother and swallowed the pills for real this time and before her mom could say any thing she opened her mouth and moved her tongue to show her mom she did in fact swallow them.

"Do you want me to stay in here tonight?" Spencer shook her head no, "Okay...I'll see you in the morning." Paula kissed the girl's forehead before leaving the room.

Ashley tossed and turned, sure the medicine helped her fall asleep but it didn't keep the nightmare at bay. The crowd gathered around in the black expanse, tuxedos and prom dresses but no one was in them, it was only the clothing shaped like people. The clothes danced with one another, music echoed thru her mind as a tuxedo waltzed its way to stand in front of her, bowing it extended its hand. She took the invisible hand and placed her other hand on its waist, the two began dancing to a slow song.

Red rain drops started to fall, covering the dance floor. She glanced down to see her prom dress drenched in blood, pooling in the same area she held Spencer tightly to her chest willing the girl to keep her eyes open. Two blue eyes stared up from the floor, causing Ashley to jump back scared because really who ever saw eyes in a floor with no face. Realizing whose they were she dropped to the ground, "SPENCER!" she screamed as the eyes began to shut, "NO...no...No...No...No, keep your eyes open. Look at me," but the eyes kept closing to reveal only the wooden floor but then they'd open again and Ashley would be lost in the sea of blue.

"Ash," a voice weakly called out to her.

"Spencer please don't leave me," Ashley cried, curling up on the floor where the eyes used to be.

"Ash," the voice said a little more forceful.

Ashley sprung up in the bed, brown orbs locked with scared blue ones, "Spence..." she asked the figure leaning on the bed. As soon as the words left her mouth Spencer shot forward wrapping her arms around Ashley's waist.

"I'm sorry...I don't hate you...I don't, I'm sorry..." the girl sobbed.

"Shhhh," Ashley cooed while rocking back and forth slowly. She laid back so both were lying on the bed, Spencer's head snuggled under Ashley's chin, "I'm here baby...I'm here." She whispered over and over again, soon the medicine started to kick in again and her eyes became heavy.

"Ash?"

"Mhmmm."

"I love you," Spencer's words were barely audible and Ashley's eyes shot open to stare at the ceiling.

Ashley smiled a full blown ear to ear smile once Spencer's three words registered with her tried brain, "I love you too baby, I'll always be here." She kissed the top of Spencer's head before the two drifted off to sleep, holding on to each other, cuddled so close the warmth they felt almost turning into a heat wave but it blocked out the coldness of the night so they gladly pulled closer under the blankets.

TBC.


	36. Chapter 36

Spencer sat up screaming, sweat glistening down her body, shaking violently. Her mouth opening to gain air, warm hands slid around her waist pulling her back down and into the heat of the covers, "Shhhh...I've got you," Ashley soothed her mind, running her hand up and down Spencer's back under the soaked night shirt.

"What's going on?" Paula flew into the room, broom in hand ready to attack any living thing.

"She just had another bad dream;" Ashley assured trying not to laugh at the fighting stance Paula was still standing in, "What's with the broom?"

Paula glanced at the broom than back at Ashley, "Sorry...I finally fell asleep and when I heard the yelling. Tired minds don't think rationally,"

"Yeah,"

"She's soaked," Paula stated walking closer to the bed. Noticing the shirt plastered against her daughter's skin.

"I wish there was some kind of medicine to take the night mares away, I had one earlier just before she woke me up to crawl into the bed with me."

"Hold on a sec," Paula walked out of the room than returned a second later, "Can you lift her with out waking her up?"

"Sure," Ashley had learned to move around a room or to move Spencer off her since dating, at first the blond would always wake up but all most a year of dating and Ashley had it down. Sitting up she slowly lifted her girlfriend to a sitting position, the girl groggily snuggled closer causing both women to smile unconsciously. Paula bent down and removed the wet shirt than slipped on the new dry one. Carefully the two laid her back down.

"Yours too," Ashley looked down and sure enough her shirt was a little damp.

"Must have been from holding her," Paula left the room to return with yet another dry shirt, "Thanks." Ashley waited for the older woman to turn around before changing her shirt.

"Your welcome." Paula grabbed the shirt from Ashley, "You guys can sleep for another two hours."

"That's it?"

"Yep, don't worry you guys can take a nap once school is out. I'll probably be sleeping at work so..." With that she left the teens to try and sleep again.

"I can't do this," Spencer stared up at the school building. They still had about ten more minutes before the bell rang, kids mauled around while sneaking glances at the blond who stood in front of Ashley's car, with Ashley and Clay by her side.

"Yes you can," Clay put his arm around her shoulder, taking small steps forward causing Spencer to take small steps toward the looming building.

"No, no I can't,"

"Sweetie nothing is going to happen," Ashley intertwined their hands, her thumb grazing each knuckle.

"You don't know that, you don't know that Ashley, you don't know anything!" Spencer's voice started to grow.

"You're right I don't know but I do know you need to calm down,"

"Yeah Spence stop and breath," Clay's eyes shone with such sadness.

"Sorry," she breathed in deeply before laying her head on Ashley's shoulder, inhaling the cinnamon raspberry perfume surrounding her girlfriend, in response Ashley brought her hands to Spencer's waist pulling her closer. She really was trying not to loose it especially with Ashley, how many times could she blow up before the girl decided to give up on her?

"We are all here for you," Clay offered up a weak smile at Ashley because Spencer's head was still nuzzled in the crook of her neck, "Chelsea...me...Ashley..."

"And me," Madison skipped over to the group.

"Right and Madison, so chill," Clay reached out making Spencer release Ashley, "And don't cling."

"Hey," Ashley yanked Spencer back into her, an arm snaking around the girl's waist, "I like her right here."

A smile appeared on Spencer lips, "Thank you..." she kissed Ashley. Running her tongue along the flesh, a moan escaped the brunette's lips, opening her mouth a little more she accepted the blonde's tongue, both dueling for dominance.

"I love your thank you's," Ashley breathed out once they pulled back. The bell rang, "Come on guys building of boredom and despair beckons us." She sighed dramatically making the group laugh. The two walked to Spencer's first period math class, "Okay I'll be right here when you get out."

"Ashley I don't need you to baby sit me," Spencer said getting a little frustrated that her girlfriend and mother decided that Ashley would be waiting for her after every class.

"I don't need you running off," Ashley pecked her on the cheek, "I'll be here." She pushed Spencer into the class room before the girl could protest further.

And she was, after every class she was waiting outside the door. Each time Spencer got a little madder but was really trying not to explode; Ashley saw the tension in her girlfriend building but knew there was nothing she could do. Every one was worried that if left alone Spencer would try and kill her self again.

Lunch brought the entire group together, they had to be the most talked about and stared at click at the school right about now. The table consisted of the lesbian couple, crazy ex cheer leader, a pregnant teenager and the smart soon to be father.

"Why do they have to stare?" Chelsea asked eating her pudding Clay brought from home.

"Were famous that's why," Madison winked at a boy passing by.

"Same old Madi," Ashley quipped.

"Same old Ash," Madison sneered.

"I'll be right back,"

"Where you going?" Clay caught Spencer by the wrist, she yanked away.

"The bathroom if you have to know," she glared at him.

"I'll go too," Ashley started to get up only to be forced back down roughly.

"I can piss on my own," Spencer seethed before walking away quickly toward the bathroom.

"Should I?"

"No, let her go..." Chelsea waved, knowing at this moment the girl needed time to her self.

Spencer stood in the bathroom, glaring at her self in the mirror. Not recognizing the bitch that stared back, she didn't mean to push Ashley down so meanly it was just overwhelming that she wasn't even allowed to go in a bathroom by her self. She'd been in there for at least five minutes and was just waiting for someone to barge in a demand what she was doing, it didn't matter that all it was...was staring at her reflection they'd think she was doing something bad. When no one came and her nervous calmed down she made her way down the hallway toward the quad when music filtered thru her crowed mind.

It was coming from the music room, slowly she tip toes in the door and watched the music teacher Mr. Carlos Mantinez sitting on a swivel chair, guitar in hand strumming away at the strings without a care in the world. He glanced up once feeling someone's eyes on his own, he saw Spencer standing there and knew she shouldn't be alone but the look in her eyes made him stop the asking.

"That was pretty," she whispered all most afraid to break the mood of the room with her voice.

"Thanks,"

Ashley started to panic; she stood up and paced the length of the table, "Where is she?"

Madison glanced at her watch, "It's only been...twenty minutes, and okay we need to find her." The group got up and followed the path they saw Spencer take minutes ago. Hoping nothing went wrong.

TBC.


	37. Chapter 37

"She's not in there," Madison declared after searching the bathroom with Chelsea and Ashley.

"Now what?" Clay threw his hands up hopelessly.

"I shouldn't have let her go by her self," Ashley breathed out.

"Look why don't we split up," Chelsea offered.

"Okay yeah, sounds good. I'll go back the way we came maybe we missed her." Ashley started backing away. The group split up to search for the girl.

Ashley probed the hallways, every head of blond hair was potentially Spencer, and every time is wasn't her heart dropped another few inches toward her stomach. _Where could she be? Is she hurting or scared? What if some how someone left the access door open to the roof and now she's up there going to jump? _"Damn it Spence where are you?" she said out loud.

Music flowed into the hallway; she made a beeline toward the sound. Relief washed over her body, there was Spencer sitting in a swivel chair with a smooth cherry word acoustic guitar in her lap. Mr. Mantinez sitting in a chair behind her, his legs on either side of her and Spencer's back was pushed tightly to his chest, his hands reached around cupping hers, guiding her fingers over the strings.

She leaned in the door way, crossing her arms, staring at the scene. Spencer had her eyes closed, a peaceful concentration look upon her face and a sly half smile placed gentle on her lips. It was the first time Ashley had seen her girlfriend content in the past few months. Mr. Mantinez stood up, "Okay Spencer now you try...do exactly what I just showed you." She nodded and closed her eyes again, concentrating on moving her fingers.

Again sensing a presence he glanced over and saw the brunette, he nodded toward her and she smiled before turning around and leaving. Knowing this was Spencer's next class and that the teacher had things handled, Ashley made her way back to the quad and explained to everyone else that she found Spencer but kept the little part of her playing guitar to her self.

The bell rang signally the end of lunch, "Time for class Spencer," Mr. Mantinez smiled taking his guitar back from her, "You sure you've never played before?"

"Yep," Kids began to pour in taking their seats, "Are there assigned seating?" she asked.

"Nope, take a seat where ever." He replied walking into his office. She quickly made her way to the front of the class room, sitting in the middle row so she had a perfect view of the white board.

"Class settle down," Mr. Mantinez came back in once the late bell rang, "Today we'll be continuing learning how to read music." A few groans escaped the lazy students but he didn't falter, "Take out the sheet I handed out yesterday."

Spencer glanced around feeling out of place, this was her first day but everyone else had been here for almost two weeks. She was behind and for the first time in the day it bothered her, "Here."

She turned her head to met a pair of sapphire blue eyes, the girl smiled as she laid a piece of paper on Spencer's desk, "I make copies of all my homework so you can have this extra one...oh I'm Brenda by the way." She held out her hand. Spencer stared at the girl's hand then back up to her eyes.

"Spencer," she replied shyly without taking the other teen's hand. Something about Brenda didn't feel right, _who copies their homework_? Spencer thought while looking down at the paper, _most kids pray to lose it._

"You don't talk much do you?" Spencer shrugged her shoulders, Brenda leaned forward pushing a loose strand of blond hair behind Spencer's ear before whispering, "I like that." Spencer glanced over quickly at the other girl who was now sitting perfectly in her seat taking notes with what ever Mr. Mantinez was talking about.

Now matter how hard she tried to concentrate on the lecture the same sentence repeated over and over in her head...I don't like her...I don't like her...I don't like her...I don't like her...I don't like her...God I really really don't like her!

"Spencer?"

HUH, "What?" she asked clearing her mind.

"Class is over," Mr. Mantinez laughed. She looked around the room to find the kids flying out, Brenda already gone as well.

"Sorry," she stood packing up her things.

"No need to apologize. Hey look Spencer all the guitars are gone in the class," he watched her eyes drop to the ground, "but if you bring in one of your own I would love to teach you."

"Really?" he nodded, "Oh but I don't have one."

"Aren't you dating Ashley Davies?" he wondered.

"Oh yeah I' am, she's like really into music and has a drum set and guitars." She said looking out into the hallway wondering where Ashley was.

Ashley sat in her forth period class, psychology. The first class since she was thirteen to catch her interest. She had her notebook out and instead of pictures or the cute Ash heart Spence all over the page she had actual notes. Her mind followed along with every word the teacher spoke, ever letter written on the white board.

"So does any one remember what the definition of Psychology is?" Mr. Gray shot a pointed look at his students, most hunched over in their seats or staring at anything but him. Except Ashley Davies, number one delinquent at King High, "Ashley?"

Her eyes went wide for a second, no teacher ever called on her to answer a question, "Well...uh..." she racked her brain for the answer, she'd been paying attention so why couldn't she come up with it.

"I see you were dosing off again," he shook his head moving his body to sit at the edge of his desk while looking for his next victim.

"The science dealing with behavior, mind and thought or emotional and behavioral characteristics of an individual, group or activity." All mouths hung open, not one person had their eyes anywhere but on Ashley Davies, who all of a sudden felt self conscious, "That's right...right?" she asked searching her notes, glancing at the stunned teacher than back at her notes.

"Right...exactly right," Mr. Gray shook his head, "Well done Miss. Davies." She smiled and he kept on with the lecture, than had the class silently read.

Ashley eagerly read thru the pages, the more she read the more it related to Spencer and what she was going thru which made the subject even more fascinating. She felt like she was some how getting inside her girlfriend's head, "Miss. Davies?"

"Yeah?" she asked with out looking up.

"Class is over," her head shot up. _It couldn't be, she was suppose to be gone already to pick up Spencer._ "I see you're really into this subject." Mr. Gray tried to induce a conversation.

"I'd really love to chat but I'm late," she rushed to grab her things.

"Right," he sighed and she heard the disappointment in his voice.

"Rain check?" she asked once standing in the door way, Mr. Gray stared at her, "I would actually like to chat about depression and post traumatic stress disorder, I know we're not dealing with those subjects directly or until later on but..."

"No...Yeah, I mean sure we can talk about that."

"Cool, so tomorrow?" she asked.

"You don't have this class tomorrow."

"I know, I was thinking lunch maybe. If you don't mind?" Ashley shifted her bag to her other shoulder.

"No problem, see you then." Mr. Gray smiled as he locked his door almost running to the teachers lounge once she was out of sight to brag about Ashley Davies paying attention in his class and actually liking the subject.

Ashley rushed thru the crowd, praying that Spencer stayed in the class to wait for her, "Hey Ash what's the rush?" Clay grabbed her arms making her jerk back.

"I'm late...picking up Spence," she said between gasping for lungs full of air.

"Don't worry, I thought you might have fell asleep during class...you know psychology, boring. Any way I went over there, she's talking with Mr. Mantinez." Clay shrugged, "Come on let's get her and go home."

The two made their way into the music room, the teacher and Spencer were huddled over a desk with Mr. Mantinez writing something down and Spencer nodding her head, "You ready to go?" Ashley called out. Spencer spun around waving her girlfriend over frantically, "What's up?"

"Okay so all the guitars are gone for the class and I really want to try playing it and Mr. Mantinez said I can use one of my own but I don't have one but you do and we were talking and maybe I could borrow one of yours but I get it if you don't want to with my track record but I'll be careful I promise." 

"Breath," Ashley used her hands and took a large over dramatized breath. Spencer stopped talking and did as Ashley said, "Yes you can borrow one of mine."

Spencer squealed and tackled Ashley to the soft carpeted floor of the music room, lips crashing together, hands tangling in hair, perfumes blanketing each of them with the others smell. The world fell away and it was just the two of them, Spencer slipped her leg between Ashley's parting them to get closer, her body fully laid flat on the brunette's who truly didn't mind.

"Girls!" Mr. Mantinez cleared his throat, the two teens pulled away laughing at how flushed the older man looked.

Than they looked at each other again, brown and blue, the sky and the ground locked at one, "Did I tell you how much I love your thank you's?" Ashley asked, their faces so close her breath washed over Spencer.

"No," Spencer shook her head with a sly smile creeping up her lips.

"Well I love them and I love you," she kissed her again both still lying flat on the floor.

"Okay...okay get out of here," Mr. Mantinez said in a fake Italian voice ushering the teens off the floor and towards the door.

"How come I never get thanked like that?" Clay pouted as he opened the doors allowing the two girls to exit before him. Just as he stepped outside Spencer tackled him back into the wall and kissed him on the check, "Never mind let's just stick with 'Thank you Clay'"

"Thank you Clay," Ashley and Spencer said in sing song before the three started laughing and making their way to the parking lot.

Spencer stopped short causing Clay to bump into her, "What's wrong?"

No one needed to tell him as he followed her eyes to Ashley's car, there Aiden stood leaning against the metal holding tightly to his back pack.

TBC.


	38. Chapter 38

Ashley glared at Aiden, he didn't deserve her anger directed towards him, and she knew that. It was mostly her fault they were in this predicament, running to him and making him feel she had 'loving' feelings for him, "Ashley..." he tried to offer up a smile but it faltered.

"Aiden," she breathed out. The silence took over the fast empting parking lot, the four of them stood there shifting back and forth uncomfortable. Clay glanced off in the distance wishing he wasn't there at the moment, if only Ashley wasn't his ride home. He wasn't even in this three way love triangle.

"How's Kyla?" He asked trying to break the rising tension.

"You know...fine," Ashley nodded. Again silence, it was loud and deafening. No one knew what to say, what to do, where to start.

"Good,"

"Yeah," Ashley agreed.

All the happiness washed away from Spencer the moment she saw him standing there, leaning against **her **girlfriend's car like they were all still friends. Jaw clenched, teeth grinding back and forth, blood pumping in her ears. Fists clutching the bottom of her shirt, knuckles turning white, bile rose into her throat but she didn't move or talk. Watching the interaction between them, their eyes not quite meeting each others yet taking the other's movements in with slight glances.

"Look can we talk?" He asked casting his eyes down to the ground and shifting from foot to foot.

"Talk,"

"I mean..." he cocked his head toward Spencer and Clay, "Alone?"

"Aiden I don't..." he cut her off by taking a step forward.

"Listen I love you and I had to tell you so please can we just talk...that's it, I...I just need to talk to you." He pleaded.

"I love you too but..." Spencer stopped paying attention, she didn't care about the 'but', the words should never have been spoken. She knew she was being selfish, Ashley deserved to have friends and family to say those words too besides her. Silent tears streamed down her face, no one paid attention to the heart broken girl standing mere feet away, even Clay didn't notice with his attention fully plastered to Ashley and Aiden.

She needed to leave, get away, clear her head but the only time everything stopped was when she had that guitar in her hands and listened to the sweet melody flowing from her finger tips. Closing her eyes she pictured her self sitting in the class room with the guitar in her lap, the music spreading in waves of pleasure around her body, taking her away from the sadness and loss.

"Ashley stop...please let's just talk," Aiden pleaded with his eyes and voice. At this point he didn't care if she was his or not all he needed was to tell her everything that had been building inside for the past year and a half.

Ashley stared at the boy in front of her, he was lost and she saw it. Deep with in he had no hidden secrets from her, the bags under his eyes told her he wasn't sleeping well but now a day with the shooting who at King High was truly sleeping. His thin frame showed that his eating habits had changed over the summer. Everyone was falling hard and fast, no one was the same any more.

Coughing caught their attention, three pairs of eyes turned to see Spencer hunched over grabbing her stomach and throwing up on the hot pavement. Clay reached out rubbing circles on her back while she emptied her stomach, "Are you okay?" he asked once she stood up, still slightly bowled over from pain.

"Fine..." she gasped for air. The three saw the dried tear stains on her cheeks, "Can we just go home?"

"Oh yeah sure," Clay looked at Ashley expectantly as he guided Spencer to the car.

Ashley glanced back and forth between Spencer and Aiden, back and forth, over and over again. Another choice had to be made. She desperately needed to talk with Aiden, understand where he had come from and make him understand her heart belonged with Spencer. On the other hand Spencer needed her, whether or not the blond chose to act on those feelings. Than again she'd all ways be there for her girlfriend no matter what and a few hours talking with Aiden wasn't going to change that. She just didn't want Spencer to hate her again...decision...decision...

"Clay?" He glanced up after shutting the front passenger side door; she reached in her pocket and threw him the keys, "Take her home."

"Are you sure?" He asked staring at the keys in his hand than at the porche, was she really going to let him drive that expense car?

Ashley brought her eyes to stare at the windshield of her car where Spencer was looking right back at her, fear and hatred burning bright only the fear was winning and if it had been the other way around the brunette would have changed her mind but the fear is what made the blond hate and be angry so, "I'm sure..."

Spencer looked away causing Ashley's heart to stop beating for a second, if she couldn't get thru to Spencer at home she knew her heart would never beat regularly again, "No later than six," Clay pointed a finger at Aiden. Over the last month he developed a big brother complex toward Ashley which she all ways felt weird and grateful for.

"I think that's up to us," Aiden stated harshly. Clay shoved the boy backward into Aiden's truck that was parked next to the porche.

"NO!" Clay seethed before calming down, "Six...no later Dennison," what could Aiden say to that, an angry Clay was scary so he nodded, "It's called the English language, use it."

"Right, six got it..." he squeaked out. Satisfied Clay released him, turned and enveloped Ashley into a bone crunching hug.

"Are you sure?" he whispered in her ear, she glanced at Spencer in the car staring out the window and refusing to acknowledge the groups presence.

"No but I need this," she whispered back. He tightened his grip for a second before releasing her.

"Call if you need anything," she nodded and her glared at Aiden, "If you hurt her again...emotionally or physically..." Clay shut the door and started the car leaving the two alone in the now deserted parking lot.

"So..."

"So..."

"Yeah he's scary," Aiden sighed staring off to where he saw the porche disappear.

"You should see him when Knowledge Bowl is on," Ashley tried to lighten the mood, Aiden laughed nervously.

"Want to take a ride?" He cocked his head toward his truck, licking her lips she nodded, they hopped in and he took off.

TBC.


	39. Chapter 39

Ashley shifted in the passenger seat, she felt his eyes glance over at her every other second but she just didn't know what to say. With the window down she smelt the salty air, they were heading to the beach and sure enough he pulled into the parking lot a little ways down from the crowded area before shutting the engine off.

"Why are we here?" she asked.

"You said this place helps you think," Aiden sighed.

"This is mine and Spencer's spot, what you think we'd talk here and I'd forget about her,"

"NO!" Aiden screamed shutting her up, "No...I brought you here so you wouldn't forget her."

Ashley tilted her head in confusion, "Huh?"

He reached over taking her hand in his but she pulled back, turning in the seat so her back was against the door, he held his hands up in defeat, "I know you love her and not me and that you're 'gay'..." 

"I'm not 'gay', I'm gay Aiden...loving the girls over here, no quotation marks about it," she glared.

"Okay, just...you see..." he growled at himself for not knowing how to articulate his thoughts, "I love you..."

"You've said that already...I get it,"

"No...No I don't think you do," he stated plainly, "Since the first time I laid eyes on you you've been in my heart. Your eyes, hair, smell, everything about you a memory in my mind when I sleep. I need you," He whispered scooting closer to her.

"Aiden I..." he cut her off by pressing his lips against hers, her first reaction was to push him off and too many times had she pushed her instincts back but not now, she needed Spencer far too much to betray her so she put her hands up on his shoulders and shoved him back, "Don't!"

To this he groaned come closer to her, "I need you." His hands shot forward around her neck bringing her lips back against his. She struggled against him but it was no use, her hand fumbled around the door searching for the handle and just as his tongue drove inside her mouth she found the metal and pulled it forward.

The door creaked open, she fell backwards slamming her back to the pavement. Aiden falling forward as well onto the seat, she jumped up, "I can't believe...how you could..." her mind swirled around different scenarios.

Aiden scrambled out of the door, "Ashley I'm sorry." He reached for her only for her to take a step back.

"I can't, Aiden you...you tried to rape me,"

"Ashley no, I...never, I just wanted to kiss you that's it I swear."

"You forced yourself on me," she screamed causing several beach goes glance up from their happy day.

"You wanted it," he screamed back just as violently, "You always did. Coming to me, Spencer did this and Spencer did that, boohoo," he pretended to wipe tears away from his eyes mocking her.

"I don't even know you any more," Ashley gasped not sure who was standing in front of her but it sure wasn't Aiden, the boy she dated, the boy who got her pregnant and wanted to be the best father in the world, the star basketball player and gentle friend, no all those people were gone, she had no clue who this boy was.

"Don't know me, that's a joke. I'm the same person I've always been it's you whose changed,"

"For the better I hope,"

"Cuz your so soft core now right Ashley, pussy whipped, running around for a girl who doesn't even love you."

"She does," Ashley yelled tears streaming down her face.

"Right, does she tell you that. Late at night when you're holding each other does she whisper the words in your ear like I used to do? In the middle of the day when she hasn't seen your face in hours?" Aiden asked taking steps closer and closer to the crying girl in front of him, leaning down he placed his lips next to her ear, "When you have your fingers buried in her does she scream in passion?"

Ashley leaned back and slapped him across the face, "Fuck you!"

"Gladly," he lurched forward tackling her to the ground, the air whooshing out of her lungs leaving a burning feeling in her gut as his lips once again found hers, "You're so over us dicks aren't you Ashley?" he ripped the top of her jeans forcing his hand into them stroking the outside of her underwear while she struggled to get him off her, "Than I'll give it to you like a girl." He said dipping under the cotton and running his rough huge fingers thru her folds.

"Stop, Aiden get off!" she cried harder than ever before.

"Really?" he asked laughing bringing his hand out of her jeans and up in front of her face, "Because these say you want it." He licked the glistening juices off his fingers. She felt disgusted with the way her body reacted to his violent behavior, she didn't want this not at all, and the only person she ever wanted to touch her like that was Spencer.

"**HELP, PLEASE SOMEONE!**" She used what strength was left to call out.

"Shut it," she slapped her across the face. Tasting blood on her lip as she coughed from all the sobbing she'd been doing. His hand was back in her jeans, rocking a hard merciless rhythm in her center.

"What the fuck!" A tall thirty year old male with a four year old kid came running up, he set the kid down and ran full throttle toward the male teen, knocking him off her. Aiden didn't stay to fight he quickly jumped in his car, backed up, "I'm sorry Ashley!" then he sped away.

"Are you...okay?" the little kid asked walking closer to the brunette who sat with her hand clutched around her knees. She nodded afraid to say anything.

"Charlie go back to mommy," the man pointed back toward the beach. Once the little boy was gone he helped Ashley up, "Are you okay?" he asked checking her for any wounds but all he found was ripped jeans and a bloody lip.

"Fine," she tried to smile and thank him.

"Do you want me to call any body?"

"I got it thanks," he nodded, hesitant about leaving her alone.

"After you call why don't you come down to our blanket, relax while you wait." He really didn't want her to be alone. She was about to protest when she looked into his eyes, he had a strange resemblance to Mr. C, the hair and eyes but mostly the eyes. Warm and soft, inviting any one and everyone to feel comfortable and safe. Her heart swelled, she felt like he had come down from heaven just to protect her.

"Sure," she chocked out. He nodded and left, taking glances over his shoulder to make sure she was safe. Ashley reached into her pocket and grabbed her cell phone, punching speed dial one, the ringing seemed to go on forever, glancing at her watch she noticed it was only four thirty which brought a sigh of relief over her because she didn't want Clay mad at her for being late.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. C?" Ashley cried out.

"Ashley what's wrong? Where are you?" Paula frantically asked hearing the distress in the young teen's voice.

"I'm at the beach, can you...can you come get me? Please?"

"I'll be right there, don't move." Ashley hung up the phone and walked to the man's blanket to wait for Paula.

The older woman got there in record time, probably blowing by several red lights on her way. Now the two were heading back, Ashley had yet to tell her what happened or why she was bleeding but Paula was too afraid to push at the moment.

Walking in the door she saw Spencer standing there, arms crossed glaring at her. She was about to apologize when her girlfriend fixed her gaze on the bruised lips, face softening she took a hesitant step forward, "Are you okay?" Spencer asked, worry over powering her sense of hatred for the girl at the moment.

"No," Ashley cried collapsing into Spencer's arms, the two falling to the ground in a broken heap. The blond didn't know what to do so just held on, rocking back and forth; soothing her like Ashley had done so many times for her. No one spoke but Spencer knew her girlfriend had been with Aiden and unless told other wise the next time the blond saw the boy he wouldn't live to tell about it.

TBC.


	40. Chapter 40

Paula handed Ashley a glass of water, the girl was shaking on the couch, "Now what happened?"

"Well," she took a sip of the water trying to rid the taste of Aiden and blood from her mouth, "I went to talk to Aiden..." the brunette saw Spencer tense up and not just a little. Her whole body went ridged and her eyes closed, Ashley placed a hand on her thigh, seeming to reassure the blond. _If she tensed at just his name, damn how is she going to react to him...to what he did...?_ "He told me he loved me and I said that he already told me that and that I knew but he said I didn't know and he..."

"He what?" Clay ushered her, he needed to know.

"Kissed me," Spencer stood up wrapping her arms around her self, "I didn't kiss back I swear Spence I pushed him away..." Ashley too stood up trying to make her girlfriend see nothing happened, nothing on her part that is.

"Your lip?" the blond nodded toward the split and bruised bottom lip.

"I told him to stop, he came at me again. I opened the door and fell out, he...he said some horrible things and I, God I smacked him," Ashley began to tear again remembering the fear she felt on the beach, "I said Fuck you and he, Aiden jumped me. He tried to rape me."

"He what?" Paula shook her head; he was such a nice boy now she regretted ever thinking he was good enough for Spencer.

"A man stopped him, the man I was with." Ashley glanced over at Spencer who was shaking her head back and forth seemingly in her own world, "He...didn't." she pretty much whispered.

"But he could have," Spencer's voice almost seemed lost in the room.

"But he didn't," Ashley assured her.

"I'll kill that bastard," Clay said between clenched teeth.

"Clay!" Paula warned, "We just all need to calm down."

"Calm down he...he tried to hurt Ashley," Spencer began pacing back and forth. _This is my fault; I knew I shouldn't have let her go. Nothing good ever comes from that boy. Jealousy always gets us here, if I wasn't jealous I wouldn't have felt sick, than I wouldn't have thrown up and wanted to go home,_ "This is your fault you know!" she turned quickly to face Ashley.

"I know," the brunette replied dejectedly.

"Stop, you don't get to do that..."

"Do what?" she asked raising an eye brow.

"Blame your self, its not your fault, its mine...damn it Ashley your suppose to get mad at me or something I don't know."

"What? Huh?" the brunette was in complete confusion.

"Never mind, you were stupid enough to run off with him why would I think you were smart enough to know whose fault this was." Spencer ran up the stairs to her room and slammed the door, forgetting it had no lock or door knob so it bounced open, she grabbed a hold of the edge and slammed it again and again and again till Ashley barged in, "Get o..."

Ashley cut her off with a passionate fierce kiss, "I didn't run off with him." She told Spencer when they broke apart.

"But..."

"Kiss me," she demanded but only received a shake of the head, "Please...take him off me, I can still taste him..." she made a disgusted face causing a small smile to lift Spencer's face.

"Hold on," Spencer walked to her dresser grabbing something in her hand, leaning over she glanced down the hall way. Seeing no one around she grabbed Ashley's hand and made her way into her closet. With her back turned she applied something to her face than turned around forcing Ashley into the wall, hands tangling in auburn hair, bodies melting as one. Lips panting and parting for each other, tongues thrusting in and out, heads moving in all directions. Their bodies drifting down the wall so Ashley was sitting with her back against it and Spencer sat between the girl's legs cuddled close.

"Mmmm, strawberry..." Ashley licked her lips, tasting the lip gloss her girlfriend just applied.

"Your favorite," Spencer sighed in contentment leaning against the smaller girl, "Ash?"

"Huh?" she ran her hand thru blond locks, mind drifting off to sleep as she had a long day.

"Were you scared?" Ashley opened her eyes and stared at a coat hanging just beyond where the two laid, "You don't have to answer if you..."

"Terrified,"

"Me too," lifting her head brown orbs searched the blonde's features.

"What do you mean?"

"When I was shot," Spencer started and Ashley knew the girl was talking about prom, the blond finally brought it up by her self, her voice taking on a far a way whisper as if this conversation was meant only for them and not even the walls had the right to listen, Spencer crawled further up into Ashley's lap so her head laid on the top of the brunette's shoulder and her mouth sat at the base of Ashley's ear, her hot breath tickling the skin, "I don't remember much...the fight, pain but the most vivid thing about the whole thing wasn't anything I saw...it was the feeling of your hand in mine."

Spencer picked Ashley's hand up, twirling it back and forth between her two hands, mapping every dip and curve of her fingers down to her wrist, "My hand?"

She nodded, "I was cold Ashley but not my hand because you were holding it. Darkness...a lot of darkness," Spencer pulled the brunette closer if it was possible, laying her hands on Ashley's shoulders and pressing her down to the floor and pressing her ear to the brunette's chest, listening to the girl's heart beat as fingers roamed thru her hair.

"I thought of you," Ashley took up the whispering tone as well as the two laid in the closet holding each other, "When he kissed me my first thought was of you and how I couldn't betray you. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel second best Spence,"

Spencer lifted her head to gaze lovingly into brown orbs, "Never a choice right?"

"Right," she agreed as Spencer laid her head back down on her chest.

"I still hate you," the blond stated, not mean or cold just simple and calm.

"I know," Ashley responded just as calm. Both knew it would take awhile to get back to the beginning but they both wanted it badly and would work on it together. So they fell asleep, on the floor, in the closet. Paula walked in to see what was going on, smile plastered to her face she went to the bed and stripped the blanket off and walked back into the closet draping it over Spencer who was draped over Ashley.

"Sweet dreams my daughters," Paula beamed shutting the light off and walking out of the room.

TBC.


	41. Chapter 41

"Ashley wake up," the brunette felt a slight breeze on her ear.

"Five more minutes Spence please," she tried swatting the girl and turning over only to receive giggling.

"Come Ash," Spencer reached out and hauled the now a wake Davies.

"What?" tiredness threatening to take hold yet again. With out a word Spencer led her downstairs and opened the front door.

"It's raining," Spencer clapped before running out. Ashley stared in the door way, the water was red and loud gun fire was going off. The brilliant white and red flames popping off in the night, bullets whizzing over head but Spencer didn't seem to notice as she danced in the thickening rain, the blood like substance coating her pajamas.

"Spencer come back inside!" she yelled as panic started to take hold. But the teen was to engrossed in dancing, she stopped for a second and tilted her head back licking the blood water off her face and drinking it from the night air.

Behind her a dark shadow began moving forward, Ashley watched in fear as Aiden approached with his hand tucked under his shirt at the waist of his jeans, "Ashley come out and play!" Spencer yelled happily, waving for her girlfriend to come dance.

"Spencer look out!" Ashley tried to move but the faster she wanted to go the slower each step was. The girl wheeled around to stare at the boy, a staring contest ensued. Him and her locked in a battle of glares while the brunette tried rushing forward. Finally Aiden looked away, defeated. Spencer turned to face Ashley a huge smile plastered to her face; she walked forward and grabbed the brunette's head bringing her in for a soft kiss, the blood mixing with the saltiness of Spencer's mouth.

"Your mine," Spencer stated pulling out of the kiss and laying her forehead on Ashley's.

"NEVER!" Aiden yelled over the constant sound of bullets flying by, his hand finally came out from under his shirt, sporting a nice hand gun. Pulling the trigger Ashley watched the bullet in slow motion, exit the barrel in a flash of light, whiz past the now slow motion rain, parting each drop as if it was meant to kill that individual lone tear but it didn't because it wasn't meant for the rain it was meant for her.

"SPENCER!" Ashley screamed bolting up right in the closet, alone in the closet. She searched the small area but to no avail. Groggily she stood up, her body felt like jello, hand shooting out to the wall to stabilize herself. Once the queasiness subsided she made her way down stairs to find the house almost dead silent and empty besides Clay sitting on the couch watching television, "Where's Spencer?"

Clay jumped and spun around on the couch, "God Ashley you scared the crap out of me..." he took some deep breaths, _always over reacting_ she thought.

"Sorry," she sat down next to him.

"It's cool, um are you okay?" Clay noticed how pale her skin was except where her lip was busted as the red welt contrasted against her usually naturally tanned flesh.

"Nightmare, so Spencer?" Ashley tried to sound nonchalant while staring at the television screen, watching the game host talk about bonus prizes or what not.

"Can't you ever think of anything besides my sister?" she glanced over at him expecting a disapproving frown instead she got a sly smile and a raise of an eye brow.

"Nope," she smiled back.

"Right, mom woke her up a while ago. She had an appointment at eight to meet with Dr. Noble, the psychologist. So it's just us for dinner, unless you need to get home and check up on Kyla." She could see he really didn't want to be alone in the house.

"I don't know let me call and check in," he nodded and went back to watching the game show. She got up and entered the kitchen, whipping out her cell phone.

"Hello, bed bound Davies talking..." Kyla answered.

Ashley started laughing, "Ky what the hell kind of greeting is that?"

"Well well well if it isn't the Spencer whipped Davies, how are you?" Kyla laughed.

"That was not funny Kyla, why would you even say such a thing?" Ashley asked harshly into the phone. Her words bringing back the conversation from the beach.

"Sorry...um...sorry," Kyla didn't know what to say, "What's wrong?"

"I didn't mean...look if Aiden comes by don't let him in the house."

"Ash just because you're mad at him doesn't mean I have to be,"

"And you don't have to, just please until I get home don't let him in."

"Fine, when you coming back any ways?"

"Um tonight if you want me to. It's just Clay and me in the house right now,"

"How is your brother from a different mother doing?"

"My what? What are you talking about?"

"Think about it Ash, since meeting Spencer you've like got an almost whole functioning family. A loving girlfriend, a brilliant cute adorably smart sister..."

"Let's not get carried away there Ky," Ashley laughed.

"Two brothers and with every text message I receive about how cool Paula is being a surrogate mother."

"Wow," Ashley thought about it and Kyla was right. Since meeting the blond she went from hardly seeing her parents to a full family, well not completely full, "Now if only I didn't lose both my dads."

"Oh I didn't mean to bring that up,"

"Whatever," she tried to play it off, "But your right and family should stick together so prepare to get a visit from sister and brother..." Ashley laughed as she hung up the phone before Kyla said anything else.

Clay sauntered into the kitchen, "So you staying?" he asked grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"Nope," she watched his face drop.

"Say hi to Kyla for me," he nodded.

"Why not say hi yourself?" she asked grabbing the bottle from him and dragging him towards the door, "What do you want for dinner bro?"

Clay looked at her skeptically for a minute, "Pizza..." he suggested. She smiled and pulled out of the drive way.

"Good choice," they pulled up to the pizza place ordered than took the food back to the mansion for dinner and a movie.

TBC.


	42. Chapter 42

Spencer woke up around six thirty, the dark closet gaining just enough light from the hall way to illuminate Ashley beneath her. The blanket draped over them adding to the heat of their bodies, she felt so safe and loved at this moment. Lifting her hand she traced Ashley's jaw and lips with her finger tips, barely grazing the skin as not to wake her up. The older girl's breathing was calm and soothing.

"Spence," the teen turned her head to see her mom standing in the door way, "We have to go...you have an appointment with Dr. Noble at eight."

"I don't want to go," she whispered.

"You mean you don't want to get off her," Paula nodded toward the sleeping girl, a blush worked its way up the teenagers face making Paula happy because Spencer had only been responding with either anger or sadness since waking up from the coma and now there was embarrassment, Paula walked over and bent down to stare into her daughters eyes, than she glanced at the brunette, reaching out she brushed some loose hair behind the girl's ear, "She'll be here when we get back."

"Promise?" Paula nodded; smiling Spencer stood up and put the blanket over Ashley, kissing her on the forehead, "I love you..."

Once in the car silence took over, Paula didn't know how to talk to Spencer any more. So much had happened in such a small amount of time. From the drivers seat she ran her eyes over the girl beside her every once in a while, taking in how grown up Spencer looked.

Spencer stared out the window, eyes scanning the heavens and stars. It reminded her of the night she jumped out the window, she was using Ashley as her nite light again, she thought she got over that but than the girl would do something special and sweet and Spencer fell again. Her mom pulled into an underground parking lot, parking two spaces from the elevator. Once in Paula pressed level 17, still neither spoke but it was a comfortable silence unlike the other times they didn't talk to each other.

The elevator doors opened revealing an eerie hall way with hardly any lights on because everyone else had gone home for the night. They made there way down the left, passing doors and each silently reading off the numbers...3012...3013...3014...and Dr. Noble's office as instructed 3015 was slightly ajar beckoning them in.

Inside the room was well lit, the receptionist desk was empty as was all the seats in the waiting room, a lady about thirty one came out of the large oak doors to the right. Her red hair piled high on her head in a tight bun, glasses snug against her nose covering piecing green eyes. She wore grey slacks, a white blouse and some running shoes causing Spencer to try and suppress a smile.

"I like to be comfortable while walking," Dr. Noble smiled seeing the humorous look on the teen's face, "Paula it's nice to see you again, I just wish it was on better circumstances."

"Me too Charlie," Paula gripped the other woman into a tight hug that seemed to last forever.

Spencer cocked her eye brow, this lady seemed familiar but she just couldn't place her, "So?" she asked breaking the two women out of there hug.

"Right, it's late so lets get started. Paula why don't you wait here, the remote to the television is just behind the reception desk. We'll be out shortly," Dr. Noble nodded toward the desk while holding her hand out for Spencer to walk into the next room.

The two made their way into the room which was lined with various degrees, one desk and two semi comfy looking chairs in front of it and one of those half reclining couches, _she is so not getting me to lay that_.

"Take a seat," Dr. Noble pointed to one of the chairs as she sat behind the desk.

"How does this work?" Spencer wondered feeling a little nervous about this woman assessing her.

"We talk," she smiled.

"That's it, we just talk?"

"Yep..." silence. Dr. Noble picked up a pad of paper and a pen, "So I heard you went back to school today, how was it?"

"School," Spencer shrugged not wanting to talk to this stranger. The woman nodded and wrote something down on the paper causing Spencer to fidget in her chair, _what the hell did she write down? _

"Your mom told me about Ashley..."

Spencer sat up straighter cutting the Dr. off, "You know during lunch I saw my teacher Mr. Mantinze playing the guitar and he showed me how to play like a few lines and it was so cool,"

"Really, have you ever played before?" Dr. Noble asked writing a few more things on the paper, Spencer trying to lean forward inconspicuously to try and see the words but it was useless.

"No, but I want to and Ashley is letting me borrow one of hers."

"That's nice of her,"

"She's always nice at least to me, she's a bit of a rebel or she was..." Spencer sighed allowing her memories to play back before prom.

"How did you two meet?"

"I was lost..." Spencer trailed off thinking about that day.

Dr. Noble had to keep the conversation flowing, "Metaphorically?"

"No literally, like the idiot I' am I couldn't find my lab so I asked her if she knew where it was."

"And you hit it off?"

"Hell no...sorry I mean no not really,"

"It's alright Spencer you can use those words in here," Dr. Noble assured keeping her green eyes on the teen who slouched down under her scrutinizing glare, "Go on..."

"Like I said we didn't hit it off unless you count hitting heads, I made her spill her coffee and she bitched at me. But then she found me after school and apologized,"

"Did you make any other friends?"

Spencer shifted uneasily; "Yeah..." she trailed off keeping her eyes on the different diplomas.

"Like who?"

"So you went to Cambridge?" Spencer asked hoping out of her seat and walking to the diploma she saw in the middle of the others.

"Yes I did," Dr. Noble tilted her head scanning the girl, making mental and physical notes.

"Is it like a good school or something?"

"One of the best, why don't you sit down..."

"Nah I'm good,"

"Very well...so do you plan on going to college?"

"Of course...doesn't everybody?"

"No. Not everyone goes,"

Spencer spun on her heel staring at the older woman, "You're the candy lady!" she almost screamed in delight in the fact she finally remembered where she saw the woman before.

Dr. Noble began to laugh, "I can't believe you remember that..."

"Yeah you came over every what Saturday, you always had those hard butterscotch candies. I tried finding them but the ones I bought never tasted as good," Spencer's voice drifted to sadness real quick as she plopped back down in the chair.

"The ones I gave you are a family recipe, would you like one now?"

"Sure," Spencer shrugged trying to remain cool and calm the way she'd seen Ashley do it, but inside she was jumping at joy to be able to taste her favorite candy from when she was a kid.

Dr. Noble bent down opening her bottom drawer and pulled out two pieces of candy, handing one to Spencer and keeping one for her self, "So about those other friends you made?" the older woman asked watching Spencer popped the candy into her mouth and suck on it in thought for a moment.

"I met Chelsea well actually my brother did, oh guess what?" Dr. Noble nodded for her to continue, "She's an artist like really good. I mean she has had them up in art museums and stuff like that but she can't see people seeing them if that makes sense and the only person who ever makes sense in out little group is Sean, you know he got me to go over to this table during Club Day at King, the Gay-Straight America table or something like that. I got a concussion because this one guy thought another guy was checking him out but he so was not."

"Wow, anybody else?" Dr. Noble was writing like crazy but Spencer was so comfortable by now she didn't care.

"Let's see, Boz he's Sean's cousin and...Um, oh Kyla, she's Ashley's half sister from her father's side. They didn't even know each other until their dad died and Kyla came from Baltimore to see Ashley, man you should have met Raife he is so cool, Ashley took me to see him for dinner and we ate and listened to music and talked."

"Sounds like you've been busy since moving up here,"

"I guess..." silence, "Are we done?"

Glances at watch, "Yeah we're done. Why don't you tell your mom to come in and wait in the waiting room."

Spencer walked out; "She wants to see you..." the teen flopped down in a chair and took the remote from her mom. 

"So?" Paula wondered taking a seat where Spencer had been a few minutes ago.

"I agree with the doctor's diagnoses of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and depression, also ADD, if you watch closely she doesn't like to be still to long and her train of thought wonders constantly. I brought up Ashley and she completely avoided the topic, I won't know more about that until a few more sessions."

"Do you think..."

"I don't think anything Paula," Dr. Noble interrupted, "I merely go on what a see and hear. Can you bring her in again?"

"Sure, did you have a date in mind?" 

"This Saturday around two o' clock?"

"Sounds fine,"

"Good...I'll set it up with my secretary. Has she been taking the medicine prescribed?"

"Yes,"

"Are you sure?" Dr. Noble asked.

"Why do you ask?" 

"No reason, make sure she eats and sleeps regularly."

"What about the outbursts?"

"How do you handle them now?"

"Usually tell her to stop or calm down, honestly I don't know how to deal with them."

"That's common, each situation is different. Most times try and listen, find a clue as to what set her off and remedy the cause. Other times fight back,"

"Fight back?"

"Yes, she needs to have it hammered into her that things aren't her fault or she didn't do things wrong, constant praise is a good thing but don't over do it. Oh and one more thing, can you bring Ashley with you during the next session?"

"I can ask her, sure, why do you need her here?"

"Just to talk, find out a little more information that Spencer is avoiding but Ashley can talk about." 

"Can't you ask me?"

"Not really, the girlfriend or boyfriend usually sees things we as parents miss because their love makes them really pay close attention to small almost minute details."

"Okay then hopefully the three of us will see you Saturday," 

"Saturday it is and maybe we can go out and talk, just the two of us like old times?"

"Sure Charlie I love to," the two women hugged than Spencer and Paula left. Heading back home to an empty house.

TBC.


	43. Chapter 43

Spencer stood in front of the mirror, checking her self out. She wore loose fitting jeans, just baggy enough to stay put on her hips but give her legs plenty of kicking room with a tank top.

"So take it easy," Ashley stated throwing some paper into Spencer's back pack, the girl had been fawning over her like she was some five year old getting ready for its first day at school. Spencer had been so pissed when her girlfriend wasn't home when she got back, her mind wondering around different scenarios mostly of how she probably left and would never come back or went with Aiden. But the moment Clay and Ashley walked in all hated left, like it had never been there and that scared her beyond anything how her emotions changed so suddenly, but her girlfriend had been with her brother, the responsible Clay, how much trouble could they possible get in? 

"Shouldn't I be the one telling you that?" she asked, "I'm not the one staying home feeling sick..." Spencer strode away from the mirror placing her hands on Ashley's shoulders stilling her movements.

"I just don't think I'm up for it today,"

"That's fine Ash, I can handle school with out you. I did it for sixteen years before I met you, I'll be fine." Spencer pecked her on the lips, Ashley wrapped her arms around the younger girl's waist securing her so she wasn't able to pull away.

"Yes but you didn't have a fiery temper..."

"And I still don't," Spencer tried to push away, starting to get aggravated which made Ashley smirk as if the girl was proving her point.

"So I'll see you later tonight?"

"Yeah yeah, wait aren't you going home?"

"Yep, I'm hanging with Ky today but after school I'll come back over if you want?" after all the dreams she'd been having she was afraid to let the blond out of her sight, in the dreams Spencer always died, it varied to some degree...either Aiden killed her or Ashley killed her or she killed herself. It wasn't doing wonders for their relationship in the end but she kept them to herself.

"If you want," she stated nonchalantly picking up her back pack, "Love you?"

Ashley hated how Spencer said it now a days, it always sounded like a question and the brunette wasn't sure if the girl was asking if Ashley loved her or asking the brunette if it was okay for the blond to love her, "Love you too babe..." she respond in a way that told the other teen she wasn't going to answer the question she should know it.

The ride to school seemed shorter today but the destination was the same. Once in the parking lot her cool and calm emotions switched violently again as she watched Aiden stroll across the campus like he owned it. But she wasn't going to react, she couldn't for Ashley sake. So she went to class, she pretty much buried her emotions deep down until lunch when the confrontation was no longer avoidable.

TBC.


	44. Chapter 44

The lunch bell rang ending the teachers torturous lecture, Spencer gathered her things and headed into the hall. Quickly getting in line for the soda machine, which becomes like a rock star with how many kids line up for it, waiting what seems like hours to get a soda for lunch. Kids are pushing each other around but she kept her ground silently praying for them to hurry up.

Finally she was the next in line after like five full minutes of standing in a high school mash pit; the guy in front of her slipped his dollar in...it came out. Spencer started bouncing from foot to foot, in out in out...God; she drove her hand into her pocket. Pulling out her change, shifting thru it for an extra dollar, _twenty five cents...okay nickel that makes thirty, yes ten cents that's...right forty, another twenty five why didn't I find you before so..._she started to recount, _okay that's fifty plus the fifteen cents is sixty five_, she glanced up at the machine where the boy was still trying to get his dollar in. People in the back started screaming to hurry up, eyes back on her hand, _I need seventy five cents...ten cents please let me have it..._ her hand went driving back into her pocket, searching for any other coins, _yes!_ She pulled out ten cents, her hand shot forward and grabbed the boys paper dollar, he turned to her quickly in shock at the fact this girl just robbed him.

She pocketed the paper one and leaned forward putting in the coins, "What'd you want?" she asked. He still stood there in shock, like he truly couldn't believe what happened, "Better talk or I'm just pushing a button?"

"Cherry coke," he stuttered out. Nodding she pressed the button and out popped his soda; she shoved it into his hands and shooed him away. Than put her four quarters in and pressed for a regular coke, once it was in her hand she forcefully made her way out of the group of students.

The sun beamed down on her as she stood in the hallway looking out into the quad, the big question...did she go out to the quad where she would most likely see Aiden and beat the shit out of him than go home and try to explain to Ashley why she would probably be going to jail soon or she could go to her next class and set next to the door and day dream about her wonderful girlfriend...choices, choices. Not really, Spencer turned on her heel and made her way toward English oh what fun she'd have in there...not.

As she rounded the corner her feet stopped working, there by her class room was Aiden. Leaning close to a girl who was pinned on the wall next to her class room door, the two were kissing and groping, he was barely thrusting his hips that Spencer swore if they didn't have cloths on he'd been fucking her. She would have been better off staying the quad where a whole bunch of people were, bystanders to keep her in line but not here, nope the hall was empty except Spencer and the two making out.

"Hey rapist!" Spencer couldn't believe what she just yelled but it got there attention. The two disengaged and stared at her, realization hit that the girl he'd been kissing was blue eyed Brenda from class yesterday, "Welcoming a new one huh?"

"What's your problem?" Aiden leaned against the wall with no interest in talking to his once good friend.

"You did not just ask me that?"

He cocked his head to the side; he was checking her out bluntly, "I believe I did..."

"You son of a bitch," Spencer strolled over to him only stopping when Brenda stepped in her way.

"Look I don't know what's going on but..."

"You're right you don't, stay out of it," Spencer growled. Brenda took a step forward, laying her hand upon the shorter girl's hip.

"Not so shy today huh?" she whispered. Spencer gulped suddenly feeling very awkward with this girl standing there but it soon diminished as Aiden pushed Brenda away.

"Hell no you ain't taking another one away from me,"

"News flash she's not your property and I didn't take Ash away she gladly ran from you,"

Aiden stood toe to toe with the shorter girl, "Really...ran you say?" Spencer nodded, "She didn't seem to be running when I had my hands in her pants..." if he was going to say anything else no one would have known.

Spencer rushed forward using all the strength she had considering how weak her body truly was at this moment in time. Aiden fell to the ground with the girl on top of him, she was straddling the boy's waist, "I never...ever...want...to...see...you...near...her...again!" she said punctuation each word with a strong punch to the face. Her body trembled in rage at what Aiden had turned into after prom or maybe he had always been this way but hid it deep down. She was so lost in flying punches and hating thoughts she didn't notice the bell ringing or the kids crowding around to watch. Nor did she see the blood smearing on her hands, splashing on her shirt, or sprinkling her face.

"Get off!" Aiden yelled blocking the next fist and tossing the girl backwards. She rolled off his legs and on to the ground, he stood shakily holding onto the wall for support, "You'll regret that!"

"Is that a threat?" she asked her breathing irregular.

"It's a promise!" he stormed off wiping his nose and mouth as he walked away, wincing from the pain.

"Come on," a hand slipped into hers pulling her away from the stunned crowded, most who knew the blond as the most kind and caring person but from the display she put on today no one was going to mess with her any more.

Spencer sat in the passenger seat of the car, she felt in a daze, completely exhausted. Her whole body seemed to grow heavier with each passing moment as her muscles relaxed; she glanced over to see Brenda sitting patiently, "You want to tell me what that was about?" Spencer shook her head, "Oh now we're back to shy Spence..."

Spencer cocked an eye brow; it was the first time a stranger had called her that. Brenda leaned forward causing Spencer to tense up, a small smile danced on the other girl's lips, "Don't worry I'm not going to do anything to you..." Brenda leaned further forward allowing her arm to brush the blonde's thighs and stomach as she reached down and grabbed the handle on Spencer's seat making it recline so the tired teen was half sitting half laying down, "Not yet anyway," she whispered.

Spencer wanted to protest or tell her she was with someone but couldn't get her brain to work her mouth beyond that of a yawn which escaped almost effortlessly, "Tired there Spencer?" Brenda laughed.

The blond nodded sheepishly a slight blush working its way to her cheeks; Brenda turned the radio on quietly. With the music on and the chair back she felt her self drifting off to sleep.

Brenda watched the sleeping girl reaching her hand over and brushing some blood stained hair off the girl's face, a knock on her window startled her, she rolled it down and stared at the offender, "You don't look so good?"

"You run into her fist several times and see how good you're doing?" Aiden spit out holding an ice pack to his nose, "Why did I have to let her beat me up again?"

"How many times do we have to go over it?" Brenda clicked her tongue making sure that both whispered so they didn't wake her up.

"As many as it takes," he replied, "but uh did it work?"

"Yes meat head she's in my car isn't she, the plan worked...now go clean up and I'll call you later."

"Sure thing babe," he leaned in and kissed Brenda who reciprocate as best she could in the angle they were in. Once he was gone she turned the car on and drove to the beach where she parked and waited for the girl to wake up.

TBC.


	45. Chapter 45

Spencer awoke to soft wind playing across her skin, the smell of the ocean wafting her nostrils with salt and sand. Opening her eyes was slightly difficult as she was still kind of tired, once open she noticed she was in an empty car. Reaching down she grabbed the handle on her seat which popped her back to a sitting position, the sky hazed in red and orange as the sun began setting behind the massive ocean.

Brenda was sitting on the hood of the car staring out at the empty beach, rubbing the sleepies out of her eyes she opened the door which made Brenda turn her head, a smile stretching on her lips as Spencer came to stand next to her. Brenda's black hair pulled into a pony tail whipping around in the wind; she tried to not look at Spencer.

"Thanks," the blond spoke after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

"No problem, so how many Spencer's are there?" Brenda giggled at the confused look on her companions face.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing just I've dealt with shy Spencer and angry Spencer, any more I should know about?" she asked knocking her shoulder into the shorter girl.

Spencer shook her head, "So I take it shy Spencer is the dominate..." a blush rose quickly on the blonde's cheek.

"I'm not shy,"

"Really, so if I did this..." Brenda turned and slipped her fingers into Spencer's belt loops yanking her closer.

Spencer put her hands on Brenda's and stepped back, "I'm dating someone..."

"I know," Brenda cocked her head, "I'm not hitting on you if that's what you think." She turned to face the beach again.

"But..."

"I just did that to see how'd you react, I'm a bit of tease if you haven't noticed. Making people uncomfortable is fun making shy and innocent people uncomfortable is a lot better; their reactions are all most automatic."

"I'm not shy," Spencer demanded yet she had to admit that this girl made her feel like a little girl, shy, scared and yet some what excited.

"What ever you say rock star,"

"Rock star?"

"Yep your new nick name, so it's late I should get you home..." Brenda spun around and hoped back into her car, Spencer stared after for a moment trying to take everything in but her mind was just too tired so she spun around and hoped in.

The car was silent except the occasional direction, soon they were parked in front of her house, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Spencer nodded, "We really need to work on your vocabulary." Brenda sighed with a smirk on her face.

"Bye," Spencer breathed out as she started stepping out of the car.

"And she speaks," Brenda called out making Spencer laugh; "I'll see you around rock star..." the black haired girl winked before driving away.

Shaking her head and replaying the day's events she made her way inside to see her mom, Ashley and Clay arms folded glaring at her, her mouth went dry.

"Is that blood?" Paula gasped; Spencer glanced down seeing the huge amount of blood on her shirt and hands.

"Are you hurt?" Ashley and the other two rushed forward trying to find some place on the blond that had been injured.

"Aiden..."

Ashley hated that name now, she tensed, "What?"

"I...his blood,"

"You fought him I thought that was just a rumor," Clay shook his head disbelieve. With the way kids had been telling it the scene had been a blood bath with Spencer having the rage and strength of ten men and honestly he couldn't see his little sister beating any one no matter how mad she'd been but obviously he was wrong.

"Spencer you promised you'd avoid him," Ashley looked disappointed.

"I did...I tried really I did. I was in line for soda and then this boy's dollar wouldn't go in and I went to class instead of the quad and there he was making out with Brenda and I...he said things and I pushed him and hit him and hit him and hit him over and over, I'm so sorry Ashley I didn't mean to lie to you please forgive me..." Spencer flung her self into the girl's arms which instinctively wrapped around her.

The three of them glanced at each other not expecting this kind of reaction, but now a days no one knew how Spencer would react to anything, "Shhhhh...You didn't lie to me Spence, come on let's get you out of those clothes." Ashley led the shaking girl upstairs and into the bathroom.

She ran and grabbed some clean clothes, helped Spencer peel off the old ones and put the new ones on. Dipped a wash rag in some warm water and began scrubbing the dried blood off the girl's hands, "So where'd you go after wards?"

"Brenda took me to her car and I fell asleep," Spencer kept her eyes on Ashley's hands.

"Who's Brenda?"

Spencer glanced up _was that jealous in her voice?_ "Um I met her yesterday in music class."

"So you slept in her car?" _Yep jealousy_.

"Yeah, when I woke up she had taken me to the beach than she drove me home."

"Is she pretty?"

"Ashley!"

"What? It's a legitimate question," Ashley smiled at hearing her girlfriend laughing. She hadn't heard that laugh for some time now and it made her melt inside.

"I don't know," she leaned forward and captured Ashley lips. She slipped off the toilet crashing into her girlfriend who was now lying on the floor with Spencer lying on top of her.

"You don't know?" Ashley asked once the kiss broke.

"Nope, but..." a look of panic drifted onto the brunette's face, "you're hot..." Spencer kissed the girl's nose.

"Am I, I hadn't noticed," Ashley grinned which soon faded as Spencer rocked her hips unto Ashley's.

"I think you knew," Spencer leaned forward still rocking and building up passion in Ashley's lower region, her hot breath tickling her girlfriend's lips, just as Ashley leaned up to capture those gorgeous lips Spencer pulled away and stood up, "I'm hungry..." she stated holding her hand out for Ashley.

"Tease," Ashley groaned.

"You love it," Spencer recoiled her hand and walked out of the room with a wink.

Ashley still lying on the bath room floor stared up at the ceiling, "God do I love it," she whispered to herself still feeling the wetness flowing down her leg and knowing it was going to be awhile before it went away.

TBC.


	46. Chapter 46

Ashley strolled into the kitchen to see everyone sitting down already, meat loaf and mashed potatoes littered the table. She sat down next to Spencer.

"Let's pray," Paula smiled reaching for Clay's hand and Ashley's.

Ashley and Clay both reached for Spencer's but she kept her hands in her lap, "Spence?" Clay tapped the table to get her attention since he was sitting across from her.

"Take their hands," Paula said.

"No, I don't want to pray..."

"Why not?" Paula wondered, it was the first time Spencer was eating with the family at the table since prom.

"Actually I'm not hungry, can I go to my room?" she asked, eyes pleading with her mother.

"I really think you need to eat something," Paula shifted in her chair.

"Tomorrow I'm tired,"

"Okay sweetie, I'll be up in a little to check on you."

"You don't have to keep checking on me like some baby," Spencer's voice rose a bit.

"How many times do I have to say this, until we get the go ahead from the doctor you my dear are on suicide watch." Paula was beginning to get very aggravated at how mad her daughter got since from birth the girl had always been gentle and caring.

"I don't care about the doctor this is my life and I'm telling you to back off,"

Paula stood up throwing her crumbled napkin on the table staring hard, "I will not back off until I know you're safe and healthy."

"Well guess what, I am so leave me alone!"

"Your not," Paula insisted, "You tried to kill yourself!"

"Exactly past tense, I haven't done anything since, not even a try...beside I wasn't trying to kill myself!" Spencer yelled.

"Than what...tell me Spencer what were you trying to do?" Paula demanded. Spencer glanced at Clay than Ashley than back at her mom.

"Nothing,"

"Nothing is sitting on your bed, jumping out a window is something...do you know how scared we were, how I felt when Ashley was screaming for help in the back yard."

"I'm sorry okay geez I' am sorry what else do you want me to say?"

"There is nothing to say and you don't have to apologize, you aren't healthy but we..." she motioned to the two teens sitting quietly at the table who had been throwing there attention back and forth during the conversation, "Are going to help you...now sit back down."

"No,"

"Spencer..."

Spencer smashed her chair into the table causing everyone to jump and her mom to stop talking, "NO...I'm not going to sit down, I'm not going to pray...I' am not a puppet!" she stormed out of the room and upstairs.

"That's my fire cracker," Ashley sighed. Clay snorted in laughter at the odd inappropriate comment, she glanced up to see him trying not to laugh, her eyes settled on Paula who had a smile on her face trying to stifle her laughing fit, "What?" Ashley asked unsure of what she had said to make them bust a seam.

The two finally let it go because the complete look of confusion on Ashley's face was just the icing on the cake, "I'm sorry...Ashley...but..." Clay couldn't even finish his apology as tears streamed down his face.

"Okay it wasn't that funny," she said starting to feel the tickle of laughter building in her stomach and throat, a smile plastered to her face. It truly wasn't funny but the group needed more lighter moments and this just allowed them to laugh.

"You're right it wasn't," Paula agreed laughing harder.

"I' am going to check on her," Ashley got up and rushed out of the room before their craziness over powered her.

The moment she entered the bedroom she noticed Spencer wasn't there, she peered around the corner into the girl's closet to see her sitting down, "Okay seriously what's with you and this closet?" Ashley wondered sitting down next to her girlfriend who scooted further away.

"What are you doing?"

"Talking with a beautiful girl, what are you doing?" Ashley smirked scooting the distance over that Spencer had created the girl didn't move away so it was a start.

"Beautiful huh...hey did you bring your guitar over?" Spencer asked.

"Spence you'd think you were pregnant with all the mood swings you go thru,"

"Whatever did you?"

"Yes,"

Spencer sprang up and pulled the brunette up with her, "Go get it!" she pushed her out. The two made their way downstairs and toward the door.

"Hold it," Paula called, "Where are you guys going?"

"Just to my..."

"Don't answer her, we weren't doing anything wrong."

"Spencer..."

"Just treat me like you did before, when you hated me." Ashley laid a soothing hand on Spencer's shoulder while watching Paula who looked like she just got slapped in the face.

"I...I never hated you," she choked out.

"Right, slapping me across the face was some church mother daughter bonding technique." Ashley had to give her girl credit; she'd been getting really good at come backs.

"I'm going to go to my car and get the guitar, Spencer wait up stairs for me..."

"Do not tell me what to do, I have enough with her I don't need you to do it to."

Ashley stepped forward putting her face directly into Spencer, "Shut up!" she commanded before leaning the rest of the way in and sucking on the blonde's bottom lip earning her a whimper, "Go!" Ashley pointed up the stairs with a wink causing Spencer to groan and run up stairs.

"She thought I hated her?" Paula asked more to herself than Ashley.

"Uh Mrs. C..." Paula held a hand up stopping the girl.

"Just...leave it," the older woman turned on her heel and walked back into the kitchen to finish eating. Taking a deep breath Ashley went out and got the guitar than brought it up to Spencer's room.

"You made your mom upset," Ashley said a little too harsh.

"Is that the one your dad gave you?" she asked completely ignoring the comment.

"When are you going to give her a break?"

"Can you show me one of your dad's songs,"

Ashley smiled, "We can go around in circles with questions all night babe but are either of us going to get an answer."

"Look I don't know I don't want to yell at her or any one I just do...like..." she trailed off sitting on the bed.

Ashley sat the guitar down and joined Spencer on the bed, "Like what?"

Spencer shifted so her body was more facing Ashley's, she grabbed the brunette's hand and started playing the musicians finger's, "Okay it's like I'm in this tunnel and it's really dark and there's this small light where I can see everything but..." she picked the hand up and kissed all the knuckles.

"But what?" she wondered pulling her girlfriend back so they were both lying down with their legs dangling over the edge.

"There are two different tunnels to get to the light. One is blocked off,"

"And the other is where you become the hulk?" Spencer giggled; Ashley felt the girl's body shake.

"I guess so will you teach me?" Spencer sat up on one elbow and stared down. Memorizing every piece of Ashley, she reached out pushing auburn hair behind the older girl's ear.

"Love to," Ashley pushed Spencer off and grabbed the guitar and set it on Spencer's lap, "Now here is the A-cord..."

Spencer put her finger on Ashley's mouth, "Not like that..." when met with confusion Spencer got up and pulled her swivel desk chair out; setting Ashley down than holding a finger up exited the room. A moment later she walked back in with Glen's swivel chair, but she unscrewed the back of the chair and removed.

Ashley caught on, remembering how she saw Mr. Mantinez teaching Spencer. The blond sat down in front of Ashley, the brunette reached around and set the guitar in Spencer's hands again. Than she cupped the taller girl's hands, positioning them in the right spot, "One of my dad's songs?" she whispered causing chills to run up and down the blonde's spine.

Spencer was at a loss for words so she nodded, Ashley's chest was pressed into her back and the sweet smell of cinnamon vanilla coating her existence made thinking very hard. She hadn't felt like this when Mr. Mantinez held her, _maybe this wasn't such a good idea_.

Music began to filter into the room as two pairs of hands began to strum away at the strings, taking the two girls' into a world of their own. Spencer closed her eyes letting her mind settle on nothing but sound and touch, the feel of Ashley's soft skin guiding her hands across the skinny strings, her ears picking up gentle waves of pleasure from the music and Ashley's breathing. The tunnel she was in got smaller but she wasn't afraid, in fact she welcomed it.

Ashley began to sing her father's words into Spencer's ear, feeling the girl tremble beneath her mouth; it felt like her dad had created the words especially for his daughter to sing to her true love. Spencer's head fell back onto Ashley's shoulder, the brunette keeping her eyes on the guitar and their intertwined fingers moving as one.

The song ended but neither dared to move, sitting still and taking the moment in. Ashley broke the moment by removing the guitar from Spencer's lap, setting it to stand up right against the desk. Spencer turned around to meet brown orbs of lust, "Ash..."

Nothing more was said as two pairs of lips found each other, moving against the other in a frenzy, breathing was becoming a problem so they broke away, "I want you..."

"We can't," Spencer breathlessly tried to move away. Ashley tackled her to the floor.

"We can," she smirked laying flat against her girlfriend.

"Ash my door," Spencer nodded toward the offending piece of wood that no longer would shut.

Ashley cocked an eye brow, cursing the door in her mind before a sly smile crossed her features. She pulled her girlfriend up and walked toward the closet, "Ever done it in one of these?" she asked kissing the nape of Spencer's neck hitting her pulse point.

"Ashley my mom could walk in," she tried to dislodge Ashley who tightened her grip.

"Shut up," Ashley commanded, her hand dragging up ward from the taller girl's inner thigh to cup her center, "Like it when I'm in charge Spence?" she asked feeling the wetness increasing between Spencer's legs, a blush rose up and she tried to push away, "Nope..." Ashley giggled tackling the girl back to the floor in the closet, "I need some fun..."

TBC.


	47. Chapter 47

"No, seriously Ashley we can't do this,"

"Seriously Spence we can," Ashley groaned, her hand reaching behind Spencer's head. Soon the blond found her hands tied with a huge studded belt her mom bought her a couple years ago that she never actually wore. It didn't match any out fits but now Ashley found a perfect use for them, "Ash?"

"Okay quiet," Ashley placed several kisses along her jaw line, sucking the skin in every once in a while and enjoying the feeling of Spencer withering beneath her.

"I don't want my mom walking in on us naked," Spencer whined trying to get Ashley to understand.

The brunette leaned on her elbow looking down on her girlfriend, a sly smirk spread on her lips, "Than we'll keep the clothes on."

Spencer felt her body warm instantly, "No...no we can be naked I'm good with that."

"No your right Spencer, don't want mommy walking in on us bare..." Ashley wiggled her eye brows before lowering her head to capture Spencer's lips.

Spencer hated when they made out with clothes, okay hate is such a strong word, the thing is if she wore clothes Ashley was a tease and not just a little, sure when they are naked the girl's tease each other but Ashley ups the ante when Spencer is still wearing clothes.

Ashley's hand found it's way to her center, rubbing her slowly thru her jeans, bringing her back to another time. No longer was she in the dark closet...

_The class room was dimly lit as the lights were turned off and the television blasted Hamlet at an obscenely loud volume. Each student had a piece of paper on their desks, they had to watch the movie and fill in the answers. No one was really paying attention except Spencer and a few other students; she had her full concentration on the movie finding it very exciting and moving._

_Ashley on the other hand had her concentration on something else or more like someone else. The girl was oblivious at how sexy she looked at the moment, her eyes wide with excitement only innocent Spencer could get when watching a boring movie for English, her leg bouncing up and down making her skirt ride up a little each time. A pen firmly placed between her lips, two fingers twirling the device back and forth. It was driving Ashley insane._

_So she scooted her chair closer to Spencer, her hand placed gently on the girl's bouncing thigh which stops immediately. She turns away from the movie with a smile, "What?" she mouths._

"_Nothing," Ashley mouthed back with a smile to match that of Spencer's. _

_  
"I love you," Spencer winked before returning her attention to the movie. That was all it took, the wink, and her patient walls came tumbling down. Her hand began to caress Spencer's inner thigh._

_Ashley could see how hard Spencer was trying to concentrate on the movie and not the hand placed so close to her hips, the hand began to get closer and closer, Ashley leaned forward allowing her lips to just barely touch the girl's ear lobe, "Didn't I tell you not to wear a skirt today, it's cold out side." Ashley felt the goosebumps rise on the pale white skin as her hand found Spencer's underwear._

"_Ash," Spencer whispered reaching her hand down to receive a smack._

"_Watch the movie Spence," Ashley told her while rubbing slowly, her fingers gliding over the cotton._

_Gulping and trying to keep her breathing under control she glared at Ashley, "We're going to get caught!"_

"_Not if you stop talking," fingers felt the wetness seeping thru soaking the cotton between the younger girl's legs._

_Spencer couldn't stop her, the bar of the desk prevented her from scooting away and if she moved closer well it just gave the older girl more room to work. She wanted to slide down in the chair and hide her face but than some one might know something was going on and if she reached down to remove the girl's hand she got a very painful smack._

"_You're so wet," Ashley purred slipping a finger in the side of Spencer's underwear, running it up and down the fold spreading the younger girl's juices, "Just think Spence, I'm taking you right here right now in front of every one." She kissed the base of the blonde's neck._

"_God," Spencer moaned out in a breathless whisper, her body betraying her frightened mind by sliding down and opening her legs just a bit more, earning her a small chuckle from Ashley, "I hate you." _

"_Really?" the older girl smirked slipping one finger inside her girlfriend, pulling out and circling her clit. Spencer's hips started rocking forward in the chair, back and forth, while the relentless finger traced her aching nub. Pushing for a second, adding pressure than going back to the air light touching, her stomach tightening as the tension built up. _

_Blue orbs scanned the class room praying no one looked back even for a second, the music blasted from the television where a dance was being held. She saw Madison talking to a jock about three seats up and to the left, Spencer's brow furrowed if the cheer leader saw what was going on...god the whole school would know how much of a slut she was being fingered by her girlfriend in a class room._

"_Ash," Spencer tried to say but the heat on her skin swept all coherent thought away. She was lost in a sea of pleasure with Ashley's lips brushing just behind her ear, sucking and nipping with her teeth while her hand expertly teased the blond._

"_Cum for me baby, right here..." Ashley's hot breath ignited the fire in her belly worse. A light gleam of sweat covered her exerted flesh as the pressure was nearing it's peak but she held on, gripping the edge of her desk trying not to let the power over take her. So afraid that her mouth would betray her in the end and every one would know, she couldn't take it if they knew. As if sensing the conflict Ashley sped up her ministrations, dead set on making her girlfriend cum whether the girl wanted to or not. She applied more pressure to Spencer's clit, rolling it between her fingers, pulling it and rubbing._

_Spencer's breathing was erratic as her hips thrusted to meet every stroke. Ashley stared at the girl for a moment, the flickering light of the television dancing on her face which was red and flushed. Her eyes shut as Ashley put another finger inside her increasing the pace, "I can't..." Spencer whimpered._

"_Yes you can baby, cum for me..." still Ashley could see the walls up allowing Spencer to hold control, "Unless you cum I'm not moving my hand even if the lights come up."_

_Ashley had to laugh at the fear stricken expression that crossed her girlfriend's face, "You...you w-wouldn't?" her only answer was a curl of the fingers buried deep with in her hitting her G-spot making her hips buck forward._

"_I so would," the brunette kissed her passionately, running her tongue along the girl's bottom lip. Spencer's mouth opened to accept it but Ashley refused to venture further in instead licking and moistening the blonde's lips, sucking and nipping at the bruised flesh, "The movies all most over Spence,"_

_The door opened and the teacher walked back in, her eyes widen in fear. They were going to get caught, he was going to look back and just know what was happening. Then the class would know, than the school than her parents. God her parents how would she explain to them what went down, "I can't..." she breathed out again._

"_You can," Ashley added a third finger, using her thumb to graze over the girl's clit. Using her free hand she picked up Spencer's back pack and placed it in the blonde's lap just as the lights came on and as promised Ashley's hand never moved, well it moved just now a way._

_The teacher began talking about the film and turning in papers, but Spencer couldn't pay attention as the fire consumed her very being, Ashley winked at her before twisting her clit clock wise opening the flood gate as the orgasm rocketed out. Spencer tried to fit the moan/scream wanting to escape from her dry lips but it wasn't working, she placed her knuckle in her mouth and bit down focusing on the pain. Ashley removed her hand._

"_Spencer are you okay?" the teacher asked now all eyes were on her. _

_She knew her face was flushed but now it probably burned a darker newer shade of red from embarrassment, "Fine..." she squeaked out causing the class to laugh._

"_Are you sure?" she glanced over to Ashley who tilted her head innocently. Spencer eyed the teacher and nodded furiously. _

_The bell rang and Spencer collapsed her head on the desk burying her head in shame in her arms. The sound of exaggerated sucking echoed in her ear before a husky deep voice whispered, "A taste for later...my house eight o' clock."_

The orgasm settled down, she was back in the closet with her girlfriend a smile placed firmly on her lips. She felt Ashley removing her hand from her pants which had been on the whole time; the older girl crawled back up her and untied her hands. Kissing every inch of skin exposed, "That good huh?" Ashley asked seeing the giant smile.

"Great," Spencer sighed as the peaceful bliss began to take over, "But I don't think we're quite down." She flipped them so now she was straddling Ashley.

Kissing her jaw line down her neck, sucking for a moment on the brunette's pulse point, feeling the heart beat increase in speed and intensity. Spencer lifted the t shirt revealing Ashley's perfect toned abs, glistening with sweat from her ministrations done to Spencer earlier. Laying her lips just above the belly button she blew a raspberry causing Ashley to jump up shrieking with laughter, "you did not just do that?"

"Oh I did," she giggled laying Ashley down again. Taking the bottom of the shirt in her hands, moving it upwards slowly while caressing the flesh beneath her fingers, once the stomach stared up at her she bent down kissing the same spot than took a deep breath blowing yet another raspberry and another and another.

Ashley was flailing around on the ground, tears had begun to form in the corner of her eyes, "Stop it Spence...come...on...stop," she pleaded.

"I love you," Spencer stopped and spoke with as much seriousness and sincerity she could muster. Ashley stared back.

"I know I love you too..." Spencer leaned down capturing her girlfriend's lips, the passion building yet again. The blond slid down the body beneath her, unbuttoning the jeans, zipping it down than slowly teasingly pulled the jeans and underwear down bronze legs. Her mouth attached itself to Ashley's center, paying attention to the whole thing, from the harden clit peaking out between the glistening swollen lips to the hole she desperately wanted to feel.

"God Spencer don't stop," Ashley moaned. Spencer slid up her body removing the said shirt and bra, hands cupping the perfect fleshy mounds. Squeezing and kneading, loving the feel of soft supple flesh in her hands. The two bodies moved as one, legs and arms tangling. Ashley ran her fingers thru blond locks that cascaded around her head in a water fall of silken waves.

Her right hand released the mound and headed down as her mouth found the breast she had abandoned for warmer weather in the south. Three fingers slipped in as her palm began a steady rhythm on the older girl's clit. Moans escaping from Ashley's mouth all most constantly.

It wasn't long before Ashley broke; falling from the cliff Spencer had worked her to. Ashley brought Spencer up and locked lips once again tasting her self on the plump speaking device.

They laid there for what seemed like an eternity, basking in the after glow. Holding on to each other in their safe heaven of Spencer's closet, "I'm hungry..."

"Didn't you just eat?" Ashley asked with a laugh.

"Hey," Spencer slapped her on the arm.

"Okay okay sorry, I didn't eat either so come on." Ashley sat up, standing she held her hand out for her girlfriend who gladly accepted, "I think there should be some meat loaf left. You know since Glen isn't here to eat you out of house and home."

"Huh Ashley?" Spencer laughed.

"What?"

"You might want to put a bra on or a shirt," she pointed out once they were in the hallway.

"That might be good," the girls turned to see Clay covering his eyes, a blush darkening his face even more. Ashley yelped and ran back into the room, searching for her bra and shirt.

"You could have told me before we got to the hall way," Ashley angrily glared at the blond.

"I didn't realize, I'm so sorry but on the bright side..."

"I dare you?"

"At least it wasn't my mother," Spencer leaned in to kiss the girl on the cheek but instead blew yet another raspberry before running down the stairs to the kitchen.

"You better run!" Ashley yelled after her taking the stairs two at a time.

TBC.


	48. Chapter 48

Clay, Ashley and Spencer crawled out of Ashley's porche, glancing around the quad of kids waiting for the school day to begin, "I have to make up a test in science so I will see you two at lunch." Clay ran off.

The girl's made their way to an empty table, Ashley's body tensed at seeing Aiden walk with a new girl on his arm. Spencer told her about the new and disapproved boy. Her body shook with fear but also hatred at the fact that he checked her baby out without thought of consequences but a smile had to creep up her lips at the swollen nose and black eye he was sporting.

"God Spence what did you do to him?" Ashley chuckled. Spencer's head popped up at this, she was confused, she hadn't seen a 'him' around since they got there and she pretty much was falling back asleep since sitting down.

"Huh?"

"Aiden," Spencer turned her attention to where her girlfriend was pointing, "I'm guessing he's regretting teaching you some of those boxing moves now!"

Confusion etched across her perfect face, Ashley hated when the girl looked anything but happy, "What's wrong?" she asked brushing some hair behind the girl's ear as the cold wind whipped around them.

Spencer's attention was brought back to the girl by her side, "Nothing..."

"Don't nothing me Spence, not after everything we've gone thru together."

"I just don't know how I did that to him," she replied quietly.

"With your fists babe," Ashley smirked.

"No," Spencer playfully hit her arm, "I know that but...okay I've been shot twice and jumped out a window to say my body was up for a fight is like saying circus people aren't freaks."

"Weird analogy, so?"

"So...how can a hundred and nineteen pound girl with a beat up body take on a what hundred and forty pound guy who works out in a gym?"

"Good point; maybe he just had an off day. It's not like he expected you to go all Attila the Hun on him."

Spencer cocked an eye brow before busting out laughing, "Attila the Hun?"

"What, I pay attention now, he was pretty cool." Ashley pecked her girl on the lips before the bell rang.

"Another day," Spencer growled as she pulled away.

"Yep let's get you to class," Ashley stood and held her hand out, "Okay look you can go to second period alone and third if you promise to go." Ashley bargained when Spencer refused to get up.

Biting on her bottom lip she stood up, "Fine...take me away oh warden," Spencer spoke in mock shame while clasping her hands together in front of her like she had handcuffs on.

"I'll be your warden alright," Ashley slipped her hand in Spencer's back pocket of the skirt she'd chosen to wear today and squeezed.

"Hands," Spencer jumped away laughing as they made their way to the class room, "So I'll see you for lunch?"

"Yep, I'll be waiting right out side the door. And Spence?" she called out making the girl turn back around, "I'm trusting you here..." she pointed.

"I know," Spencer smiled before taking her seat.

The day went by fast and as promised Ashley let her walk to the next two classes by herself.

"Why can't schools ever serve edible food?" Chelsea whined pushing what could only be described as mash potatoes and gravy around with her plastic fork.

"Then we'd want to be here," Ashley offered as her and Spencer sat down across from Clay and Chelsea.

"Right and teachers wouldn't want that," Clay scooted close.

"Have you gone to the doctor yet Chels?" Ashley asked looking at the small bump getting larger.

"Yep and everything is fine, I'm going there in two weeks for a ultrasound. Do you want to come?" Chelsea asked quietly, sure Clay had offered and he was going but she really wanted a girl with her and Ashley had been pregnant before.

"Really, me?" Ashley's eyes widened at the fact someone besides Spencer wanted her around for more than just a few hours.

"Yeah, did you ever get that far?"

"Actually yes, I have the picture hidden in my closet." Ashley lowered her eyes. Wishing some days she did have the baby but than Spencer grabbed her hand and the thought vanished.

"I would love to see it," Clay piped up. The girl's turned to stare, "What I think it would help prepare me to see you know my kid."

"Sure...we can stop by my house before I drop you guys off that way you two can say hi to Kyla."

"How is she?"

"Doing fine Chels, you should come over to. The doctor said she possible will be in school next mouth but not sure," Ashley took a long sip of her soda before passing it over to Spencer who shook her head, "Come on Spence you need something in that belly of yours."

"Later,"

"It's always later, Spencer you told mom you'd eat today." Clay pushed his sandwich closer.

"And I will but I'm not hungry," she slid the sandwich back to her brother, "I'll be back..."

"Where are you going?"

"Well if you all must know the bathroom so I can take my medicine." Ashley handed over the soda, "Nah I want water." With that she left and bee lined it for the bathroom.

It was empty and slightly eerie as the lights flickered on and off; she turned the tap allowing the flow of water to dowse the sink, swirling in a rush to go down the drain. Digging in her pocket she brought out the bottle and popped it off shaking two pills into her hand than replacing the bottle in her pocket.

"I can't believe," Spencer was caught off guard by the sudden voice that when she turned around the pills in her hand flew into the sink and down the drain, Brenda stood a good two feet away with her hands on her hips, "You do drugs?"

Spencer panicked, "No...I don't those are, not drugs just uh I have depression."

By now Brenda stalked forward placing a finger to the girl's trembling lips, "Really depression...no one really gets it, it's just a way for people to explain the shitty things they do." She pulled her finger away and walked to then next sink over.

"But..."

"But nothing Spencer, do those help?" she nodded to the sink where the pills were long gone by now.

"Yes,"

"No they don't, the pills hide the pain inside while showing a smile to your friends. I would rather be myself and feel in control whether I'm miserable or not because it's my choice than pretend to be happy for others sake." Brenda ran her hand down Spencer's arm, "But it's your life rock star." The girl whispered in her ear before walking away.

"Wait," _why did I say that...why couldn't I keep my big mouth shut,_ too late Brenda returned with such an innocent looking face.

"What's up?" she asked as if the previous conversation never took place.

"I don't want to pretend," Spencer sadly spoke.

"Than don't take the pills,"

"That's fine at school but what about at home?"

"Does any one check under your tongue?" Spencer nodded watching the older girl closely, Brenda circled her, "Than hide the pills on top of your tongue when showing them underneath than quickly put them right..." she trailed a slender finger across Spencer's jaw up toward her ear but stopping just by the girl's molars, "here...between your jaw and teeth."

"And that works?"

"Every time," Brenda tried to stifle a giggle at how nervous the girl in front of her looked, "If that's all than I'll see you in music," The blue eyes teen smiled and walked out.

Spencer stayed put, glued to the spot still feeling where the teen traced her jaw, her feet moved faster than her brain. She threw her self out of the bath room and into the hall way, "Brenda!" she called out.

Brenda, upon hearing her name, turned around and walked back over to Spencer, "Yeah?"

"Do...uh, want to eat lunch with me and my friends?" she asked with a bit of a stutter.

"Sure rock star I'd love too." The two bounded back over the table.

"Everyone this is Brenda this is everyone," Spencer waved around the table.

"Hey everyone," she giggled.

"Uh Spence she might need to know are names?" Clay sat behind Chelsea wrapping his arms around her waist, rubbing soothing patterns on her upset stomach.

Spencer nervously laughed and hit her forehead, "Right...sorry. Brenda this is my brother Clay and his girlfriend Chelsea and over there..." Spencer stopped and ran around the table to envelope Ashley in a giant huge from behind, "Is the love of my life Ashley..." she kissed the top of the brunette's head.

Ashley beamed, Spencer had never introduced her to someone like that before. It was always this is Ashley with a light squeeze to the hand for reassurance, "Brenda as in the Brenda you slept in her car Brenda?" 

"That's me," Brenda smiled as she sat down.

"You said she wasn't hot,"

Spencer's face flushed, "What...no, I said I didn't know. It's not like I had a lot of process time yesterday."

Ashley ran her hand over Spencer's hot warm cheek, "Chill babe I'm kidding...thanks for taking care of **my girl** yesterday."

"No problem, she's pretty tough. If it wasn't for her I'd probably still be with him."

"Me too," Ashley admitted.

"Where you from?" Chelsea asked finishing off her chips.

"Seems everywhere, my dads in the military so I travel a lot." Brenda shifted on the bench just as the bell rang, "Well rock star looks like we need to get going." Brenda stood and offered Spencer her hand which she took and stood up.

"Rock star?" Ashley cocked an eye brow not liking this girl 1) helping her girl up and 2) giving her a nick name.

"Yeah, unpredictable." Brenda smiled as Spencer kissed Ashley good bye and the two walked off.

TBC.


	49. Chapter 49

Chelsea stood in front of her closet hands on her hips glaring at all the clothes beginning not to fit her as her belly filled out. Brenda had asked Spencer to go to Gray's for Friday night karaoke but the girl wasn't allowed out without supervision so Spencer pleaded and begged till Ashley decided on her 'own' free will to go and than the brunette got Clay to go who got Chelsea to go.

_It's just karaoke how hot do I have to look_, she asked her self. Groaning she found a long brown flare skirt that still hugged her in all the right places considering the extra weight in her gut along with a white spaghetti strap t shirt and flip flops she was ready to go. A quick check in the mirror she grabbed her purse and opened the door, jumping back a step.

"Sorry babe," Clay smiled dropping his fist that had been ready to pound on the door.

"I think the baby just saw my heart," Chelsea took several deep breaths before leaning out the door and kissing him, running her tongue along his bottom lip but pulling away before things got to heated.

Groaning Clay took a deep breath, "Okay well Ashley and Spencer are waiting so let's go."

The car ride was anything but silent, filled with light conversation about nothing and everything. Clay parked the car and the group filed out, following the loud music into the club. Both Clay and Ashley reached out and intertwined their hands with their girlfriends to no one would get lost as the club was slightly more crowded tonight.

"Drinks!" Ashley yelled over the music pumping thru the speakers as they found a table near the front of the stage, everyone nodded so Ashley waved Madison down. When the Latina was working her and Ashley had a sort of silent truce going on, the group ordered and Madison went to fetch the drinks.

"So when is Brenda coming?" Chelsea piped up, her back against Clay who had his arms around her possessively.

"Soon, she said she had to finish helping her dad with something," Spencer grabbed Ashley's hand, her nerves firing in all different directions. Tonight was the first night she was out, surrounded by a massive amount of people besides school, since her father died and she jumped out a window. Her lungs seemed to use more energy to work than usual and her hands sweated into the brunette's.

"You okay?" Ashley whispered in her ear feeling the minor tremble in Spencer's hand.

"A lot of people," the brunette tightened her grip on the already sweaty hand.

"You want to step out for a moment?" Spencer shook her head 'no' not wanting to ruin any ones fun just because her anxiety kicked in. At this very moment she wished she had taken the medicine instead of throwing it down the drain at least than her heart wouldn't be racing about a mile a minute and her head would be still instead of getting dizzy.

"Here you go," Madison sauntered up placing a drink in front of each person, "Hey Spencer you okay?" The Latina noticed how pale the girl looked but had a hard time determining if it was because of the light or in fact the girl had lost all color.

"I'm fine," she insisted. Taking that for an answer Madison stalked off to another table.

"Hey guys!" Brenda came walking up; all eyes scanned her since walking into the bar. Her hair loose and curly, blue eyes standing out so brilliantly against the dark eye shadow she had on. Tight fitting jeans, boots and a tank top made all the boy's heads pop with a cow girl fantasy as well as some of the girl's.

"You look great," Chelsea smiled, no she's not one of the girls in wetland.

"Thanks, so do you...where'd you get that skirt?" Brenda wondered trailing her fingers over a stitch of roses.

"I made it,"

"Get out,"

"No really,"

"You have got to make me one," Brenda grinned sitting down between Chelsea and Ashley.

"Sure," the group fell into conversation and laughed and made fun of everyone who went up and sang.

"Another round?" Clay wondered glancing at all the girl's, feeling very out of place all of a sudden.

"Can I get a beer?" Spencer asked, eyes scrunching up in hope.

"You know you can't," Ashley whispered to be heard over the music while Clay simple shook his head.

"Why not?" Brenda asked getting fed up with the way they'd babying Spencer all night.

"It's okay," Spencer yelled out although she too was getting pissed but knew it was for her own good so tried to keep a lid on it.

"No it's not you should be able to do what you want just like us," Ashley scooted closer to Brenda staring at her cold in the eyes.

"Listen here you don't know what went down or anything about us so stop questioning everything we do to keep her and the rest of us safe."

"Whatever," Brenda stood up and walked toward the bar.

"Ash?"

"What? Come on Spence she's been asking for that all night, telling us how to treat you and what not, like I don't care about you at all." Ashley pouted.

Spencer smiled leaning in, "Awww you care about me?" Ashley just nodded with the cutest sad face she could muster, "I love you too Ash." Spencer sucked her bottom lip in before kissing her deeply.

When they pulled away Ashley had the hugest grin she had no intention of wiping off, "My girlfriend," she stated to Chelsea and Clay who nodded at the absurd comment.

"Anything else?" Madison came over yet again, her voice held boredom while her foot tapped to the music.

"My girlfriend," Ashley stated again pointing to Spencer who just laughed.

"Duh and your drunk,"

"No...I'm not drunk Madison well maybe I' am just not on alcohol." She winked at the group making the Latina gag and walk off.

"Okay up next is Brenda Ronald," the announce spoke in the microphone, all heads whipped toward the stage.

"Oh hell no," Ashley growled when she heard the song Brenda picked.

"She didn't," both Chelsea and Clay gasped and even Madison went wide eyed in awe of the girl's nerve.

Spencer was the only one oblivious to the whole thing, watching Brenda sing and dance on the stage.

"Hey Hey, You You

I don't like your girlfriend,

No way, no way I think you need a new one

Hey Hey, You You

I could be you girlfriend."

Brenda made eye contact with Spencer every time she sang the chorus, letting her body flow back and forth swinging her hips to the beat.

"She's like so what ever," Brenda sang and winked at Ashley before turning her eyes back to naïve Spencer, "You can do so much better, I think we should get together, and that's what everyone's talking about."

Ashley was fuming behind Spencer, her hands clenched in and out so hard she was afraid she might draw blood. Jaw set and mind spinning, _I can't believe that whore is singing to Spencer, my Spencer and with that song what ever I shouldn't get upset Spencer is with, she loves me, did she just smile up at her oh god now Brenda's going to get...maybe I can get some of my rocker friends to kidnap her, beat her, tie her in a sack and sink her in some frozen lack somewhere_, the thoughts kept a peaceful smile on Ashley's face.

Spencer turned around, "She's really good isn't she?" Ashley only nodded afraid she'd snap and the blond really had no clue the girl was singing to her.

"So come over here and tell me what I want to here, better yet make your girlfriend disappear, I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again..."

Madison walked up, "You not going to let her get away with that are you?"

"No and you care why?"

"Don't take your hostility for her on me and...I care," Madison replied lowly. She'd been helping out with Spencer from a far, keeping a close eye on the girl when no one else had a chance and Ashley and her had this nice truce but both knew they were far from caring friends.

"I'm sorry," Madison did a double take never hearing the girl apologize to her before but Ashley only smirked and continued, "But I really don't trust that girl..." the two glanced back up at the stage.

"In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger," Brenda leaned forward a little spinning her finger in the air, "Cause I can, cause I can do it better, there's no other, so when's it gonna sink in, She's so stupid what the hell were you thinking?" Than Brenda repeated it.

Ashley shook her head in rage and stood up only to be sat back down by Clay, "I don't like the way she's looking at Spencer," his voice hushed as if sharing a secret. Chelsea agreed there was something off about the girl.

"Yeah that makes four of us, so what are we going to do cause Spence seems really into it?" Ashley motioned toward Spencer who was rocking out to the song; Avril Lavigne was her favorite singer so no one blamed her for getting caught up.

"Well we need a plan," Madison leaned in. The rocker tried to hide the smile growing at the fact that the stuck up cheer leader was trying to help her knock off some bitch who was interested in taking Spencer away from her.

"Later," Chelsea hushed as the song ended and Brenda rushed down to their table out of breath.

"That was amazing you have a nice voice," Spencer glowed.

"Thanks, Avril is one of my favs so I just had to take a shot at it," Brenda glanced around at the other faces to receive frowns and glares.

"Well you were good, wasn't she Ash?" Spencer turned to face her brushing auburn hair behind Ashley's ear with such love and care.

_How can I say no...To the bitch yes...to Spence never, guess I'll have to lie thru my ass,_ "Yeah your vocal was great." Ashley's voice dripped with jealousy that Spencer either heard or choice to ignore as she went on to talk Brenda's ear off about playing the guitar and Ashley being a musician and Raife Davies.

After a while the group decided it was time to go, "Damn I left my purse..."

"I'll grab it," both Ashley and Brenda spoke up glaring at each other.

"O-Okay," Spencer glanced between them.

The two made their way back into the club, once out of sight of the car, "You better step off!" Ashley seethed.

"Step off, I think you mean step up, your game is weak Davies..." Brenda stepped closer, "She was all over me tonight, didn't you see it. The way she was checking me out..."

A fist collided with the taller girl's face, "What the fuck?" Brenda put her hand to her nose, blood seeping thru.

"No one pulls that shirt on Ashley's girl," Madison pulled her fist back again ready to strike.

"Maddi no!" Ashley shot her hand up catching the punch before it collided, "Brenda out!" she pointed toward the door. Once the teen was out of sight she turned back to the cheer leader who had a shocked look etched into her face, "What?"

"You...y-you called me Maddi..." the girl stuttered.

"I did?" Ashley asked, thinking back a few moments ago, "I...wow I guess I did." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Why'd you stop me?" Madison questioned harshly as if the civil moment of an exchange of emotion never happened.

"Why'd you punch her?"

"Are you kidding, you would be in the dog house if you hit her, I'm open...Spencer doesn't whip me."

"Okay first off Spencer doesn't whip anything unless you count a week ago,"

"Ewwww," Madison cringed.

"Secondly thank you," Ashley lowered her voice.

"No problem," the teens glanced at each other for a moment. Silence making them stronger in their twisted relationship, "But that's the last time I stick up for a freak like you"

"Please like I want you to cheer bitch,"

"Whore,"

"Slut,"

"Lesbo,"

"Why thanks," Ashley winked and walked out of the club.

The minute she was in view of the car she could see Spencer rubbing circles on Brenda's back, whispering in her ear the hatred flared back up again but she tried to make her walk seem like nothing was going on.

"What's wrong?" she asked hoping her voice didn't show that she could care less for this hoe bag.

"What's wrong, Madison went off on her..." Spencer chocked out, "I knew the bitch didn't like us but actually physical contact come on..."

"Maybe Brenda offended her," Ashley tried to defend the Latina.

"Please like Madison ever needs a reason to be a bitch," Spencer rebuked.

"Why don't we go home, everyone's tired." Chelsea always the voice of reason. The group agreed and piled back into the car after Spencer and Clay walked Brenda to her car.

_This is so not over bitch_...both Brenda and Ashley thought while driving home.

TBC.


	50. Chapter 50

Saturday came too soon for Spencer who was dreading the date with Dr. Noble. Her heart raced in her chest at the fact that Ashley would be going and talking with the therapist which made the blond mad. Ashley most likely would tell the doctor something Spencer didn't want to talk about.

"So what is she like?" Ashley asked applying some lip gloss in the bathroom, Spencer stood in the door way arms folded over her chest watching.

"Okay,"

"That's all your giving me Spence, come on..." Ashley twirled around showing Spencer her out fit for the day earning a small laugh and a light kiss, "is she like nice or fake nice?'

"Fake nice?"

"Yeah, like she smiles and nods at you but you can totally tell she doesn't want to be there."

She thought for a moment, "She's nice,"

"Great, I hate the ones who fake nice...chills," Ashley said shivering.

"Hey girls," Clay smiled walking up stairs.

"Where you been?" Ashley wondered taking him into a huge hug.

"Around, been busy...school, Chelsea, getting ready for college. You guys look nice, heading out on a date?" he ribbed Spencer who pushed his hand away.

"Nope," Spencer stated and walked down stairs.

"Did I miss something?" he asked Ashley.

"We're going to see her shrink," Clay nodded and wished them good luck before disappearing into his room.

Downstairs Spencer stood by the door shifting from one foot to another, "Where's your mom?" 

"Outside in the car already," before Spencer got out the door Ashley grabbed her by the arm pulling her back in and close to her body, running her hands up and down the younger girl's arms, "What?"

"I have a surprise for you," the older teen kissed her jaw line, running her tongue up till it traced pink lips.

"What?" Spencer squealed revealing in the feeling of Ashley hot we tongue on her flesh.

"Not telling you," Ashley pulled her in for a deep passionate kiss. Hands running thru hair or running up and down heated flesh. The brunette pulled away to see Spencer had her eyes closed in a far away land, "Yet..."

Spencer opened her eyes to see Ashley walking out of the house, "Come on tell me!"

Ashley just laughed as her girlfriend followed behind her to the car pleading for the older girl to tell her what the surprise was. The thirty minute car ride downtown was filled with pleas and begging until Paula finally had enough and tried to tell Spencer to zip her lid but it was hard with all the laughing she was doing.

"You better not make your mom crash Spence or I'll come back and haunt you," Ashley gripped the handle as Paula wiped tears of joy from her eyes.

"Promise?" Spencer asked leaning forward and placing her lips to the girl's temple because Ashley had yet to take her eyes off the road.

"Yep," she sighed.

"I'm not that bad Ashley," Paula giggled.

"Not that bad, tell that to the two drivers you nearly ran off the road due to incessant laughing or the red light you 'supposedly' didn't run." Ashley tightened her grip.

"Well I blame you," Paula checked her mirrors but still was able to catch a glimpse of Ashley's face dropping.

"Me?" she asked some what scared of the answer.

"Yes you, if you just kept your mouth shut about a certain surprise she wouldn't be asking and I wouldn't be laughing,"

"Wait you know about it too?" Spencer sat forward so her head sat next to her mother's ear.

"I didn't say that,"

"This one is all you Paula," Ashley started laughing when Spencer began her questions all over again toward her mom.

"I'm not telling you!" Paula parked the car and turned toward her daughter saying it in the most stern voice.

"Fine," Spencer growled hoping out of the vehicle and making her way toward the elevator with the other two in tow.

TBC.

Next up appointment with Dr. Noble.


	51. Chapter 51

"Why don't you wait out here Spencer while I talk to Ashley for a second," Charlie Noble motioned for the mother and daughter to take a seat.

"Um no, why don't you talk to me than her?" Spencer suggested.

"Ashley," Charlie motioned for the brunette to enter the office, "we'll be out in a minute." She spun on her heel and entered her office closing the door.

The room grew quiet as therapist and teen stared at each other, the ticking from the clock on the wall grew louder and louder as the silence thickened like a blanket on Ashley's shoulders, "So I've been to enough of these to know you want me to start talking first, right?"

Charlie chuckled, "No of course not Ashley,"

"Really?"

"Well partially, I'm here for Spencer not you as you said you already have a therapist."

"So what am I doing here?" Ashley started to relax probably for the first time in a therapist's office.

"I just have a few questions," Charlie pulled out a pad of paper.

"Okay, fire away..."

"How are you?"

Ashley slouched in the chair, "I knew it was about me..." she grumbled.

"No, Ashley it's not. Just answer the question,"

"Fine...let's see how am I?" she asked her self the question while thinking, "Okay I guess."

"Is that how you would describe your relationship with Spencer right now?" Charlie scribbled away on her piece of paper, the one thing Ashley hated most was the yellow pad of paper she never got to see.

"Of course not,"

"So how would you describe it?"

"Great, wonderful even..." Charlie glance up from her writing, cocking and eye brow, "Not great or wonderful," Ashley sighed.

"Why not?"

"We don't talk, not like we use to before Aiden and prom,"

Charlie heard the name, scanned her pages and realized Spencer had never brought him up. She wanted to explore this a little more but had to find the right approach because she was sure Spencer had said something to Ashley about giving to much away, "Right Aiden...have you talked to him?"

"Yes, once and the jack ass tried to rape me."

"He tried to rape you,"

"Didn't Spencer tell you?"

"Must of slipped her mind so what haven't you two talked about since prom?" Charlie set the paper down and leaned forward.

Ashley smiled and shook her head in disbelieve, "She didn't tell you anything about him or prom, did she?"

"Nope but you did and I really would like to know more," Charlie smiled back. Ashley liked this woman.

Leaning back she picked at her finger nails, "A lot happened. She thought I still had feelings for my ex boyfriend slash best 'boy' friend but I didn't at least not like she thinks. He's family, a brother, at least he was."

"And what about prom?"

"Well during a slow dance he professed his love for me and as stupid as I am I stood still caught up in the moment until I found out she told him to stay away from me, a whole chase down occurred, screaming, tears, gun shots, you know typical high school dance," Ashley rolled her eyes.

"I see, well I think that's enough for now can you send Spencer in,"

"Sure thing doc," Ashley gladly got up and walked out of the room feeling like she could breath again, "You're up..." they kissed really quick before the younger girl disappeared into the office.

"So what did you guys talk about?" Paula flipped thru an old magazine trying to feign interest in the subject.

"Am I allowed to talk about it?"

"I don't know," Paula answered back finally deciding the magazine wasn't even worth pretending to read. Screaming caught their attention, both sets of eyes stared at the door where they heard Spencer yelling but the door was to thick to hear what she was saying.

The door flew open and the girl rushed out and straight to Ashley, her hand fell across the brunette's face, "I hate you..." Spencer cried falling forward into the stun brunette's embrace.

Ashley had her arms around the sobbing girl as her wide eyes teared up from the force of the slap, glancing back and forth between Paula and Charlie.

"What the hell happened?" Paula pulled Charlie off to a corner while Ashley stood still with Spencer shaking in her arms.

"I...she, has she always been like that?" Charlie asked, the moment Aiden's name was brought up the girl lost it. Her chair went flying, her legs paced back and forth, curse words tumbling out like a second skin, voice pitching to octaves Charlie didn't think possible.

"No, she was such a sweet girl. Caring and nice, compassionate..."

"Are you sure she's taking her medicine?"

"Of course Charlie, ever time I check her mouth to make sure."

"Has she done that before?"

"What, hit Ashley?"

"No the sudden violent outburst?"

"Yes and it's usually when we least expect it. Like everything is fine than bam she's going off, like the fight she got into at school with Aiden..."

"She fought him as well..." Charlie sighed wishing she had all the information before taking on this case, grabbing her temples massaging them counter clock wise, "And the fastest way to calm her down?"

"Your looking at it," Paula pointed to the two girl's who were now sitting down in the chairs. Spencer seemed to be apologizing while running her hand lightly over the cheek she had slapped as Ashley forced a tired smile her way.

"Ashley?" Paula nodded, "Do they sleep together?"

Paula did a double take, "Huh?"

Charlie refrained from laughing and repeated, "Do they sleep in the same bed together?"

"Yes,"

"As of now that has to stop, Spencer needs to learn to rely on her self more than on Ashley. And I'm going to up her dose because that is not suppose to happen," she referred to earlier.

"Is she getting better?" Paula found the courage somewhere deep inside to ask.

"I don't know Paula, one minute I'd say yes and the next..." she sighed, "she has severe depression and anxiety. Is there anything else I need to know, tension, stress, major changes besides moving up here?"

"She recently found out she's...um...into girls," Paula choked it was going to be a while for her to get used to saying it.

"So she's moved to a city that greatly differs from her old home, found out she's gay, fallen in love, shot and in a coma and lost her father in little over a year?" Paula nodded, "No wonder she's messed up. Well I'll have to see her again, make it Tuesday the sooner the better."

"Um can we make it Thursday?"

"Why?"

"Well we have a surprise for her but, do you think we should do it still with what happened here?"

"Yes," there was no hesitation, "I told you Paula approval and love and patients is what she needs...and sometimes a swift kick in the butt. I'll see you on Thursday than." The two hugged and Paula collected the girls and headed home.

Spencer was told to go upstairs and lay down for a while, "I don't think I can do it..."

"Ashley she didn't mean to do it..."

"Stop it, okay...she never means to do it but...God she smacked me and for what, mentioning that bastards name, how was I suppose to know she didn't tell the doc about him."

"I get it, your hurt and upset and if you need a break, take it."

"You don't get it...wait, what...what break?" the teen felt fear rise up in her gut. She had to stay with the blond, protect her like she should have done on prom night, save her from everyone including her self.

"Charlie is putting a stop to you two sleeping in the same bed together and maybe it'll be a good idea if you take off for a while. Go home be with your sister, make Spencer realize how much she needs you." Paula insisted.

"Is this because you don't want me around?"

"Ashley listen, I like you now...it doesn't matter why but I do. Your seventeen years old, you shouldn't have to deal with this."

"Spencer's seventeen too, she shouldn't have to go thru this..." Ashley began to cry, she was trying so hard to hold back the tears, "Every night she has a night mare, every night Paula...her body shaking cold underneath me. I can't make them go away, no matter how hard I try I can't. She screams for me, did you know that...her voice sounding just like it did just before the shots went off, my name not yours or any one else's mine. I..." Ashley collapsed into the older woman's arms, "I want to help her...I need to, I'm sorry I didn't protect her..."

"Shhh, Ashley you did everything you could." Paula assured the young teen.

"Why can't I take the night mares from her?"

The two stared in the kitchen for all most an hour, holding one another and talking things thru.

"So after the surprise you'll go away for a couple days," Paula stated the game plan.

"Right," Ashley agreed, "But when do we tell her?"

"When we get back, now go up there and work that so called Davies magic I've heard about and get her ready the plane leaves in two hours and remember..." Paula pointed at Ashley who was walking backwards.

"Don't tell her, I got it..." she winked before rushing upstairs.

TBC.


	52. Chapter 52

Ashley traipsed down the stairs an hour later to see Paula and Clay sitting on the couch playing video games. The brunette smiled, the thought of Paula being a cool video game playing mother still seemed weird.

"So she coming down we have to get going?" Clay paused the game as the two turned to look at her; she walked to the chair and plopped down.

"She doesn't want to go," Ashley sighed. The two had argued for the full hour, Ashley still had no clue as to what they were fighting about because Spencer changed gears so fast and often Ashley was struggling to keep her thoughts in order. She wondered briefly if that was how Spencer felt, like she was drowning in to many words and ideas and thoughts to keep her self afloat.

"What happen to the Davies charm?" Paula repositioned her self so she faced the brunette who shrugged.

"Well she's going and that's final,"

"Clay..."

"No Ashley you put a lot of thought into it and she's going one way or another," he nodded putting on his you-can't-win-against- me face.

"He's right; she's going but tomorrow, let's let her cool off tonight. It's a private plane so we can reschedule right?"

"Sure Mrs. C," Ashley agreed happy at least these two wanted to go. She knew Spencer would love the surprise; everything went into the plan for her.

Spencer sat up stairs staring out the bared window up to the stars, she use to love them. The twinkle of light guiding lost souls home, making the world below seem insignificant and small but now they just reminded her of nothing. Pulling her eyes away from the window she sat at her desk staring at the medicine bottles she swiped from her mother's purse.

_Everything was fine with me and Ash when I took them, she was happy and I 'seemed' happy, why did I stop taking them? Because I' am fake when I take them, it's not really me and if Ashley can only love the medicated version of me than I need to let her go. But damn I don't want to, she's everything...beautiful, loving, caring , thoughtful, sexy, hot, wonderfully naughty at the right times, innocent when no one is around but me, god why can't I make these hateful thoughts stop, so she told Dr. Noble about Aiden that's no big deal...right?_

Spencer slammed her head down on the desk, telling her self it was no big deal yet inside her mind, that never shut down unless Ashley is holding her, it was and she wasn't sure why.

Her phone went off and she quickly hid the medicine in her pocket before grabbing and flipping open her cell, "Hello?"

"Hey rock star,"

"What's up Brenda?" Spencer smiled and sat down in the closet where no one could see her.

"Not much you?"

"Same," an uncomfortable silence took over._ Ashley and I never have this kind of silence on the phone, man I love listening to her breath or her heart beat it's the most relaxing thing in the world._

"Spence...Spencer, YO ROCK STAR!"

"What?" Spencer shook her head trying to clear it.

"You out of it or something?" Brenda chuckled into the phone.

"Or something,"

"Ok look the reason I called is there's a party going on, it's tight, so get off your ass and get over here."

"I can't..."

"Bullshit," Brenda cut her off, "No excuses. Get that girl of yours to bring you or Chelsea or any one since your mommy doesn't want you out by your self."

"It's not like that,"

"Right rock star what ever you say, now get off your ass and go ask your mommy to go out," Brenda's voice yelled above the music beating in the back ground that had been turned up as the party seemed to be getting good.

"Okay," Spencer stood up and walked down stairs to see her mom, Ashley and Clay playing video games and laughing. They played a racing game and Paula was right behind Clay so Ashley jumped in tackling Clay trying to get the controller while urging Paula to go fast and beat him. The group was laughing and having a good time, Spencer felt the medicine in her pocket and sudden got angry at the fact that her family would rather her take pills than be her regular self. Quietly she slipped out the front door with out no one noticing.

"Ya there rock star," Brenda called out for like the millionth time.

"Pick me up," Spencer pleaded walking down the side walk.

"Where you at?"

"I'll be at Stasion Park,"

"Be there in second..." Spencer hung up her phone. Once at the park she waited no more than ten minutes before the older girl pulled up.

"You're late,"

"How so?" Brenda wondered.

"You said you'd be here in a second, it was ten minutes..." the blond showed her watch as if that would prove something.

"Love ya too rock star now let's go party," Brenda sped off. The tires of the car squealing and burning rubber on the asphalt.

The party was just as big as Brenda said it was; kids littered the dancing floor as the drunken students crashed into each other or made out. The room felt like it was suffocating to Spencer who wished Ashley would show up any second and lace their fingers together.

"I'll be right back," Spencer yelled over the music and made her way into the bathroom. Taking deep breaths she pulled the medicine bottles out of her pocket, setting them on the counter and just staring. She wanted to take them, make all the anxiety and bad thoughts disappear even if it was for the night but she also knew she'd probably be drinking and it wasn't a bright idea to mix and match.

"Here," Brenda was waiting outside the bathroom door with a cup of beer already to go, she thrust it into the blonde's hand who downed it in one quick motion, "I see we'll be making several stops to the keg tonight," she laughed while linking arms with Spencer and leading her toward the back yard where hardly any one was.

Outside the cool air swept over them, cooling their hot skin from the fire burning inside the house with so many people jammed together. They sat down on the swings, Spencer felt slightly disoriented and sick to her stomach, and Brenda sat there not saying anything obviously enjoying the silence that seemed deafening to Spencer.

Just before her mind wrapped around a sentence Brenda leaned forward so their hot breaths mixed together, "You look beautiful tonight..."

"I...uh?" Spencer glanced down, she still wore her jeans and t shirt nothing fancy, she even had no make up on, "I think your drunk," the blond giggled pointing at the taller girl.

"I think you're not drunk enough," Brenda handed Spencer her drink that had yet to be touched, the girl downed this one too like it was no big deal, "Wanna dance?"

"No..."

"Okay," Brenda nodded while standing up. She reached down and hauled the younger girl up, sliding her hands to rest on Spencer's hips. Brenda moved them to the far away beat of the music in the house.

"I...Ashley...me..."

"How can you tell me you're not shy," Brenda giggled, "It's called full sentences Spencer...You and Ashley are together, I'm not hitting on you." The girl assured her.

"But we're dancing?"

"Yes we are," Brenda smiled at how Spencer had a hard time forming coherent thought around her.

"Listen I know..." a male voice broke the moment, they both turned to see Aiden on the phone, "I want to be with you two...so dump her Ash...don't give me that guilt trip...let her mom take care of her...Ashley please just come to the party, so what if Spencer is up stairs moping..."

Spencer's eyes widen and her heart fell a thousand feet to the ground, her hands shook with fear and her stomach was worse than before. He turned around and stared at her, a sick smile plastered to his face, before he opened his mouth she was gone, running off into the party.

Aiden's smile faded, the devastation on Spencer' face was way more than he bargained for, Brenda had manipulated him into thinking the blond had no feelings for Ashley and was just stringing her along, but the sadness on her face told him that he was wrong Spencer loved Ashley more than anything. He flipped the phone shut and tried to run after her but Brenda got in his way, "Where are you going?"

"I have to tell her the truth," he tried to step aside but she wouldn't let him pass.

"The truth?"

"Yeah that Ashley wasn't on the phone, I made it up..." he choked. This girl was scary when she was pissed.

"I don't think so, remember the plan," Brenda tapped him in the chest before turning and rushing into the party, she found Spencer still trying to make her way through the crowd, "Come on!" Brenda shouted and yanked the confused girl out to her car and driving off with out any protesting from Spencer.

Aiden ran as fast as he could but the car was faster than he was, he had to make this right, he flipped open his phone and speed dialed, "Ashley...I know you...she's got Spencer..." he waited while Ashley denied it and went up stairs to check, "Calm down...no I didn't...look...yes I know...fine I'll be there...in a minute," he finished saying to the dial tone. Quickly he hopped into his car and drove to the Carlin's home.

TBC.


	53. Chapter 53

Spencer sat in Brenda's car staring out of the window, her face void of all emotion. Brenda pulled over and shut the car off, before she could say anything the blond hopped out and walked to the edge of the cliff and screamed as loud as she could. Letting all her pent-up emotions fly into the night air, her lungs burning from lack of oxygen so she ceased her yelling to allow the air to return to her body which seemed to slouch with no energy left.

"Feel better?" Brenda wondered stepping beside the girl but the blond said nothing, "You know I probably shouldn't tell you this..." the black haired girl trailed off.

"What?" Spencer asked finally dragging her tired eyes to the older girl, silently begging her to continue.

"Well and don't quote me on this cause I heard it in the bathroom but...I heard Ashley talking to someone, she said something about wishing you died at prom so she didn't have to pity date you."

Tears traced deep patterns in her pale complexion, "She...s-she said that?"

"Like I said don't quote me," Brenda nervously took a step back as Spencer stared out into the abyss of the night. They stood on the dirty cliff that over looked LA, it was high and dark, the drop at least a hundred feet down drifting into a sea of blackness.

Aiden pulled into the Carlin drive way only to be met with Clay and Ashley standing out side, gulping he opened the door only to have Clay slam it back on him, trapping him inside his truck. Ashley ran around and hopped in.

"You semi psychotic bastard if anything happens to her and I mean one piece of hair harmed you'll wish you were never born," Clay growled grabbing Aiden's shirt and yanking him so his head was out the window and inches from the other teen, "Got it?"

"Yeah man," Aiden's lip trembled as Clay released him.

"I'm going to drive around here and near the party," Ashley nodded at Clay before yelling at Aiden to put the car in gear and drive.

"I'm..."

"Don't even try that sorry shit on me,"

"I have to tell you something,"

"I don't want to hear..."

Aiden cut her off, "It's about Spencer!" she went quiet he took that as his cue to keep talking, "I don't know how but Brenda convinced her not to take her medicine."

"What the hell? So that's why she's been acting up, damn it Aiden she's suicidal..."

"Spencer...suicidal?" He asked never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd hear those two words used in the same sentence.

"Yeah and if you were ever a good friend you'd know that," Ashley went quiet again all her thoughts drifting to what her girlfriend could possible be doing right now, "So what happened to make her run off?"

Aiden scratched his head unsure if he should tell her or not but decided he'd done enough lying and hateful things in one life time, "This is hard to explain...Brenda is very good at twisting things around, she made me believe that Spencer was stringing you along and didn't care for you...BUT," he continued seeing Ashley about to protest, "the look on her face tonight told me she was wrong."

"What went down?" Ashley asked trying to keep her cool and not kill the boy who was supposedly taking her to see Spencer.

"She got Spencer to go into the back yard at the party where I was...um, see this is the funny part..." he chuckled nervously, "I pretended to be on the phone with you and made it seem like you were cheating on her."

"AIDEN!" Ashley screamed grabbing her head in frustration; he all most crashed due to the loud echo sound in his car and the high pitch of Ashley's voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, and sorry, it's all I can say."

"And it'll never be enough," Ashley growled at him watching the light in his eyes die away for the final time and the car became silent yet again.

"You know if you jump no one will blame you," Spencer's head shot toward the girl on her right away from the expanse she'd been staring at for the last ten minutes.

"Huh?"

"No, I'm just saying...if I were to do it, never mind," Brenda waved off before leaning on the hood of her car.

"You want me to jump?"

"Me...No, do you want to jump?" the blond shifted her gaze back to the edge of the cliff, "I'm just saying that with everything you've told me...well it sounds like it would make things easier."

"I don't know," Brenda stepped behind the girl, resting her mouth near Spencer's ear.

"Do it rock star, it'll take all your pain away..." Spencer's eyes glazed over, her mind telling her to move away but her body refusing to follow the command. She was in a trance, the LA lights below shinning like a million different stars, if she did jump it would be like floating in space, "No more feeling guilty..." Brenda ran her hands up and down Spencer's arms feeling the goose bumps rising on pale skin, "No more arguing just plain and simple peace,"

Brenda took a step toward the edge causing Spencer to take a step forward, her mind shutting down in confusion. She didn't know how to respond or act but she knew she didn't like where this was heading, "no..." the word was no more than a whisper.

"I know you want to," Brenda told her seductively drawing circles on her stomach while taking yet another step forward.

"GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH!" Brenda turned around quickly to see Ashley and Aiden jumping out of his truck.

"Ashley?" Spencer choked out her eyes scrunched up in concentration, her stomach burning as if on fire, her mouth was dry and her hands were shaking.

"Come here baby," Ashley calmly waved her hand toward her and Aiden and away from the cliff.

"Baby...You're fucking cheating on me and you have the nerve to call me baby" Spencer seethed, she was trying to spit the fire from her belly out because it was starting to hurt.

"I'm not...Spencer listen okay your not thinking clearly right now,"

"No Ashley I think I' am, for once in my life I'm thinking perfectly fine..." Spencer stepped back.

"SPENCER...don't please just come away," Ashley pleaded.

"Listen to her Spencer," Aiden joined in on the plea to rescue the blond, "I made it all up okay...Brenda tricked me and I'm not saying that's an excuse but you can't trust her."

"Right, I can't trust the one person who hasn't lied to me...but I can trust you right Aiden?"

"Get away from her," Ashley gritted her teeth as she stepped forward her eyes glaring at Brenda than pleading helpless with Spencer than back to glaring at Brenda.

"What's wrong Ashley, feeling a little lonely?" Brenda smirked, arms folding across her chest.

"What is your deal, seriously what did I ever do to you?"

"Why do you assume it's about you?" Spencer spoke up but she was no longer looking at the three teens, her body and eyes face the cliff, searching for answers she was some what afraid to know.

"Spencer I..."

"No she's right," Brenda cut her off, "Why do you always assume it's about you?"

"I don't, look whore back off and let me talk with my girl,"

"Your girl, my, my Ash don't you have a tendency to label things," Brenda chuckled, running her hand thru her dark hair.

"Seriously bitch what is your deal?" Aiden spoke up split between wanting to push the girl off the cliff and kiss her which freaked him out.

"Still under my thrall," she taunted him seeing the lust filled look for a second.

"You know what..." Ashley stalked toward them only to stop when Brenda wrapped her arm around Spencer's waist pulling the girl tight into her and walking even closer to the edge.

"Naughty naughty don't want her to go over now do you..." she shook Spencer who seemed so out of it.

The blond tried to swallow, tried moving but nothing was working, sleep is what she wanted and her eyes began to get heavy, "Ash?"

"It's okay baby hold on," Ashley forced a smile for her girlfriend, the brunette could see the painful look on the younger girl's face, "Tell me what you want...I'll give you anything but please just let her go."

"You still don't know, I thought you were smarter Ash, guess I got the brains uh little sis,"

"What?" Aiden and Ashley asked at the same time.

"Don't tell me you thought Kyla was the only other child our pimp of a father had." Brenda chuckled.

"Is that what this is about?" Ashley asked.

"God no, I could care less who my fucking father was...no this is called revenge."

"For what, I didn't know you existed how could I have done anything to you."

"Again Ashley with the thinking this is about you again," this confused everyone there, "My mother loved Raife and all he did was use her time and time again and when she thought she had him out of her system years later he shows up professing his love for her only a week later did she find him fucking some no name groupie in their bed. She brought me up here told me all about him than jumped off...you ever see someone you care about kill themselves Ashley, no you haven't, at least not yet."

"She heard all that, she's not going to jump on her own," Aiden rolled his eyes, the bad guys all ways give up the plot so soon.

"Spencer you heard them, telling each other how much they love each other," Brenda whispered in the whimpering girl's ear making sure her hold never loosened.

"Don't listen to her Spencer, I love you no one else." Ashley tried to make her mouth work, say something that would bring the love of her life reeling into reality and into her arms.

"There she goes again saying she loves you when who is by her side, who brought her up here?" Spencer's tired eyes moved slowly and cautiously toward Aiden who shifted back and forth, "That's right Aiden remember she only stays with you because you were shot."

"How dare you bring him here to me, if you wanted to leave that's all you had to do instead of parading around as if you cared for me," Spencer yelled the dark sky clouding just like Spencer's eyes, the rain started trickling down just like Spencer's tears and at this moment Ashley was sure her girlfriend was controlling the weather, "You want me dead than fine I love you enough to give you what you want..."

Spencer turned toward the edge, Brenda smiling widely as her plan unfolded, "NO SPENCER PLEASE...GOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME," Ashley screamed into the increasing wind hoping the pain in her voice reached Spencer's ears and God's at the same time, "Please I love you don't..."

The blond stared at Ashley who was kneeling on the ground crying, as the rain turned her clothes into a second skin, "You do?" it was the first time in a long time that Spencer believed Ashley 100.

"Yes, god yes I do...I do love you Spencer with all my heart," Ashley smiled standing up so glad that the girl and taken at least two steps away from the long distance fall.

"NO..." Brenda cried as lightning flashed, she yanked Spencer back and the two girls began fighting. Their bodies hitting the ground hard as mud caked them, Brenda desperately trying to get the younger girl over the cliff while Spencer fought to stay away.

Time seemed to slow down for the group but the moment Spencer and Brenda's roll match headed for the cliff things sped up again. Aiden acted slightly faster than the shell shocked Ashley. He rushed forward arms flailing to grab a hold of the teens on the ground but it was too late the two tumbled over the edge.

He latched on to Spencer's wrist while his other hand searched for something to grab since he was no over the edge as well, Brenda's screaming voice bounced thru the thundering sky as she fell about a hundred feet to the ground. In slow motion again his hand found something strong and sturdy to hold, glancing up he saw Ashley leaning over the cliff. She lay flat with her chest digging into the ground and her arms, shoulders, and head hung off. Aiden pulled Spencer up and she grabbed onto Ashley's other hand, he wondered for a split second how the girl wasn't sliding off, unbeknownst to him Ashley's feet were wrapped around a branch stuck in the ground.

TBC.


	54. Chapter 54

The rain fell down hard while lightning and thunder rolled over the dark and stormy sky, Ashley's legs began to give out. She had her lover on one hand and her best friend on the other, even if he was an asshole, but her arms wouldn't allow her to pull them up.

"I can't...hold you," she called down as her arms felt like they were being pulled from the sockets.

Both Spencer and Aiden were desperately searching with their feet for a food hold, something so they could lift themselves to safety, all three wishing to God someone would come by but that was a zero chance as they were on a deserted cliff far away from civilization.

"Ashley let go," Ashley's eyes widen in fear at Spencer's calm statement.

"What?"

"You can't pull us both up so let go,"

"Spencer I...I can't," Ashley could hardly see with the rain and wind whipping around, Aiden and the brunette didn't like the calm cool voice coming from a blond teen girl hanging from a cliff.

Ashley knew she had a choice, she didn't like either one. On one hand she dropped Aiden her best friend and brother even though he messed up big time and she probably will never forgive him but she didn't have the heart to kill him. The second hand held the love of her life, the girl to make every day bright with a small smile and a tilt of her head; she had no intention of dropping her at all.

Again she was faced with a decision and she was going to lose some one she cared about, at prom she only stood to lose them in the emotional sense but now, one of them would no longer exist in the physical world.

"Ashley," she turned her head to Aiden staring him straight in the eyes, conveying all the emotion built up inside. Her eyes went wide as her other hand went slack, she whipped her head where Spencer was but the girl was no longer on her arm, no longer dangling some what safely from her hand which was now empty like her heart...

**The brunette took her hands off the keyboard as a small tear fell down her cheek, all the emotions of that day bombarding her inner soul, "Ashley?"**

**Ashley glanced up to her wife who was standing in the door way hunched over a bit, "Yeah?"  
**

"**It's time," Ashley looked confused, "The baby!"**

**Ashley sprang up from the computer she'd been writing on for hours today, her feet rushing and tripping over each other trying to grab everything they needed for the trip to the hospital.**

"**Come on," the brunette yanked her pregnant wife thru the house out the door and into her car. She put it in gear and rushed out of the drive way.**

"**Slow down," her wife screamed holding on to the handle above her door, "If this baby has brain damage I'm going to kill you Ashley!"**

**Ashley took a chance to look over at her wife, the woman seemed paler than usually, "Honey what's wrong?" she asked reaching over and brushing hair behind the woman's ear.**

"I'm..." Ashley followed her wife's eyes to the seat, a pool of blood flowed from beneath her.

"**OH God, hold on baby," Ashley pressed the gas pedal going at least a hundred miles per hour down a forty five mile an hour zone. Lights popped up in the review mirror as a cop car turned on the sirens, **_**great!**_** She thought rounding a corner with out letting up on the gas, "We're all most there!"**

"**I...Ashley," the woman seemed to be fading. Finally the hospital was in sight, she sped the rest of the way there, stomping on the brake, tires screeching, and the smell of rubber coating the outside world. **

**Ashley jumped from the vehicle heading inside just as the cop car pulled in behind her, a stout thirty year old man hopped out going straight for her, "Ma'am hold it right there."**

**She didn't listen though her head no where near comprehending as she went inside, "HELP...MY WIFE...BABY...BLOOD," her screaming took them by surprise and her she worried that her non coherent speech confused them but it hadn't as several nurses and doctors ran outside to the car hauling the young woman out and laying her on a stretcher.**

**The police officer watched while Ashley headed toward her wife, they locked eyes for a brief second, he nodded and she returned the favor before he gave a stern warning to never do it again with a flick of his wrist. She smiled at him as a thank you instead of using words to prolong their silent conversation, he mouthed a 'good luck' before heading back out to patrol.**

"**Mrs..."**

"**Davies," Ashley offered the nurse holding a clip board in her hand, "Fill out?"**

"**Please," the nurse handed it over, Ashley could see the overwhelmed smile on the girl's face.**

"**First day?" **

**  
"How'd you know?" the nurse quickly glanced around unsure if she was suppose to be talking or doing something else.**

"**Just a guess, can I um go see her?"**

"**I'm sorry Mrs. Davies but your wife is being prepped for a C-section,"**

"What's wrong, is the baby okay?" her voice wavered as her hands shook with the pen as she tried to remember all the information it asked for.

"**I don't know ma'am as soon as I do you'll be the first to know," the nurse smiled and took the clip board back and left leaving Ashley to fidget in the waiting room scared out of her mind.**

**TBC. **


	55. Chapter 55

_**A/N- okay this is the end of the story I hope I did a good job and you like it, there will be a sequel so watch out for it, comment and reviews are welcomed and thank you for reading.**_

**Ashley sat on the hard waiting room chair, the hospital was the only place the brunette tried to avoid. Ever since Spencer was shot and Ashley waited for a month in a half by her bedside, the hospital got a new meaning. Her leg bounced up and down nervously as her gaze shifted between the clock on the wall and the nurse's station.**

**The room was filled with sick people and their families, she felt suffocated but feared to step foot outside and miss the nurse or doctor. Her knuckles gripped the seat while her head rolled back onto the wall and her eyes slipped shut...**

"Ashley?"

"Yeah Aiden?" Fifteen year old Ashley sat on the wooden swing behind her house, her boyfriend Aiden lying on the grass pulling it out and tossing it aside for no reason.

"If we break up..."

"Never going to happen," she kicked the bottom of his Nikes.

"I know that," he wrapped his hand around her wrist yanking her off the swing and onto him, she laid half on and half off, her head on his chest, "But if we do..." she snorted, "Pretend Ash!"

"Okay, I'm pretending," she sarcastically replied.

"So if we break up and it's bad as in I hate you or you hate me or what ever can you promise me something?" He asked cautiously while running his hand thru her auburn hair.

"What?"

"Name your kid after me,"

"Aid?" she leaned up on her elbow so she could see his eyes.

"No listen Ash," he propped himself up on both his elbows, "Name it after me so no matter what I'll be apart of you."

"Fine but that goes for you too," she pointed with mock seriousness.

"Okay," he laughed before falling back so he was lying down again.

Ashley went to follow suit when a thought occurred, "Wait?"

"Did you change your mind already?" he sighed; he knew the Davies mind worked beyond human knowledge and that she could or would change her mind in seconds.

"No, but what if I have a girl and you have a boy, I'm not naming my little girl Aiden."

"Yeah okay let's see, well I can call my son Ash, it works for the kid on Pokemon..."

"Please tell me you don't still watch that?" Ashley glared.

"Oh don't front you know you do too,"

"NO...I don't," he chuckled at her knowing full well that she loved watching cartoons, he caught her a few days ago watching the very same cartoon she was now denying to have seen.

"What ever,"

"So my girl?" she wondered setting her head back down on his chest, her hand running back and forth on his stomach above his shirt. A breeze played in the branches which moved flawlessly allowing bits and pieces of sun light to drift on to their bodies.

"I got it," he piped up after a few minutes of silence, "Aiden Jr."

"I told you Aiden I'm not naming her Aiden," she shook her head, some times dumb jock really did apply to him.

"No check it out Ash, you can name her Aiden Jr. but on the birth certificate just call her A.J. and only you and the guy your with, if you tell him, will know what it means."

He watched her for a minute; her brown eyes scrunched a bit as she played with the idea in her head. Aiden loved everything about his girlfriend from the way the sun hit her hair and made her eyes sparkle to the crazy ideas that popped out of her head, "I love it..." she smiled down at him, "but..." she leaned down so close their lips touched as she spoke her next words, "We'll never break up..."

"Good," he closed the distance and their lips met in a passionate kiss.

"**Mrs. Davies," Ashley shook the memory away as she lifted her head up to stay at the same shy nurse from before, she glanced at the clock for a second, she'd been out of it for a few hours.**

"**Are they alright?" she asked pretty much launching her self out of the chair, regretting it instantly as a bolt of pain shot thru her lower back.**

"**Calm down, would you like to see them?" the nurse smiled as Ashley nodded vigorously. **

"**So why was there blood?" Ashley's body didn't want to stay still, she was bobbing up and down, her hands shaking in her pockets as she tried to appear cool and calm.**

"**During one of the contractions the umbilical cord wrapped around the babies neck and there was a slight tear," she said as they came upon a door that read OR, "Go on it..." than she left.**

**Taking a deep breath Ashley pushed the swinging doors open, a sheet was placed between her wife's head and her belly. The doctor was just now finishing stitching her up; the lighting seemed too bright for an operating room. Sounds of machines buzzing and beeping made the place seem alive, in the back ground Ashley heard her baby crying causing her to release the breath she had no clue she'd been holding. She walked around the curtain so she could see her wife, the woman's eyes dropped every few seconds, and sweat glistened on her forehead from the heat of the lap above her head.**

"**Hey baby how you doing?" Ashley asked running her hand over her wife's cheek, brushing hair out of her face.**

"**Ask me tomorrow," she chuckled tiredly.**

**  
"Here you go," the doctor grinned as he handed the baby over to Ashley, "Meet your new baby girl."**

**Ashley held the tiny infant in her arms, it squirmed for a minute before settling down and closing its little eyes, Ashley leaned over slightly to show her wife who had to lay still on the table so she didn't upset the stitches, "Look at what you did..."**

"**What we did," **

"**So you two figure a name out yet?" the doctor inquired wiping his hands off on a near by towel.**

**Ashley tilted her head toward her wife who stared right back, "What do you think Spence?"**

"**Go for it sweetie,"**

**The brunette turned her attention back on the doctor before proudly announcing, "A.J. Davies,"**

"**Very well," he nodded writing it down on the bracelet than wrapping it around the tiny wrist of the new baby, "Does it stand for anything?"**

**The two girls locked eyes, "Nope..." they said in unison.**

"**Okay, well Mrs. Davies I know you want to visit longer but they both need their rest." The doctor started pushing Ashley out the door as she waved good bye to both her girl's.**

**The drive home was uneventful as the drive to the hospital but she welcomed the blissful silence of just the wind and the radio. Pulling into her two story house she shut the vehicle off and crawled out, she had so much to do, she had to call the family and have the baby furniture shipped. Her tired fingers fumbled with the keys as she desperately tried to unlock the front door, finally it swung open and she sauntered in. **

"**Coffee," she slurred to the empty house as she walked toward the kitchen. Her feet stopped right out side her study, the computer was still on as she forgot to turn it off while rushing to get to the hospital. Ashley leaned in the door way watching the curser blink on and off after the last word she wrote in her unfinished sentence, sighing she walked further in and sat in her desk chair. **

**The dead line was tomorrow but she wasn't sure if her mind would let her finish, she'd already started to cry while writing it earlier before her wife interrupted and now she knew she'd cry for sure if she sat down to finish writing but she had to, cracking her knuckles she placed her hands on the keyboard once more...**

"Ashley?" she turned her head to Aiden staring him straight in the eyes, conveying all the emotion built up inside. Her eyes went wide as her other hand went slack, she whipped her head where Spencer was but the girl was no longer on her arm, no longer dangling some what safely from her hand which was now empty like her heart...

"Aiden grab my hand," Ashley felt nauseous as the sweet voice of Spencer filtered into her thoughts, two hands reached into her eye sight, reaching for the boy still grasping onto the brunette's hand. Unknown to the older girl that when Aiden called her name and saw the emotion inside her he had used his free hand to grab the back of Spencer's pants, clutching her belt and with the last of his strength physical and mental hauled the blond up toward the ledge where she had found a foot hold and crawled to safety. Aiden knowing that he would never have had that courage or strength to get her up there if it wasn't for Ashley.

Spencer tried to get a firm grip but the rain was making it near damn impossible, "Spencer?" Aiden called out, she locked eyes with him, "I'm sorry..." he yelled over the thunder letting those two words convey what he could not at this time.

Aiden than glanced at Ashley and held her gaze, his voice broke, "I'm sorry..." he repeated but some how it seemed like those two words meant some thing different for her, both girls got what they needed from them.

Ashley took a deep shaky breath as she uttered the last two words she'd ever say to him, "It's enough!"

He grinned as his hand slipped out of her grip and he fell but not one sound escaped his mouth as he stared up at the girl's keeping his back to the ground and Ashley and Spencer watched until he disappeared into the darkness below.

Stillness washed over the two teens who stared into the pit of darkness, "Ash?"

Ashley slowly turned her head, Spencer was doubled over holding her stomach and pale as a ghost, quickly the brunette forgot everything else as she enveloped her girlfriend, "Shhh...I've got you baby," she whispered over and over again in the crying teen's ear.

Those four words would be used a lot over the years; they seemed to calm Spencer the quickest. Ashley had some how managed to get her girlfriend in the car and to the hospital, turns out Brenda dowsed the drink she gave Spencer with a hallucinogen so she was more susceptible to coercion but the bitch put to much in which gave Spencer an over dose.

A lot happened the beginning of senior year, changing the Carlin's and Davies' forever, yet some how bringing them closer together, stitching together a new family who would do anything for each other.

**Ashley put a period at the end of the paragraph, moving the mouse to file and saving the document under 'Dark Days', as that is what the family referred to as the past or never brought it up. Leaning back in her chair she wiped the tears that had fallen on to her vest, taking deep breaths in and out trying to calm her rattled nerves.**

**Her mind still spinning with memories but the one that stuck out was the one that made sure Aiden's death wasn't in vain...**

Spencer stared out the plane window while her family chatted and laughed, no one would tell her where they were going. Ashley had asked her yesterday if she remembered back in high school how she had a surprise for her but Spencer declined to go and that night Aiden fell, the blond had nodded indicated she did remember so Ashley went on to ask if she wanted the surprise now, Spencer giggled at the thought of receiving a surprise years later but nodded her approval.

And now her and her family were in a private jet heading to some unknown destination or at least unknown to Spencer.

"Having fun?" Kyla asked plopping down in the seat next to her.

"Fun, I feel like I'm being kidnapped, everyone knows but me..." she laughed.

"Suspense, you know Ash lives off that,"

"She lives off a lot, so why is Todd not here?" Spencer inquired about the younger girl's hot boyfriend of two years.

"This is only for family and he ain't part of it yet," Kyla swept her hair behind her ear feeling embarrassed about letting that slip, "Not like him and I are going to...you know..."

"Ky I get it, when you're ready your ready," Spencer patted her shoulder.

"Thanks,"

"Buckle your seats were about to land," the pilot came on.

Ashley came over, "Huh Ky your in my seat," she pointed to the one next to Spencer who giggled as Kyla made an over exaggerated noise getting up and moving allowing Ashley to flop down beside her, "You okay?" the brunette wondered because the blond had a fear of planes but mostly when they bounced or shook.

"Yeah just can't wait to have my feet on the ground again," she put her hand in auburn hair moving her girlfriend's head closer so their lips brushed against each other, the passion building as air left there lungs and time seemed to slow down.

"Whoa lover girl's back down," Glen coughed standing over them.

"The planes down?" Spencer asked confused.

"Yeah Spence planes down," Chelsea chuckled.

The family piled out, first Glen and his wife Madison than Chelsea, Clay and their son Nathan than Paula, last but not least Ashley and Spencer, "Wait...put this on." Ashley handed Spencer a blind fold.

"Ash no come on," Spencer whined.

"Pwease," Ashley pouted and gave the lost puppy look knowing full well her girl couldn't resist.

"Fine, I hate you..." she said taking the blind fold and tying it around her head.

"I love you too babe," Ashley giggled while pecking Spencer on the lips and leading her out of the plane and into a car.

The ride was filled with talking and laughing mostly at Spencer who was having a heated argument with Glen while wearing the blind fold, her hands were flying in every direction as she yelled at him and he yelled back but it was light hearted.

"We're here," the driver spoke thru the intercom.

"Thanks," Paula stated as the group piled out of the car where they walked for about five minutes before coming to a halt.

"Okay take it off," Ashley said you could hear the smile in her voice. Spencer took it off but still hardly saw anything in the dark; the sound of rushing water was loud and deafening while a light mist swirled around them.

"Where are we?" she asked turning back around to stare at Ashley who was down on one knee, Spencer glanced over to her mom who had a video camera pointed at them, Madison was leaning in Glen's arms both grinning like no tomorrow, Clay and Chelsea standing side by side holding hands while Clay held Nathan in his free arm, Kyla leaning against a tree trunk with tears in her eyes, "Ashley?"

Just as the word left her mouth a loud pop resounded over head, still not being used to loud noises after prom Spencer spun around her heart racing a mile per second, a firework lit up the sky in the shape of a happy face the sparks falling down ward illuminating the wonderful sight of Niagara Falls, another fire work, another loud pop, another chance to see the rushing water, she turned back to Ashley who was still on her knee.

"Spencer, I love you more than you could possible know. We've been thru **so **much over these few years but no matter what we have gotten through them together, as I hope we get through the rest of our years in this world. There is so much I want to say to you, so much I need to say to you but I can't because words are never enough to show how much I love you, years ago you asked me to chose between you and Aiden but since I never cared for him like that the real choice you asked for was you or death because Spencer if you left me that's where I'd be right now, you're my life and happiness, and I would be honored to spend the rest of my life with you. Spencer...will you marry me?"

Ashley asked bringing the ring out from her pocket, Spencer felt her body stiffen, she wanted to respond, to move and cry well she had the crying part down as the wetness drenched her face or it could be the spray from the Falls she wasn't quite sure.

"Well?" Paula cocked an eyebrow urging her daughter to reply.

"Baby are you okay?" Ashley got up and stared lovingly into her favorite blue eyes.

"Ashley," Spencer squeaked out.

"What?"

"You stood up?" she whispered making Ashley giggle and get back down on her knee.

"Better?" Spencer shook her head, "Can you answer soon the sidewalk is hard," Ashley shifted to her other knee.

"I...love you Ashley and you know what forget about speeches hell yes I'll marry you!" Spencer lurched forward crashing into Ashley who fell backwards onto the slightly damp grass but like it mattered because their clothes were already wet from the mist of the Falls.

Cheers and applause echoed thru the night as the two embraced in a romantic slow raw passion kiss unlike any they shared before.

**Smiling at the memory Ashley shut her computer off and trudged upstairs, her legs barely moving, feet shuffling on the floor. Flipping the light on in the bathroom she discarded her clothes and ran the water, stepping in she let all the tension melt away, **_**I have a daughter, God I'm a mom**_**, she thought while rinsing off the soap. Once her body was clean and relaxed she stepped out wrapping the towel around her body, wiping the mirror off so she saw her self. **

**She brushed her hair than her teeth, loving the minty fresh taste it left in her mouth. In her bedroom she felt lonely as she found some boxers and a wife beater to throw on. Climbing into the bed big enough for three people her size she stared up at the ceiling wishing Spencer was beside her, safe and warm under the covers.**

**The phone started ringing interrupting her thoughts, rolling over the best she could with how tired her body was she reached for the cordless phone on Spencer's side of the bed, "Hello?"**

"**Ash?" Spencer's soft tired voice drifted thru the receiver.**

"**I got you baby," Ashley smiled before singing into the phone, letting all the emotions she'd been feeling ring thru her voice and into her wife's ears until the breathing on the other end evened out to a faint little purr, "I love you forever and always Spence," the brunette whispered into the phone careful not to wake the sleeping woman before pressing the 'end' button and falling asleep as well.**


End file.
